Living a christian life,and trying to be good the way a christian should be without Jesus is what Jesus call a self-righteous person. trying to make themselves right in God's eyes. Not gonna work,or maybe you have found that out by now. That is what the Scribes and pharesees thought they could do, that is why they were against Jesus. all the right things you do,and your life is still falling apart. not by works can you be saved,but by faith only.turning your life over to Jesus,like handing your bank account over to someone that can manage it much better than you can, because you can't stop misusing it. you get angry, you get frustrated because there is no change in your life for the better. you gotta do one or two things, give up trying and give it to Jesus .,or your heart will keep getting harder.on the day you hear his voice, harden not your heart. oh, you will know because the voice you hear will be like someone in the room talking to you,but deep in your spirit. just say yes Jesus,and he will take it from there. Just read Matthew 13 from verse one and it will describe a non-christian and a christian. see if this is you!