trying to rebuild relationship with ex

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birchall

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A while back I dated a girl for five wonderful years, but then we broke up as the spark was no longer present. That was four years ago and ever since i have wanted to be able to engage in a conversation with her again, but no. Recently she sends me the first message in four years and my heart leaps for joy. As the conversation rolled out i discover that over the four years she has gained several mental health disorders related to our break up, and the only reason that she messaged me was so that i can gloat. This hurt me because i could never gloat over such a thing and that she was actuality expecting me to. But with that conversation over we continue chatting, and i learn about the medicinal drugs she is on in a attempt to stabilize her. I know i am not supposed to "fix her" as she puts it. But i want to be here for her and to be able to support her through this, the issue being that she doesn't know how to accept this support and i don't know how to give it, which scares me at times. I still love her. I never stopped.

Please pray that she can overcome this stage in life and become stronger from it. Also, please pray for guidance and wisdom for me, so that i can say the right things and be there for her. And finally, i pray that she meets the loving arms of god, so that she may have peace at mind, knowing of his love.
Any suggestions are welcome

Thank you very much
 

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I imagine she might be mad because you said the mental disorders were related to your breakup. Maybe she doesn't accept the support because she think you are the one with the blame. We are humans, just try as best as you can and pray a lot.
 
It's not likely her mental disorders magically spawned because of your break up. Granted, there are cases where this can happen, but most mental disorders show by the early 20s at the latest. And usually when a mental disorder pops up later in life, it's because it was dormant in a person already.
Either there were a lot of other stressors going on in her life and your break up was the last straw, or the very fact that she was so unable to cope with the break up is signs of the mental disorder showing themselves already.
She's basically blaming you for her problems, when in reality those problems were already within her, dormant or not.
This attempt to get you to 'gloat' is more likely an attempt to guilt you for everything, to make you responsible for all she's going through.

And 'overcome this stage in her life'. You do realize that very few people ever overcome their mental disorders. All they do is control them with medication and/or therapy. So if she ever goes off those meds, either by choice, or an inability to get them, she will simply go back to the mental disorders controlling her behavior.

You want to 'be there for her' yet you don't know how. Which means you're more likely to do more harm than good, because you will be acting out of ignorance in dealing with her.
Sorry, but this entire situation is one giant red flag, and you're trying to push yourself into it, blindfolded and hoping things will magically work.
 
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