Tricky situation - advice needed

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Anna80

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Hello everyone!
I would really appreciate some input on this situation.
I have a friend who was married to a Christian man but although there was physical intimacy the actual physical union did not happen between them. Eventually she ended up sleeping with a non-Christian and divorced her husband. Later on she got together with another man, also a non-Christian, and got a baby with him. In the meantime this man became a Christian and wants to have a family with her. My question is, in the light of the Bible, should she get back with the first husband? Was their marriage valid if they did not become one physically?
Thank you.
 
Deuteronomy 24:1-4

It basically states that if a man and a woman divorce and she (or he) has been with someone else (in the scriptural context, this pertains to remarriage but adultery isn't taken lightly, so I'm positive still applies), then the man and woman (original marriage) should not remarry because such is an abomination to God. So based on that scripture, it's best they remain separated.

Since the divorce was on biblical grounds (because she cheated), if her ex-husband so pleases, he may remarry, or remain single, whichever.

And yes, their marriage was valid.
 
If you think it applies to adultery too, than it means forgiveness in case of adultery is out of the question. I do not think so. And as to the marriage being valid, doesn't the Bible say the man should leave his parents and the two should become one? So if this doesn't happen, can we even speak of marriage?
 
It sounds to me like your friend needs to do some studying on what the Bible says about sexual immorality. I know you were brief but what I'm reading is that physical attraction seems to be uppermost in her mind. If that is the case, she may have trouble finding happiness in any marriage. With respect to remarrying her first husband, that does not appear to be a very good idea since she already cheated on him once.

I believe your friend needs some loving Christian counseling instead of quick advice on her next relationship. I would suggest that you try to speak to her, yourself, or refer her to a qualified Christian counselor.
 
Once the vows are said, they're married. Marriage is a covenant; in it, two become one.

Of course, all can be forgiven but this doesn't mean they should get back together. I mean, after all that has happened, do they really want to?

The choice is theirs and, unfortunately, people tend to do as they see fit. Really, all you can do is pray for them.
 
I just want to add the verses I had in mind when I asked about getting back with the first husband, from 1Cor. 7:10-11, that apply to Christian marriages: "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband."
 
Anna80 said:
I just want to add the verses I had in mind when I asked about getting back with the first husband, from 1Cor. 7:10-11, that apply to Christian marriages: "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband."
Click to expand...

I believe that the operative word in that verse is reconciled. That word means something more than just getting back together and settling back into "business as usual". Reconciliation implies that both husband and wife truly forgive each other, and want to enter into a meaningful marriage relationship.

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul described marriage this way "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— "

Unless your friends are willing to commit to such a relationship, I believe they are probably better apart.
 
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