troubled teen of a Christian family

[trust_in_the_name]

This is Sara's mom, Sue. Yesterday we were encouraged when we left for church. Sara stated that she wanted to join the youth group and following church she said she had enjoyed being there this time and had seen some friends she doesn't see at school. We went for lunch and following that Sara said she needed to talk to me. Apparently, she had decided to tell me she had tried pot a few times because a mother (who is a friend of mine) told Sara she would tell me if Sara didn't. It was a hard thing to hear because her father and I never had any idea. She stated she hadn't used much and it only made her feel silly. She also said the last time she had done it was at the home of the girl she had left with last Friday after school and didn't let us know where she was for several hours.

Another thing about marijuana is it can be very addicting, and once you're hooked bascially you do nothing all day. It will sap your energy and your will to get anything done. This can have a bad effect on grades too.

This has been very disconcerting because now we do not know who to let her be with or where she can go. We are going to one of our son's traveling soccer team games this weekend and it will require our being gone overnight. We had arranged for Sara to stay at another friend's house but have been told this is a girl who can get pot, too. Sara knows she can't stay there but would like to go to a second friend's whose parents we do trust. Do we let her do that? Of course, my mother and father would let her stay with them. They (gma67) are aware of all this. Making Sara go to the soccer games would only make her a sullen presence there. She says she won't do this again but my trust has been shaken. Thanks for your thoughts.

You could wait for a while, then get a drug test done if you want to be sure. (It stays in the system so the test would not be accurate unless you gave it some time first.) Or you could trust her, that's up to you, but if she thinks she knows best she may have no trouble lying about it to you. Usually you can get some idea of how sincere a person is.

 

[STRUGGLING]

Please I WAS the Troubled teen of thirty years ago we were deemed unsalvageable by so many in church yet that you reer your children to know the truth they must come HOME to the Good Sheperd I know cause of caring people who love the lord parents, grandparents or someone in church that did not molest us but represented the truth. You knowing the Truth of His all encompassing LOVE and outstretched arms of self sacrifice the REAL Jesus Not the one now appearing in donut shops halls of govrernment into our homes however "it" can try he posed for the painting You can tell your child with all your love where the love comes from our Unseeable Jesus so clear to us in the love of a believer and faith . You can pray as you ought ,that is:believing for her Youve made Christ the Home SHE WILL TURN TO AND LIKE ME RETURN TO oNCE AND FOR aLL INTHIS lAST dAYS cALL DISCUUSING "WHATS HAPPENING" Prphetically Not the latest pleasure or scandel OR also my Story Christ is capable of Calling her Himself as He is now Calling the world to the Rapture she may return to you with an interest "hearing" Him PLEASE answer in Love when she seeks Christ in you For your sake He must be found in you if to you she is looking

 

[tryingtofindhim]

I feel like at her age you shouldn't be forcing her to go to church. She's almost an adult and is probably sick of Christianity being shoved down her throat. the best way to reach out to her is to live your faith out loud instead of talking about being a Christian show her that you are a Christian through your actions. Also she's probably going through a phase she'll grow out of it or life will teach her at this point there's not much you can do.

 

[xXErraticEmilyXx]

Trust her. Most kids my age out here do pot. Good for her to tell you that she did. Keep her in your prayers that she makes the right decisions. She's still learning & this might have to be part of it.

 

[qweasdzxcxz]

Another thing about marijuana is it can be very addicting, and once you're hooked bascially you do nothing all day. It will sap your energy and your will to get anything done. This can have a bad effect on grades too.

Okay, while we want to do what is right for this girl, blatantly making up lies isn't going to help. Marijuana is not addicting, and it in no way makes you sit on the couch all day. There is nothing against marijuana in the bible, and it wasn't illegal until the 1930s. Then the "reefer madness" hollywood campaign started, initiated by the government, and everyone went nuts about it because they thought these movies were accurate.

In other words, its only been illegal for about 75 years, and the prohibition is seemingly about to end... because the drug is FINE. It's great for migraines, pain, anxiety, depression, glaucoma... and to say it sapps your energy... IT ONLY MAKES YOU LAZY IF YOU ARE LAZY. If not, you'll want to go out and explore the world and talk about science and stuff. As Francis Crick said(the guy who figured out DNA with Watson), "Marijuana removes the filters of abstract thought."

It's a great drug, so lets not drag marijuana into this.

 

[STRUGGLING]

Hi! Did you get my message on the subject of your/Christ LOVE for your daughter yesterday? we cannot pretend that what Christ siad will occur is not now occuring not if we Love Him. My grandparents really loved us when we were children so we Recognize the Obama communism and anti-jesus feel-good etc.. BECAUSE my grandparents loved us . Now I must care for my mom spiritually and emotionaally AS Christ taught/teaches leads us by the hand even though from/in heavenI know His Word for NOW the first bible to REAH Alaska was really from grandma and grandpa I lived mostly outdoors, you say she may runaway FRom? Take resposiblity Come to Christ yorselves EDUCATED CHURCH people dont need to dismiss the Lord or embrace an anti-jesus-jesus stand because ChristPROMISED in His Word to find me AND your daughter in that alley!

 

[dmdave17]

Dear gma:
I am sure you have gotten a lot of good advice from the people who responded to your post, but I would like to add my two cents anyway. Of all the options available to your family, the worst thing you can do (I believe) is nothing. Whether your response is active (punishment, escalating if the offenses escalate), or passive (talking about it with, and in front of, the girl), there needs to be a response.
We had a teenage daughter some time back who started going down that path. She had some "problems", primarily a tendency to be overweight which affected her self esteem, so we handled her with kid gloves (as they say) because we didn't want to hurt her any more. We allowed her to get away with many things we knew were wrong out of love (we thought), since they were not major (no drugs, no sex, no criminal activity).
Unfortunately, our troubled teenager grew up to be a troubled adult. She is 29 now, and still has the same self esteem issues she had as a teen. She cannot have adult relationships, and she still relies on us for everything. We pray for her constantly, and she has made a lot of progress toward maturity. But there is no doubt in my mind that our laxness when she was younger contributed greatly to her problems today.
So my personal advice would be do something! In addition to praying for her (which I'm sure you already do), she needs to know that her family loves her and cares enough to get involved in her life, even if she doesn't want that right now.
Thanks for listening. God bless you all.

 

[trust_in_the_name]

Okay, while we want to do what is right for this girl, blatantly making up lies isn't going to help. Marijuana is not addicting,

Yes it is. It's psychologically addicting. Some may be able to resist this, but it's there nonetheless.

and it in no way makes you sit on the couch all day. There is nothing against marijuana in the bible, and it wasn't illegal until the 1930s. Then the "reefer madness" hollywood campaign started, initiated by the government, and everyone went nuts about it because they thought these movies were accurate.

In other words, its only been illegal for about 75 years, and the prohibition is seemingly about to end... because the drug is FINE. It's great for migraines, pain, anxiety, depression, glaucoma... and to say it sapps your energy... IT ONLY MAKES YOU LAZY IF YOU ARE LAZY. If not, you'll want to go out and explore the world and talk about science and stuff. As Francis Crick said(the guy who figured out DNA with Watson), "Marijuana removes the filters of abstract thought."

It's a great drug, so lets not drag marijuana into this.

I think you kind of missed my point. I'm not talking about the period of time during which you are under the influence of the drug. The problem is when the effects wear off. It leaves you feeling tired, worn out, and lethargic both physically and mentally, for the rest of the day, until you are able to sleep for the night.

 

[qweasdzxcxz]

"Yes it is. It's psychologically addicting. Some may be able to resist this, but it's there nonetheless."

It isn't psychologically addicting. Some people can get psychologically addicted to it, but you can say that about anything enjoyable. The vast majority of people would never get addicted to it.

" I think you kind of missed my point. I'm not talking about the period of time during which you are under the influence of the drug. The problem is when the effects wear off. It leaves you feeling tired, worn out, and lethargic both physically and mentally, for the rest of the day, until you are able to sleep for the night."

Have you ever actually smoked? This doesn't happen. I think people often mistake this with the fact that they just happened to be tired that day.

 

[nonicknametouse]

Hi, I was very active in a Mom's support group for over 10 yrs. it sounds to me that your granddaughter is rebelling. I know it is a trying time for her. There is so much pressure on our youths today. One thing I can say is that you really need to listen to her. Sometimes we think we need to give advice when we really need to listen to her needs and be sensitive to them. Maybe something happened to her in the youth group. Maybe she got her feelings hurt or is being bullied there. Just because it is a youth group doesn't mean there are no bullies. Maybe it is time for family counciling. Go to your pastor or a Christian councelor, before things get worse. There is something within your granddaughter which needs to be addressed immediatley. Once a child begins to show disrespect to adults, especially family then it is time to take action. Be patient with her. Just love her and I will try hard to remember to pray for her on a daily basis. Please let me know your progress . God bless you.

 

[Ugly]

Hi, I was very active in a Mom's support group for over 10 yrs. it sounds to me that your granddaughter is rebelling. I know it is a trying time for her. There is so much pressure on our youths today. One thing I can say is that you really need to listen to her. Sometimes we think we need to give advice when we really need to listen to her needs and be sensitive to them. Maybe something happened to her in the youth group. Maybe she got her feelings hurt or is being bullied there. Just because it is a youth group doesn't mean there are no bullies. Maybe it is time for family counciling. Go to your pastor or a Christian councelor, before things get worse. There is something within your granddaughter which needs to be addressed immediatley. Once a child begins to show disrespect to adults, especially family then it is time to take action. Be patient with her. Just love her and I will try hard to remember to pray for her on a daily basis. Please let me know your progress . God bless you.

If you look to the top left of a post it tells you when the post was made. In this case the person you're responding to created this thread in January 2009. Its a 4 year old post. And the poster is no longer a member of this site. Use caution in going back into old posts and responding as many people do this and respond to posts that are years old and often to someone who is not a member any longer.

 

[Nautilus]

and itz such a serious trangession too...or just let people respond then let it die back down again...

 

[spacefreak]

strict discipline and punishment for actions and alot of prayer

 

[morrisonintexas]

For some reason around the 60s I think parents started listening to Dr Spock and quit reading the Word of our Lord. This girl is disobeying not only her mother but her grandmother as well. Since your a member of this site I am going to take for granted that you already spank her and enforce other punishment consistently. When you give in to kids like this, and try to "understand" them, you really do them a dis-service. Let me explain, we are ALL born into sin, with rebellious hearts that lead us into destruction. Some of us have those around us who care enough to discipline us to the point of repentence. Those people soon find God. Others have people who only seek to mitigate the consequences of rebellion. Those kids never find their way. The real question is....which are you going to be?

 

[Nautilus]

yes spanking a high school freshmen would be real effective...sigh

 

[spacefreak]

there's other ways of punishment then spanking although it is effective