That's unimaginable simply because there would be absolutely no reason for the perfect, sinless, infallible deity Christ to say such a thing to imperfect, sinful and fallible men. Some take the analogy between Christ and the church and husbands and wives too far. The analogy between Christ's relationship with the church and the husband and wife relationship is a limited one. There are some things that take place in Christ's relationship with his church that do not take place in the husband and wife relationship, and vice versa.
For example, a christian wife might need to go to her husband and RESPECTFULLY point out his sin if or when he sins against her. If her husband doesn't listen to her, she may have to employ the help of others depending on the sin (Mt 18:5, Luke 17:3). However, the church NEVER has to go to Christ and point out his sin because Christ is sinless - perfect, but the same is not true of husbands (or wives).
It seems you are essentially arguing that a man cannot be the head of a woman because he is not Christ. That renders the scripture completely pointless. Tell me, why would the bible prescribe -different roles for men and women- if they are equal as you say? Why wouldn't it just say 'men and women are equal, therefore you should all decide for yourselves how to divide responsibility and if you don't agree on something, just talk until you agree'?
That's a reasonable expectation too. Wives should be treated like equals because that's part of God's original design for creation and marriage. God created EVE to be Ezer Kenegdo (Strong's 5048 neged) - a helper Corresponding (corresponding means equal) to Adam - not inferior or superior but equal. Women and men are also equal partners in God's gift of new life. Men and women are equal in value, worth and God's gift of new life AND husbands are instructed to lay down their lives for their wives. It's not one or the other; both facts are true, and one does not negate the other.
Husbands should also expect their wives to lay down their lives for them. Dying is a mutual responsibility. Christians are instructed to die for each other (1 John 3:16) and die to sin (Rom 6:11-12). That's part of the Christian lifestyle. A Christian woman's responsibility to die doesn't end when she gets married, but it flows into marriage.
This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters (1 John 3:16).
Okay, so say a situation arises where one parent must risk dying while the other takes the children someplace safe. This is the only way the children will survive. In your division of roles, both parents sit and talk about who will stay and who will go, and they cannot do anything until they both agree, so potentially, they will argue until everyone dies. Or, the woman will instinctively rely on the man to do what he will instinctively do based on biology and tradition (neurological affinity for risk-taking), while the woman does the same in her form. But in the process they will be throwing out your secular gender equality.
When it comes to sacrificial love, both partners have an example of Christ, both in leading the disciples, and in submitting to God. There are many ways to lay your life down. There are many ways to be valuable and to serve. But if everyone thinks that only leading is the way, and everyone tries to lead, the result is paralysis and fracturing of the group.
Once again I do not mean to say that the role of a man makes men superior to women. A man's service in his role will be measured in heaven, and a woman's service in her role will be measured in heaven, based on what God called them to, and any given woman might have served better than any given man, and in heaven she might have a greater role than her husband does.
But the roles themselves on earth are instructional and symbolic. Since we all must submit to God and we all must serve those under us, we are given instructional roles, to practice those things, -regardless of our true value-. These roles are not equal, because they are not the same, in the same sense that the brain and the heart are not the same, and it doesn't even matter which one is more valuable, what matters is what they are together.
I know this is a lot to read through, and I threw it together quickly so it's not completely organized, but thanks for the discussion in any case.