Unbelievers, Separation & Divorce

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dmdave17

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I came across a passage in Paul's first letter to the Corinthians this morning, and I felt compelled to share it here. I am doing so because I may have, in the past, been guilty of misleading people who were undergoing a great deal of pain in their lives.

I have been a "God hates divorce" guy for some time now, and my replies to persons facing that situation have been influenced by that belief. However, the Apostle, Paul refined that argument somewhat in First Corinthians. This is what he said.

"To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. ... But if the unbeliever leaves, let it be so. The brother or the sister is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace. How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or, how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? (1 Corinthians 7:12-13 & 15-16, emphasis added)

This would seem to offer an "escape clause" of sorts to those Christians who are having marital trouble with unbelieving spouses. While I do not read it, necessarily, as an excuse to kick an unbelieving spouse to the curb, it does appear to absolve the believer of guilt if the unbelieving spouse leaves anyway.

Therefore, if you are facing this situation with an unbelieving spouse, and you have done everything you can to save the marital relationship, I believe that God is telling you, through Paul, that you can split up with a clear conscience.

God bless.
 
I'm not sure I agree. It seems to me that the Bible teaches us that God is a relationship God and desires us to live in peace. I think that we might be free to choose not to live with an unbelieving spouse, but we are to remain "bound". We have to look at the Bible as a whole. In so many places, God teaches us that we are to divorce only in the case of adultry. Perhaps if they leave, we are to live without joining another relationship. Marriage is a sacred union and what God puts together we are not to put asunder.
 
I have read and studied that passage a lot. I hearing it saying that if the unbeliever leaves, then so be it but we (those with faith) are bound by GOD's laws and we have to do everything to remain faithful to our spouse. If the unbelieving spouse cheats or runs of or whatever then you are free to divorce and remarry because the marriage will be over through no fault of your own but until then stay faithful and have faith in GOD. If they yell, hit, cuss, whatever ever but don't cheat, banish or remove you from their life, then remain faithful.

I am divorced and that is how I see it.She cheated but I remain faithful to GOD and my marriage vows. But that is my choice.
 
WHAT ABOUT THE WOMAN AT THE WELL? GOD DOES NOT LIKE DIVORCE.BUT THERE IS ONLY ONE UNFORGIVABLE SIN.
IT IS ALSO BETTER TO MARRY THAN BURN.
 
Hmm..well this is all very thought provoking. I have certainly given it much thought in the past as I, too, am divorced and remarried. The peace I have found with this scripture and others that deal with divorce and remarrying is in the perfect, unconditional love and forgiveness of our God. The same love and forgiveness He extends to us when we gossip about our neighbor, refuse to serve in the church, put other things before God, or break any other commandment He has given us. Not that I believe this gives us a free reign to sin, mind you. However, the escape clause mentioned as experienced by myself seemed in itself to be a gift from God of deliverance. I have unashamedly thanked God numerous times for delivering me from the hands of an abusive, sexually prowling, immoral drunkard of a man by simply having him to walk away. I am not an advocator of divorce, but a believer in God's divine love to heal and forgive.
 
I find it very interesting to hear the views of those who are advocates of divorce and remarriage. I can imagine that one would have to convince themselves that such actions are justifiable in order to feel guiltless within this situation, considering the word of God is so obvious where this topic is concerned.......Yes, the said scripture gives freedom to those who are in an uncomfortable marital situation, where the unbelieving spouse leaves the believing spouse,(as mentioned before) "They are not bound in such cases."
When we as believers Know to do good, and choose not to, it then becomes a sin. The same expectation does not rest on the unbeliever, and for this reason, they can leave guiltlessly. Did you notice that the scripture does not tell the believing spouse to leave the unbelieving one?
My real point is this.....Asking for God's direction before choosing a spouse, and actually listening to the answer is key in this discussion.
The problem with us humans is that we are always trying to do what feels good to us, and not trying to do what is right according to God's word. We always seem to address our emotions.....When the bible gives such clear cut instructions, so that we don't fall into problems in our daily lives.
How many of us knew that we were taking a gamble with the person we exchanged marriage vows with, but thought that,"we can work it out" and went ahead with it anyways. If we are real honest with ourselves, we will probably all raise our hands. It is so rare that we get blindsided by our spouses actions. There is most of the time clues...especially when we are allowing God to be our guide. And because we put ourselves into a tough situation, we now want God to help us out of it. He wanted to help us into it before we made the decision. Too many people are not willing to drop off the things that are not good for us, or the people that are not good for us because why?....Because, "I want to be married"

Now we begin to work the scriptures out to fit into our dilemas, and take away the truth of the matter....God is not okay with divorce. Neither is okay with remarriage. (unless your first spouse dies)
He would not command us to forgive, and then tell us it's okay to Divorce our spouse under any other term than the one he gave,(adultery) , when Divorce is such a clear cut show of unforgiveness. When your saying, "I don't want to be with you anymore" What does that mean? It means that there is something in which I can no longer stand about you, so the vows that we took,"for better or worse," are now taken back. Come on brethren? In more human realistic terms, (if scripture is not clear to you all) How can you make a vow and then renege on it? Marriage is sacred. otherwise it would not be until death do we part. I would be leary about marrying someone who already vowed to someone else, "till death do we part" and then while they are still alive, they make the same vow to me?
The scripture gives freedom to live apart if absolutely necessary. But the vows are not exempt.
I know some situations seem unbearable, but God is able to do exceedingly abundantly, more than we can ever ask or think.....Whether we trust him or not, it's up to you.
 
I always thought that only for the act of adultery divorce was permissible. If for any other reason separation occurs then as Paul states in 1 cor 7 that as the Lord commands not to divorce period, but if possible reconcile, door always left open to forgive and keep true to ones vow. Jesus was asked about marriage as at the time too many were using "any reason" clause to justify divorce. There is nothing God can't remedy if only we humble ourselves and take self emotion out of it. When two get married and the marriage sours for whatever reason it's not as if God didn't know it would happen, but being the third strand in that cord that ties marriage together we quickly cut God out then try and justify the hardness of our heart thru the blame game yet the whole time God is more than willing and able to restore what's been broken.
 
I have a question. I have worked with many people.Some women fhat were in relations where there husbands were literally
beating the pulp out if them. The children were horrified and abused as well.Some kids taken away because responsible
parent wouldnt leave, Do you believe God wants someone to stay under those conditions? Some people are blessed
with a wonderful partner. others arent. Who would put their child through that?
 
damombomb said:
I have a question. I have worked with many people.Some women fhat were in relations where there husbands were literally
beating the pulp out if them. The children were horrified and abused as well.Some kids taken away because responsible
parent wouldnt leave, Do you believe God wants someone to stay under those conditions? Some people are blessed
with a wonderful partner. others arent. Who would put their child through that?
Click to expand...

1 cor 7 makes it clear, for me anyway, no problem separating it's the divorcing part that God has commanded that doors be open to reconcile if at all possible, but all things are possible with God. I'd encourage the separation in that situation and would not encourage a divorce and claim it's Gods will.
 
I have read that scripture many times and I know it applies to my situation but I can't quite bring myself to cut the ties just yet. My non-believing husband is having an affair and smearing it in my face. I talk to GOD alot about it and still my heart is breakiing. I know I am suppossed to leave I just don't know when or how.
 
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