The Terrible Advice Thread

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If at a job interview, you are ever asked "Can you pass a drug test?".... tell them of course... you are incredibly experienced in this matter and hold eye contact until they break it
 
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Make sure to rinse your mouth out with plenty of orange juice after brushing your teeth.
Blessings
Bill
 
If you are wondering if you have any paper cuts use alcohol or nail polish remover liberally to locate them . Just splash on either on to the location in question.
Blessings
Bill
 
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To keep your hair well groomed use taco sauce to clean your hair,use a leaf blower to dry your hair and use a mop to brush it thoroughly!
 
If you invent something make sure to not get a patent/licence for it so you can start selling it immediately with no consequences!
 
Want to start a deep, meaningful debate on a forum that everyone can walk away from with satisfaction?

Look for any innocent-looking post and reply by yelling at them for no reason whatsoever! That always works!!!
 
Make sure you talk down to people to make yourself look better... oh and especially if you have a boyfriend... make sure you make all your friends look stupid in front of him so you two can laugh together. Then later act with them like nothing happened.
 
Don't forget to nitpick everything everyone else says and does...it'll make you look like the super spiritual police.
 
Have a car crushed for scrap metal then try to buy a new car with the money from it being crushed for metal.
 
Go right up to random people and hug them,then expect them not to call an insane asylum or think you're weird.
 
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