Whoa! I get very concerned, seeing something like this. There are women in very abusive marriages who are raped, as part of that abuse. You really should spend some time also learning who the enemy is, learn about things like "borderline narcissistic personality disorder," psychopaths and sociopaths, as that "take charge man" can be a monster, a bomb waiting to go off. It's happened many, many times, and a woman who really believes what you claim to believe would be a predator's dream. Also, people aren't perfect, and the world isn't perfect. You can't distill a relationship down into a list of neat rules. In any case, you need a healthy sense of who you are and your identity, have clear boundaries. What you may think is not being a feminist sounds to me like being a doormat. That's just being naive, in a world full of predatory evil. I wish you the best, but it's not appropriate to think some man you fall for is going to be Jesus, and you don't just submit to anything and everything. That is asking for trouble.