So this thread is to lay out what I have learned about a Woman's role in marriage.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=Wbj_eMhDqhA
It raises some good points, though the host/commentator is a little heavy handed.
Hope you are having a blessed day.
Gonna pray before posting my response to the video.
This video was on point in some ways, and a bit eccentric in others. The person editing in derisive subtitles and imagery made the video cynical instead of just correctional. But, the man counseling the couple did put his finger on a bad power dynamic.
We live in a spiritual war. In a war, a squad has a leader. They may not always agree with the leader's orders, but if they all follow the orders they have a better chance of surviving than if they split up every time they disagree. That is to say, sometimes there are two possible right answers, and half the squad prefers the first, half the squad prefers the second. Either one will work but only if the whole squad does it together. Therefore the leader chooses. That is the function of a leader, to prevent a losses caused by division. It is because the greatest power in a group isn't having the -best strategy- but -the best unity-. Now apply this to families, and you will see why a family must have a head, in a time of spiritual war when forces come against it to 'divide the house' so it cannot stand.
Regarding women leaders in church, God can and has anointed women. However, God did set up a pattern of male leadership. It is ultimately God who decides (not a male pastor or a male video editor who thinks Paul's doctrines supersede God's sovereignty). But just like in the Garden of Eden, the world is making its own proposition of self-advancement to women -- to take it for themselves instead of doing it God's way.
Here is how it may play out; a woman may be hurt by the men in her life as she grows up. She may have fear and resentment toward them so that she has to grow up without them. So when she grows into her anointing without a spiritual father, she may father herself. In any case, she may also link up with a man who was emasculated and shamed by women as he grew up. And he too may develop in an incomplete way, and their dysfunction can fit together.
Now God could use them to heal eachother, but the enemy could use them to sabotage eachother, or the world could use them as an empty counterfeit, and they may mistake the approval of the world for God's approval. If they are afraid, if they are sore, if they are hiding wounds and unable to submit it openly to God; if the woman is afraid the man will abuse her because others did, and the man is afraid she will accuse him because others did, that becomes a structure of fear that alters the power balance. And if they come to a fork in the road where they could go either way together but they're both afraid of the other's choice, what will happen to them? Will they stumble down the path together as a two headed body, or will they tear themselves apart?
Marriage is a crucible that brings out fears and old wounds. I could talk at length about how men have the symbolic role of strength, but we have as much human weakness as women, and so we need God's grace in order to lead, and we need support from women, we can't be men by ourselves. In fact in the same way having a baby may anchor some women to make better decisions, having a good woman can anchor a man. But this is a thread about women, so I'll just address this:
Unless the wife see's the husband dying to self daily, she will not be able to submit to her husband!
Essentially this is the sentiment that says, A woman cannot submit in a godly way because a man has not led in a godly way. But both the power to submit and the power to lead come from God, and whoever goes to God first gets this power -- whoever seeks to serve first -- is leading in the spirit by their heart. The world's teaching on status and power has turned submission into a dirty word, but what was Christ doing on the Cross? He wasn't waiting for the disciples to serve him, or waiting for the angels to save him. He was submitting. It is possible to tear a hole into heaven through hell by submitting. To pour hot coals on someone's head by repaying good for evil; to break a hard man's heart by soft answers and forgiveness. But you have to see the beauty of what Christ was submitting to, 'for the joy set before him'. And it may not look like the world told you it would.