The Terrible Advice Thread

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When you lose a competition make sure to put bananas peels all around the area where you lost to be sure that noone else can lose at such a competition.
 
When attempting to sing karoake try screeching like a banshee and you are sure to be more noteworthy.
 
Wash your hands in jelly then go play a video game not only will the game controller keep from falling out of your hands but your hands will smell so very sweet.
 
Try scaring a bear off your property with a fly swatter,it always works unless it's smoky the bear then you'll get a lecture instead.
 
When you have worn out some socks don't throw them away hang them up on a tree and put on some new socks,then when a storm comes through and the socks fly away off the tree someone else can make use of them and you can feel like you helped someone.
 
Always follow whatever vehicle you are behind, as closely as possible! If you can read the license number of the vehicle in front of you, you are too far back! That way, if they apply the brakes, there won't be much of a collision because they will not have slowed down much if at all when your vehicle hits theirs, so there won't be much speed differential in the collision ... which will minimize the damages from the collision!
 
joefizz said:
When you have worn out some socks don't throw them away hang them up on a tree and put on some new socks,then when a storm comes through and the socks fly away off the tree someone else can make use of them and you can feel like you helped someone.
Click to expand...

Is it wrong to find this as not so terrible advice ?
 
Pour a whole gallon of drain O down a toilet and it will work perfectly!
 
Put bacon all over the top of the outside of your car and don't expect dogs to give chase!
 
Dance in a lightning storm with a metal golf club in hand,it's invigorating!
 
when someone tells you that a thief will steal everything "that's not glued down" take this literally and glue every single item and piece of furniture so they can't be stolen or moved!
 
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