The Woman Your Mother Shoulda Warned You About

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J

Jullianna

Guest
#21
#21
Catlynn, I know your heart well enough to know that you mean no harm by your questions. :)

While I explained the motive behind these threads in the one about bad boys, I did not repeat it here, so that's probably my fault.

Ever since I began posting here I have heard guys complain time after time after time about good girls falling for bad boys. But not once did I ever see anyone try to share with young women what the warning signs were. Not all young women have someone to help them. Many young women are homeschooled or live in communities where they are somewhat sheltered and truly don't know what to watch out for. They are the perfect prey for the bad boy.

In reading through the bad boy warning thread, I noticed that a couple of the guys made comments that there are women out there that guys need to be warned about as well. Even in this thread there have been a couple of guys who have either learned the hard way and/or didn't kinow what to watch out for. Our society is HEAVILY into bashing guys and for some reason that seems to be okay. THAT really bothers me a LOT. Knowing full well that the guys are right in saying that there is a female version of the bad guy, it seemed only fair to help them understand what sort of woman to be careful of as well.

While we have done some of it in a joking way, the intent here is NOT to mock a stereotype. It's to let trusting guys out there know how manipulative some women can be. There IS a female version of the bad guy. I have a feeling that some of the things that have been said here never occurred to most of the guys.

I absolutely agree with the whole thing leaving a bad taste in one's mouth. I'm not thrilled about it either, but it's part of the world we live in. Knowledge is protection. That's what this thread is about, even if done in a tongue in cheek kinda way. :)
 
G

GraceReborn

Guest
#22
#22
Catlynn said:
This thread makes me sad. :/ I see where you guys are coming from but everything about it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. How is discussing this publicly beneficial to anyone? I can understand using discretion and warning a dear guy friend about these things before he jumps headlong into a relationship but maybe I just don't understand the necessity of making it a public mocking of a certain stereotype. Again, maybe I just don't understand the intention behind it.
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You ended my wondering Catlynn. I have been wanting to post silly things worldly women do but i can't seem to get a hold of even one in my head.

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.
Philippians 2:3-5 (NLT)

It's clear to me now. God reminded me like a slap in my face. I almost forgot that before I came to know, accepted, and followed Jesus, I was somehow, one way or the other, a girl any man's Mother would have warned him about.

There are perhaps a hundred reasons why a woman becomes like the examples mentioned here.. loneliness, bitterness, insecurities, abuse, lack of love, too much of unreal love, frustrations, deceit, desire to be liked, to be wanted, to be accepted and so on.

I cannot speak for them and so I speak for my self; for the woman I am now and the girl i once was.

If I knew sooner how my Father sees me...
of how precious I am in His eyes..
that I was actually fearfully and wonderfully made..
I wouldn't have done the things I did and thought
so lowly of myself..

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!
2 Corinthians 5:17

Funny, while in that state, I never thought I needed God in my life. I was filthy and was comfortable with it. I didn't understand the purpose of life; didn't understand life itself. Life to me was a big riot.. with a hundred nice things/people/opportunities and a million nasty things/people/disappointments. A never-ending-race-to-nowhere-until-I-die so called "life". It was like that everyday until I met mighty women and men of God. They didn't judge me or avoided me. I'm convinced God used them to pull out the destiny hidden within me... to open my eyes to my real identity in Jesus Christ.

The man who had died came out, his hands and feet bound with linen strips, and his face wrapped with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”
John 11:44

Jesus did not unbind Lazarus Himself, He called out to the believers to do it for Him.
I want to be that kind of believer.. To let God touch other people's lives through mine.

On the side note ;)

If men or women fall for worldly men and women and their crafty traps?
I'm sorry but I think it's not their fault youre too weak that you actually fell for it. Same as I think it's funny why Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent (the devil) for a job well done when both of them, free-willingly, disobeyed God. We are accountable for our own actions.

Don't expect your mommas to warn you about them. Take heart. Be full of His Word and of His Spirit. Be ready to obey where His Spirit may lead you; May it be To flee from worldly men/women or be with them but not one of them so that they may see His glory in you. Only God knows. Seek His will in every situation and fight for the relationship you have with God no matter how tempting the world has and may become. Desire to die everyday so He may live in you.

I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 5:24

and i love your threads too Jullianna! :D ;)
 
G

GRA

Guest
#23
#23
shawntc said:
There's nothing wrong with showing a little, obviously.
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I'm not so sure of that...

Christian modesty rule-of-thumb: "cover all the way up to the collar bones"...

.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#24
#24
I guess now I'm the one with questions :)

I totally agree that God can redeem anyone from anything, and we certainly long for Him to. But, after reading the above post, the questions forming in my mind are these:

Why is it okay for the bad boys to be talked about - how they use, manipulate and abuse women, but it's not okay to point out flaws in women who make a hobby out of using and hurting men? Suddenly the abusers are the victims?? When a woman does it, is she some poor little thing who couldn't help herself or didn't know any better?

I agree that there is probably a great deal lacking in someone who behaves this way and things in their lives that may have led to it, whether of their own making or not, but wouldn't the same be true for the bad boys? Why don't we see anyone sticking up for them?

I'm beginning to understand why guys feel they can't be honest with us.
 
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G

GRA

Guest
#25
#25
GRA said:
Christian modesty rule-of-thumb: "cover all the way up to the collar bones"...
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In other words:

Christian modesty rule-of-thumb: "NO cleavage should be showing"...

But there's a reasonable limit.
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Purely from a Christian modesty point of view, there is no reasonable limit -- the smallest amount that can be seen can still be "distracting"...

.
 
Liamson

Liamson

Senior Member
#26
Feb 3, 2010
3,078
69
48
#26
I guess for me I don't have a problem with the outward appearances.

If a woman wants to wear massive nails, tote a stupid dog around or speak as if she had any brains they would fall out, that is her business.

I'm not in any danger of falling in love with her. (Not even a little bit)


Its the one's who look the part of a missionary but, actually smoke weed on a regular basis that scare me.


The one's who talk about doing ministry, talk about fasting, talk about missions, talk about evangelism, but......... its just leverage. They want CONTROL. Having a man who drags them around to strange places to talk to strangers about Christ is just a little outside of their comfort zone. They like the idea but they are afraid to admit that really what they want is to stay home with a submissive man and raise a family. Which kind of works out for the Beta male who can follow her orders, so long as he suspends all rational judgement and keeps his opinions to himself, they will be a fine couple. But that is not for me.
 
G

GraceReborn

Guest
#29
#29
Jullianna said:
I guess now I'm the one with questions :)

I totally agree that God can redeem anyone from anything, and we certainly long for Him to. But, after reading the above post, the questions forming in my mind are these:
.
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You do mean after reading my post right? Just wanted it clear before commenting again. :)

I really wanted to post this too in the thread about the bad boys but it didn't seem appropriate.

Jullianna said:
Why is it okay for the bad boys to be talked about - how they use, manipulate and abuse women, but it's not okay to point out flaws in women who make a hobby out of using and hurting men? Suddenly the abusers are the victims?? When a woman does it, is she some poor little thing who couldn't help herself or didn't know any better?
.
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I did not mean for my post to be subjective in any way. I am not a feminist or the like. I gave up on fighting for equality and fairness..I found it pointless when I realized that's far from what Jesus died for. My testimony probably sounded one-sided simply because I am a woman. And I guess that's why I posted it here because I can relate here and not so much on the other thread (about the bad boys).

Jullianna said:
I agree that there is probably a great deal lacking in someone who behaves this way and things in their lives that may have led to it, whether of their own making or not, but wouldn't the same be true for the bad boys? Why don't we see anyone sticking up for them? .
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Yes, I wondered too. :D But I'll leave the men to answer to that.
Honestly, It was a lil battle for me to confess and make known to the people of CC that I actually had a past. I also had to kill the desire to be liked too. I am new here and would rather have notifications of "likes" received that comments like this. :) In my heart, I spoke not to be liked (as much as i wanted to) but for the truth and for His glory. :)

Jullianna said:
I'm beginning to understand why guys feel they can't be honest with us.
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I tried my best to keep my side note bias-free but if I failed, I'm sorry. I respect the differences and mean no offense. :( :)

honest
adjective

1. Marked by or displaying integrity; upright: an honest lawyer.
2. Not deceptive or fraudulent; genuine: honest weight.
3. Equitable; fair: honest wages for an honest day's work.
4.
a. Characterized by truth; not false: honest reporting.
b. Sincere; frank: an honest critique.
5.
a. Of good repute; respectable.
b. Without affectation; plain: honest folk.
6. Virtuous; chaste.

Me too. I would understand why guys feel they can't be honest with gals or vice versa . In fact, I would want to understand the reasons behind why men/women sin. But the reason behind sin can't discount sin from being sin. I cannot hold the people around me that caused/influenced/tempted me to sin accountable. Well, my flesh would love to but I know that's not acceptable to my God.

At the end of the day, it's Him that ultimately matters..
and that He took our form and died for us..
Despite the cruelty, hatred, pain, deceit and betrayal of the world
that He loved us even before we loved Him..
We matter to Him, men and women alike :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#30
#30
I totally get where you are coming from, GraceReborn. :) No offense taken. Just some questions that formed in my mind in the middle of the night. :)

We ALL have a past that Christ freed us from and still slip from time to time, so don't feel uncomfortable about sharing that here. :) Some of us know that those who have been forgiven much are usually far more compassionate toward others. I hear your heart loud and clear. :) Welcome to CC!

And you are absolutely right, the christian walk is not about doing/saying the popular thing, it's about sharing truth. It's also about facing truth. That's sort of the point of this thread. I hate it that there IS a bad boy or the sort of woman described in this thread, whether they exist from past hurts or selfish bad choices. I wish they didn't. I wish all knew Him. I wish all would surrender their hearts and pain to Him, but that's just not the case. :( And even though we wish they would surrender to Christ, it doesn't mean that it's okay for them to hurt people.

Yes, we had some fun with the superficial stereotypical stuff, but the deeper stuff really isn't funny. It's never funny when someone gets hurt, male or female. Hopefully, whichever side of this issue one may find themselves on, what they've read here they will allow God to use for good in their lives. If they are on the young/innocent side, their eyes will be opened and they will be a bit more observant before rushing headlong into a "relationship" with someone whose sole intent is to use them. And if there are women reading this who see some behaviors here that might be all too familiar, they will give these things consideration, as some of the guys were man enough to do in the bad boys thread. :)
 
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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#31
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#31
You're right. We just don't have enough serious threads here already.



I kid! I kid!! :p
 
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J

Jullianna

Guest
#32
#32
*throws a pie @ Gabe*
 
B

Beloved57

Guest
#34
#34
Jullianna said:
I guess now I'm the one with questions :)

I totally agree that God can redeem anyone from anything, and we certainly long for Him to. But, after reading the above post, the questions forming in my mind are these:

Why is it okay for the bad boys to be talked about - how they use, manipulate and abuse women, but it's not okay to point out flaws in women who make a hobby out of using and hurting men? Suddenly the abusers are the victims?? When a woman does it, is she some poor little thing who couldn't help herself or didn't know any better?

I agree that there is probably a great deal lacking in someone who behaves this way and things in their lives that may have led to it, whether of their own making or not, but wouldn't the same be true for the bad boys? Why don't we see anyone sticking up for them?

I'm beginning to understand why guys feel they can't be honest with us.
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Julianna, I think everyone here knows, just like David (will not a man), but you are a woman after God heart (I Samuel 13:14; 16:7).
But one honest question what so bad about a woman who won't shop at Wal-mart? I must admit I have a bias against Wal-nart.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#35
#35
Hey Beloved :) Thanks. Of all of the people in scripture, I have always understood and felt more like David than anyone else. :) Some of us are people of passion, which means that we are warriors, love deeply and pour it out to God and others, but it can sometimes get the best of us and cause us to mess up big time.

The Walmart comment meant only this: That she is the sort of women who loves spending money, will only wear designer labels, etc. A status sort of thing.

I realize that Walmart has made quite a few folks unhappy though. :)
 
C

CatWoman

Guest
#36
#36
Julianna, I was wondering if any of this came from the "meooow" thread you started about the catty woman.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#37
#37
No, not at all, CatWoman. The women we've described in this thread are women I've had a LOT of dealings with, having worked in law enforcement/the legal profession. :) These women DO certainly display that sort of cattiness though, don't they? I can honestly say that the woman of the meeoow thread isn't nearly as bad as the woman we have described here, and she isn't someone anyone here knows. :)

This was just an afterthought related to the bad boy thread that popped into my head after reading Liamson's and some of the other guys' comments in the bad boy thread. Sort of an admission that we women aren't perfect either, you know? ;)
 
B

Beloved57

Guest
#38
#38
Jullianna said:
Hey Beloved :) Thanks. Of all of the people in scripture, I have always understood and felt more like David than anyone else. :) Some of us are people of passion, which means that we are warriors, love deeply and pour it out to God and others, but it can sometimes get the best of us and cause us to mess up big time.

The Walmart comment meant only this: That she is the sort of women who loves spending money, will only wear designer labels, etc. A status sort of thing.

I realize that Walmart has made quite a few folks unhappy though. :)
Click to expand...

Hope I don't regrets this but, especially us employees.
 
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