too young to marry?

[F8Th]

Ive never gave much thought about marriage (im 20) until recently and thought up some questions to ask you all.

1. When did u start thinking about marriage? like, the idea of getting married and how old u would wanna be etc?

2. Is there a 'too young'? or do you think that whenever a couple has been together for a while and (through seeking God and through prayer obviously) decide that they want to spend their lives together for 'forever' that its fine

3. how long would you know/date someone before considering/talking about marriage?

 

[owyka]

I under stand that there is no time that is to early for.marriage as long as you have a mature heart. you can be on your 30s and can not make a home and you could be a teen(18-19) or in your 20s and you have the mature mind to manage a home(marrige). There is no specific time fpr marriage as long as you are ready. SHALOM

 

[Ugly]

Yeah, i'd roughly agree with owyka. Problem though is, everyone, no matter their age, thinks they're mature enough to marry. I'd say the majority of 18-25 year olds are not ready.
The best idea in marriage/dating is 'don't hurry'. Chances are the slower you go, and the longer you take during your dating phase, the better chance you have of having a successful marriage. Making sure you really are IN LOVE with the PERSON, not the idea of the person, or the idea of marriage. That you can tolerate their faults and weaknesses. By tolerate i don't mean 'try to pretend they don't exists' or 'assume you can change them once you get married', but genuinely accept and deal with them.
I'd suggest focus more on learning what it means to be married, and how to be a good spouse, and less time on trying to become married. Marriage isn't about your happiness, your fulfillment, your needs.. its about self sacrifice. Its about your spouses happiness, fulfillment and needs. You work at making each other happy, not expecting you're just so awesome that you get catered to while you give nothing in return. Start reading what the bible teaches on marriage, find some good Christian books on marriage, talk to you pastor about it. Find some happily married couples, see if you can have a coffee with them and talk to them about how they have kept their marriage going strong. Talk to a divorced person, find out what mistakes they made. Learn from them. Though i will caution you sometimes divorces skews a persons perspective on marriage, so watch for some to have an overly negative attitude about marriage and don't let it get to you.
And of course, keep growing in your walk with God.

 

[Ritter]

1. When did u start thinking about marriage? like, the idea of getting married and how old u would wanna be etc?

Probably age 15.

2. Is there a 'too young'? or do you think that whenever a couple has been together for a while and (through seeking God and through prayer obviously) decide that they want to spend their lives together for 'forever' that its fine

Yep, if anything the survival of Western Civilization demands that most of its members marry at a younger age (say 20). Obviously, that would take massive societal reform.

3. how long would you know/date someone before considering/talking about marriage?

I have no idea. A year at the least.

 

[Angel_face]

I totally agree with ugly. Specially with "Chances are the slower you go, and the longer you take during your dating phase, the better chance you have of having a successful marriage. Making sure you really are IN LOVE with the PERSON, not the idea of the person, or the idea of marriage. That you can tolerate their faults and weaknesses. By tolerate i don't mean 'try to pretend they don't exists' or 'assume you can change them once you get married', but genuinely accept and deal with them."
When I was 20 I was really in love with my boyfriend and wanted to marry him... thank God i didnt! When I was 23 the same with the other one. Thank God again. Why? Because when u r young, u have interests, and shallow expectations that may fullfil u, but as u grow older, you start knowing what u want and dont want in life... but if u had made a lifeterm commitment, there is chance to go back. Have to stick with a decision that maybe in your adulthood wouldnt have taken.

 

[BADDOG]

Hi firstly there great questions you asked !!!

from my point of view having been married twice once devorced the 2ed wife passed away 12 years ago now so i guess i have been there and done that ,,,,,

what i have seen over the years is that many people will never be ready for marrage and some are ready at 16 ,,,

but the ones that only think of the big white wedding and dream of that big day these are the marrages that are stort lived ,,,, as marrage isnt just for one big day but the rest of your life ,,,, then we get to the whole baby issue ,,, many ladys get married to have kids ,,, and many men get married to have sex ,,,, both of these have the wrong mind set for a marrage to work out well in the long term ,,,,,, age from what i have seen has no real standing with this from my point of view

Remarrage is a whole mind game of issues most of the guys i know would just like to have a special friend whom they see from time to time then they go home to there single life and would be more than happy never to have any more kids ,,,,,,,, what i have posted may not be what you wish to hear but its just how life is ,,,,, so it all deppends on the mind set of the 2 people who wish to get married ,,, if one has a hidden agenda the whole thing will come down like a house of cards

thx again for your great questions
BADDOG

 

[Jullianna]

I never really thought about getting married when I was in my teens, yet I married at 18. I agree with those who say that it is better to wait until your mid 20s or so, though I realize some people mature earlier. I was married for 15 years before my husband passed and I loved him dearly and don't regret marrying him at all, but marrying at a VERY young age adds a lot of unnecessary difficulties to a marriage, especially if you are BOTH very young. We are not the same people at the age of 18 that we will be at 25..or 30..or.... Fortunately, he was quite a bit older, wiser and far more patient.

I firmly believe in taking your time and long engagements. People can only pretend certain things for a limited period of time. It is very important to TRULY know the person you are marrying. Love can most definitely be blind. Don't become another statistic.

 

[WordGaurdian]

Ive never gave much thought about marriage (im 20) until recently and thought up some questions to ask you all.

1. When did u start thinking about marriage? like, the idea of getting married and how old u would wanna be etc?

2. Is there a 'too young'? or do you think that whenever a couple has been together for a while and (through seeking God and through prayer obviously) decide that they want to spend their lives together for 'forever' that its fine

3. how long would you know/date someone before considering/talking about marriage?

Give it ten years then start thinking about it. Keep yourself clean and learn to trust the Holy Spirit.
Make an active relationship with Him. Talking (praying) and listening. Very important.

And God will give you the right one, when you are ready. And not before. Don't go searching that special someone. Let God bring you two together. And if you are together and you are meant for each other... you wouldn't need to ask if that person is the right one. You'll know. Because that person will fit like a glove into your personality and being. Totally perfect. WIthout exception.