I believe its a sin for a Christian woman to stay peacefully with a husband who's continually cheating - and I believe its a sin for a Christian to stay with wife who's continually cheating. The whole idea of marriage or behind marriage - is purity and holy living. -- That is why in Ephesians 5 , the bible compares marriage to the love that Christ had for the church. And it explicitly indicates that Christ's death for the church was to PURIFY THE "BRIDE" - to make her clean and free of fault , sinless.
----------------------------------------------
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives the same as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.
Eph 5:26 He died to make the church holy. He used the telling of the Good News to make the church clean by washing it with water.
Eph 5:27 Christ died so that he could give the church to himself like a bride in all her beauty. He died so that the church could be holy and without fault, with no evil or sin or any other thing wrong in it.
-----------------------------------------------
The purpose behind marriage is making two one , and the two becoming holy. You can't subtract the holiness out of marriage because that is exactly what Christ died for. The thing is , when people see your marriage - they should see the love that Christ had for the church. The sacrificial life , where someone undeserving of love and sinful - was reconciled to A HOLY LIFE. Marriage and relationships are not about our feelings - they are statues that tell or testify a message of God's love. Not the selfish " she's sexy/I feel happy when I'm around her" self serving nonsense. Marriage is about love FOR THE OTHER person - not what the OTHER PERSON DOES FOR ME. This world perverts marriage and relationships and makes them to be about ME AND WHAT I WANT. But marriage serves a higher purpose of SELFLESNESS and GODLINESS. THe world perverts relationships by making them be about "ME" and then removing GOD/HOLINESS out of it. To the point that someone who wants a car will say - "I won't date someone who doesn't have a car". Someone who wants money will say "I won't date someone doesn't have money" ..Somoene who wants sex and something to please their eyes will say "I won't date someone who's not hot" . THat is very selfish - When people see your relationship - will they see Christ's sacrificial love or your love for sex and money ?- That's the selfish part of it - but I want to focus on the Holy Part of it. THs is why the Hebrews writer says.
-----------------------------------------------
Heb 13:4 Marriage should be honored by everyone. And every marriage should be kept pure between husband and wife. God will judge guilty those who commit sexual sins and adultery.
------------------------------------------------
So if you stay peacefully with a cheating husband or a wife or a boyfriend or whatever terms you come up with - you're not keeping it up to the standard that God gave. When there's no sexual purity in marriage or relationship - you're not married. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT TWO PEOPLE WHO ARE COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER FAITHFULLY. That is why you make the vow to be faithful to each other on the day of marriage. Marriage is not about the party or the wedding dress or the ring the entertaining guests - thats rubbish - Marriage is all about that one vow. But people spend too much time focusing on the rubbish in preparation for marriage and not the vow. THat vow that you make before God and the world - that you'll be faithful to your wife IS MARRIAGE. And that vow that your wife makes to you - IS MARRIAGE. It works both ways.
------------------------------------------------
So back to the topic - a partner is cheating - what is to be done ? Divorce ? - Divorce is a possibility but it shouldn't be rushed but yes a partner who's a victim can invoke divorce and the divorce is NOT TO PUNISH someone. Divorce is not a sin - Divorce for silly reasons except sexual immorality is a sin. The main idea for divorce is to stop sin from going on - because as verses mentioned before - marriage is supposed to be holy and sacred between husband and wife - ONLY. Divorce is a means of justice although it was abused in the old testament because of hardened hearts ( Matthew 19). Think of it as an arrest. If your son is doing drugs - and you do nothing you end up ruining the life of your son. But ofcourse you don't call the cops the moment you find out - out of mercy( although in some cases that should happen). But in order to save the son from himself and to keep the idea of marriage "PURE"- sometimes you call the cops even though it has devastating consequences. It might help them change their life.
------------------------------------------------
1Co 5:5 Then turn this man over to Satan. His sinful self has to be destroyed so that his spirit will be saved on the day when the Lord comes again.
1Co 5:6 Your proud talk is not good. You know the saying, "Just a little yeast makes the whole batch of dough rise."
1Co 5:7 Take out all the old yeast, so that you will be a new batch of dough. You really are bread without yeast--Passover bread. Yes, Christ our Passover Lamb has already been killed.
[note : think of yeast as sin - so it's talking about making the church "sinless"]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In COrinthians there was a man who was living in sexual sin - and note - he's part of the church. Note something interesting - the church is SUPPOSED TO BE HOLY and spotless without sin ( remember Ephesianss 5 ? ) ...and here you see the practical appliction of Ephesians 5 in 1 Corinthians 5...wow nice coincidence...Didn't notice the numerical similarity. Anyway....The church becomes holy when it SENDS away the sinner out of its group. And you can compare it to divorce. HOwever if 2 Corinthians 2 is a continuation of 1 Corinthians 5. You see that the sinner is grieved and is repentant and Paul encourages the church to forgive the person. 1 Cor 5 is Justice , 2 Cor 2 is mercy. THis doesnt mean the man continued to have his step mom as his wife. The thing is - Church discipline can be compared to marriage - cos the church is Christ's bride. The goal is to attain church purity - and so the goal of marriage as well should be to attain marriage purity. If someone is failing to keep the purity of the marriage bed - then divorce can be invoked so that when people see marriage they always see purity. My current understanding is the person who cheated and got divorced can never marry again - if they do it would be considered adultery. While the one who's was the victim of adultery can marry again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a person is repentant about cheating and will go to great lengths to prove and show that cheating won't happen again - forgiveness and reconcilliation is possible. AS LONG AS THE MARRIAGE BED IS NEVER DEFILED AGAIN - that should be the goal - absolute perfection that testifies the reason that Christ died on the cross for. He died to make the bride pure and sinless. People tend to jump in Christianity and marriage without understanding the level and commitment that is expected when you decide to give yourself to a wife or husband or to the church. That's why the bible is covered with so many warnings against sin from Genesis to Revelations. Note in 1 Cor 5, its not the Corinthians who are sinning - its just one member, but Paul doesn't really address the member who's sinning directly. He puts blame on the Corinthian church for not putting away the sinner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1Co 5:11 I meant you must not associate with people who claim to be believers but continue to live in sin. Don't even eat with a brother or sister who sins sexually, is greedy, worships idols, abuses others with insults, gets drunk, or cheats people.
1Co 5:12 It is not my business to judge those who are not part of the group of believers. God will judge them, but you must judge those who are part of your group. The Scriptures say, "Make the evil person leave your group."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If someone is making the church or marriage to not appear pure and holy - they have to be removed or convicted to repentance. If they reject the conviction to repentance - then they have to be removed. If you don't remove or do anything about them - you are sinning. The CHURCH ACTS AGAINST SIN - it doesn't say "nobodys perfect he'll change in his time" - and the same attitude should be applied to marriage.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mat 18:15 "If your brother or sister in God's family does something wrong, go and tell them what they did wrong. Do this when you are alone with them. If they listen to you, then you have helped them to be your brother or sister again.
Mat 18:16 But if they refuse to listen, go to them again and take one or two people with you. Then there will be two or three people who will be able to tell all that happened.
Mat 18:17 If they refuse to listen to them, tell the church. And if they refuse to listen to the church, treat them as you would treat someone who does not know God or who is a tax collector.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This actually goes deeper than you think, but I don't wanna tell you how deep it goes because it might look like I'm putting a heavy yoke on you because you still struggle with lighter yokes. This also applies to the music we listen to - the movies we watch - and the friends we keep.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1Pe 1:14 In the past you did not have the understanding you have now, so you did the evil things you wanted to do. But now you are children of God, so you should obey him and not live the way you did before.
1Pe 1:15 Be holy in everything you do, just as God is holy. He is the one who chose you.
1Pe 1:16 In the Scriptures God says, "Be holy, because I am holy."
1Pe 1:17 You pray to God and call him Father, but he will judge everyone the same way--by what they do. So while you are visiting here on earth, you should live with respect for God.
1Pe 1:18 You know that in the past the way you were living was useless. It was a way of life you learned from those who lived before you. But you were saved from that way of living. You were bought, but not with things that ruin like gold or silver.
1Pe 1:19 You were bought with the precious blood of Christ's death. He was a pure and perfect sacrificial Lamb.
1Pe 1:22 You have made yourselves pure by obeying the truth. Now you can have true love for your brothers and sisters. So love each other deeply--with all your heart.
1Pe 1:23 You have been born again. This new life did not come from something that dies. It came from something that cannot die. You were born again through God's life-giving message that lasts forever.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I still struggle in trying to be holy and I fight hard for it - This is the spiritual battle that should consume us - and I know we get distracted by the physical yoke that we put on each other as we live in this world. But as a soldier of Christ - you should be fully aware of your responsibilities.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2Ti 2:3 As a good soldier of Christ Jesus, accept your share of the troubles we have.
2Ti 2:4 A soldier wants to please his commanding officer, so he does not spend any time on activities that are not a part of his duty.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ecc 12:13 The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
----------------------------------------------
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives the same as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.
Eph 5:26 He died to make the church holy. He used the telling of the Good News to make the church clean by washing it with water.
Eph 5:27 Christ died so that he could give the church to himself like a bride in all her beauty. He died so that the church could be holy and without fault, with no evil or sin or any other thing wrong in it.
-----------------------------------------------
The purpose behind marriage is making two one , and the two becoming holy. You can't subtract the holiness out of marriage because that is exactly what Christ died for. The thing is , when people see your marriage - they should see the love that Christ had for the church. The sacrificial life , where someone undeserving of love and sinful - was reconciled to A HOLY LIFE. Marriage and relationships are not about our feelings - they are statues that tell or testify a message of God's love. Not the selfish " she's sexy/I feel happy when I'm around her" self serving nonsense. Marriage is about love FOR THE OTHER person - not what the OTHER PERSON DOES FOR ME. This world perverts marriage and relationships and makes them to be about ME AND WHAT I WANT. But marriage serves a higher purpose of SELFLESNESS and GODLINESS. THe world perverts relationships by making them be about "ME" and then removing GOD/HOLINESS out of it. To the point that someone who wants a car will say - "I won't date someone who doesn't have a car". Someone who wants money will say "I won't date someone doesn't have money" ..Somoene who wants sex and something to please their eyes will say "I won't date someone who's not hot" . THat is very selfish - When people see your relationship - will they see Christ's sacrificial love or your love for sex and money ?- That's the selfish part of it - but I want to focus on the Holy Part of it. THs is why the Hebrews writer says.
-----------------------------------------------
Heb 13:4 Marriage should be honored by everyone. And every marriage should be kept pure between husband and wife. God will judge guilty those who commit sexual sins and adultery.
------------------------------------------------
So if you stay peacefully with a cheating husband or a wife or a boyfriend or whatever terms you come up with - you're not keeping it up to the standard that God gave. When there's no sexual purity in marriage or relationship - you're not married. MARRIAGE IS ABOUT TWO PEOPLE WHO ARE COMMITTED TO EACH OTHER FAITHFULLY. That is why you make the vow to be faithful to each other on the day of marriage. Marriage is not about the party or the wedding dress or the ring the entertaining guests - thats rubbish - Marriage is all about that one vow. But people spend too much time focusing on the rubbish in preparation for marriage and not the vow. THat vow that you make before God and the world - that you'll be faithful to your wife IS MARRIAGE. And that vow that your wife makes to you - IS MARRIAGE. It works both ways.
------------------------------------------------
So back to the topic - a partner is cheating - what is to be done ? Divorce ? - Divorce is a possibility but it shouldn't be rushed but yes a partner who's a victim can invoke divorce and the divorce is NOT TO PUNISH someone. Divorce is not a sin - Divorce for silly reasons except sexual immorality is a sin. The main idea for divorce is to stop sin from going on - because as verses mentioned before - marriage is supposed to be holy and sacred between husband and wife - ONLY. Divorce is a means of justice although it was abused in the old testament because of hardened hearts ( Matthew 19). Think of it as an arrest. If your son is doing drugs - and you do nothing you end up ruining the life of your son. But ofcourse you don't call the cops the moment you find out - out of mercy( although in some cases that should happen). But in order to save the son from himself and to keep the idea of marriage "PURE"- sometimes you call the cops even though it has devastating consequences. It might help them change their life.
------------------------------------------------
1Co 5:5 Then turn this man over to Satan. His sinful self has to be destroyed so that his spirit will be saved on the day when the Lord comes again.
1Co 5:6 Your proud talk is not good. You know the saying, "Just a little yeast makes the whole batch of dough rise."
1Co 5:7 Take out all the old yeast, so that you will be a new batch of dough. You really are bread without yeast--Passover bread. Yes, Christ our Passover Lamb has already been killed.
[note : think of yeast as sin - so it's talking about making the church "sinless"]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In COrinthians there was a man who was living in sexual sin - and note - he's part of the church. Note something interesting - the church is SUPPOSED TO BE HOLY and spotless without sin ( remember Ephesianss 5 ? ) ...and here you see the practical appliction of Ephesians 5 in 1 Corinthians 5...wow nice coincidence...Didn't notice the numerical similarity. Anyway....The church becomes holy when it SENDS away the sinner out of its group. And you can compare it to divorce. HOwever if 2 Corinthians 2 is a continuation of 1 Corinthians 5. You see that the sinner is grieved and is repentant and Paul encourages the church to forgive the person. 1 Cor 5 is Justice , 2 Cor 2 is mercy. THis doesnt mean the man continued to have his step mom as his wife. The thing is - Church discipline can be compared to marriage - cos the church is Christ's bride. The goal is to attain church purity - and so the goal of marriage as well should be to attain marriage purity. If someone is failing to keep the purity of the marriage bed - then divorce can be invoked so that when people see marriage they always see purity. My current understanding is the person who cheated and got divorced can never marry again - if they do it would be considered adultery. While the one who's was the victim of adultery can marry again.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If a person is repentant about cheating and will go to great lengths to prove and show that cheating won't happen again - forgiveness and reconcilliation is possible. AS LONG AS THE MARRIAGE BED IS NEVER DEFILED AGAIN - that should be the goal - absolute perfection that testifies the reason that Christ died on the cross for. He died to make the bride pure and sinless. People tend to jump in Christianity and marriage without understanding the level and commitment that is expected when you decide to give yourself to a wife or husband or to the church. That's why the bible is covered with so many warnings against sin from Genesis to Revelations. Note in 1 Cor 5, its not the Corinthians who are sinning - its just one member, but Paul doesn't really address the member who's sinning directly. He puts blame on the Corinthian church for not putting away the sinner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1Co 5:11 I meant you must not associate with people who claim to be believers but continue to live in sin. Don't even eat with a brother or sister who sins sexually, is greedy, worships idols, abuses others with insults, gets drunk, or cheats people.
1Co 5:12 It is not my business to judge those who are not part of the group of believers. God will judge them, but you must judge those who are part of your group. The Scriptures say, "Make the evil person leave your group."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If someone is making the church or marriage to not appear pure and holy - they have to be removed or convicted to repentance. If they reject the conviction to repentance - then they have to be removed. If you don't remove or do anything about them - you are sinning. The CHURCH ACTS AGAINST SIN - it doesn't say "nobodys perfect he'll change in his time" - and the same attitude should be applied to marriage.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mat 18:15 "If your brother or sister in God's family does something wrong, go and tell them what they did wrong. Do this when you are alone with them. If they listen to you, then you have helped them to be your brother or sister again.
Mat 18:16 But if they refuse to listen, go to them again and take one or two people with you. Then there will be two or three people who will be able to tell all that happened.
Mat 18:17 If they refuse to listen to them, tell the church. And if they refuse to listen to the church, treat them as you would treat someone who does not know God or who is a tax collector.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This actually goes deeper than you think, but I don't wanna tell you how deep it goes because it might look like I'm putting a heavy yoke on you because you still struggle with lighter yokes. This also applies to the music we listen to - the movies we watch - and the friends we keep.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1Pe 1:14 In the past you did not have the understanding you have now, so you did the evil things you wanted to do. But now you are children of God, so you should obey him and not live the way you did before.
1Pe 1:15 Be holy in everything you do, just as God is holy. He is the one who chose you.
1Pe 1:16 In the Scriptures God says, "Be holy, because I am holy."
1Pe 1:17 You pray to God and call him Father, but he will judge everyone the same way--by what they do. So while you are visiting here on earth, you should live with respect for God.
1Pe 1:18 You know that in the past the way you were living was useless. It was a way of life you learned from those who lived before you. But you were saved from that way of living. You were bought, but not with things that ruin like gold or silver.
1Pe 1:19 You were bought with the precious blood of Christ's death. He was a pure and perfect sacrificial Lamb.
1Pe 1:22 You have made yourselves pure by obeying the truth. Now you can have true love for your brothers and sisters. So love each other deeply--with all your heart.
1Pe 1:23 You have been born again. This new life did not come from something that dies. It came from something that cannot die. You were born again through God's life-giving message that lasts forever.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I still struggle in trying to be holy and I fight hard for it - This is the spiritual battle that should consume us - and I know we get distracted by the physical yoke that we put on each other as we live in this world. But as a soldier of Christ - you should be fully aware of your responsibilities.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2Ti 2:3 As a good soldier of Christ Jesus, accept your share of the troubles we have.
2Ti 2:4 A soldier wants to please his commanding officer, so he does not spend any time on activities that are not a part of his duty.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ecc 12:13 The end of the matter; all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.
