URGENT!!! DESPERATE FOR PRAYER AND STRENGHT

[Hefzi-ba]

I need prayer everyone! Im reconciled w the Lord for about 4 months. I have a very long testimony. As a lil. girl of 6 I was taken to L.A., Ca. by my mother (from El salvador C.A.) we were poor and I suffered a lot of neglect, and wasnt raised in a healthy enviroment. I have an uncle who gave his life to Christ since 18-19 yrs old (He has been a pastor for about 17 yrs. now) When I was a lil. girl he used to drive a distance of 45 min to pick me up and take me to church Even though no one else in the family went, I was always happy to be w my uncle. He was always so patient w me (thats how the seed of God's word was planted in my heart). He tried, but I had a tough childhood, sooo...I started running away since I was a lil. girl of 11 yrs. I faced many dangers, but ended up being part of a street gang in Los Angeles and after a long serious of events I became very streetwise. I used drugs and then learned to sell drugs to earn some money, where after, I ended up in Juvenile Y.A. in Ventura, Ca. served a sentence of 2 yrs 9m0. There I accepted the Lord through a sister who was part of a prison ministry, and when I was released I when straight to church and tried serving the Lord for about 4 yrs or sooo, But i never really matured spiritually. I left from the the Lords path and decided that I was curious for other things. In my confusion I ended up renouncing to Christ verbally, and became an open door for all sorts of demons. I was led astray by the desires of my own heart and I was literally turned in to Satan's hands. (This confirms the scripture Luke 11:25-26: When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first"
I willingly opened doors and dabbled w the occult, and was lost for over 16 years. I was blind and my soul was captive in darkness and sin, drugs and alcohol. I've suffered from deppresion since a kid, and had almost no hope about life because all my dreams where crushed. I've suffered of a disorder of self-mutalation and constant thoughts of suicide; first for depression issues; second for vampiric practices. Now Im finally reconciled w my Lord and He is restoring me. Even though I am doing my part in daily prayer and fasts and contstant spiritual warfare, there are times (like this recent days) where I lack strength. That is why I've shared some of the main points, soo that you (brothers and sisters in ChristJesus) who understand what spiritual warfare is about will help me in asking the Lord to restore me and give me constant strenght; that I need. BECAUSE I AM STRUGGLING W DEPRESSION AND CONSTANT THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE!

 

[Donkeyfish07]

I need prayer everyone! Im reconciled w the Lord for about 4 months. I have a very long testimony. As a lil. girl of 6 I was taken to L.A., Ca. by my mother (from El salvador C.A.) we were poor and I suffered a lot of neglect, and wasnt raised in a healthy enviroment. I have an uncle who gave his life to Christ since 18-19 yrs old (He has been a pastor for about 17 yrs. now) When I was a lil. girl he used to drive a distance of 45 min to pick me up and take me to church Even though no one else in the family went, I was always happy to be w my uncle. He was always so patient w me (thats how the seed of God's word was planted in my heart). He tried, but I had a tough childhood, sooo...I started running away since I was a lil. girl of 11 yrs. I faced many dangers, but ended up being part of a street gang in Los Angeles and after a long serious of events I became very streetwise. I used drugs and then learned to sell drugs to earn some money, where after, I ended up in Juvenile Y.A. in Ventura, Ca. served a sentence of 2 yrs 9m0. There I accepted the Lord through a sister who was part of a prison ministry, and when I was released I when straight to church and tried serving the Lord for about 4 yrs or sooo, But i never really matured spiritually. I left from the the Lords path and decided that I was curious for other things. In my confusion I ended up renouncing to Christ verbally, and became an open door for all sorts of demons. I was led astray by the desires of my own heart and I was literally turned in to Satan's hands. (This confirms the scripture Luke 11:25-26: When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that man is worse than the first"
I willingly opened doors and dabbled w the occult, and was lost for over 16 years. I was blind and my soul was captive in darkness and sin, drugs and alcohol. I've suffered from deppresion since a kid, and had almost no hope about life because all my dreams where crushed. I've suffered of a disorder of self-mutalation and constant thoughts of suicide; first for depression issues; second for vampiric practices. Now Im finally reconciled w my Lord and He is restoring me. Even though I am doing my part in daily prayer and fasts and contstant spiritual warfare, there are times (like this recent days) where I lack strength. That is why I've shared some of the main points, soo that you (brothers and sisters in ChristJesus) who understand what spiritual warfare is about will help me in asking the Lord to restore me and give me constant strenght; that I need. BECAUSE I AM STRUGGLING W DEPRESSION AND CONSTANT THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE!

God Bless you sister, I'll pray for you

 

[Kefa52]

Praying that you can find peace in Jesus. He is waiting for you with wide open arms. Turn to Jesus, and use your testimony to help other young girls in trouble.

 

[Oceanne]

"You have also given me the shield of Your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great. You enlarged my path under me, so that my feet did not slip." Plsam 18:35-36
Praying for you sis. Sometimes trials seem to be so hard that we think there's no end to it, but there's always an end to it with God because of His grace, love and mercy.
Love you in Christ Jesus!

 

[Hefzi-ba]

Thank you, I am doing that. I cant let my guard down, but lately it has been super tough. I am waging war in prayer including in the needs of the church, and I think thats another reason why I feel sooo tired spiritually and physically.

 

[Kefa52]

Thank you, I am doing that. I cant let my guard down, but lately it has been super tough. I am waging war in prayer including in the needs of the church, and I think thats another reason why I feel sooo tired spiritually and physically.

The Holy Spirit gives each one of us gifts. When we are working in these gifts we are delighted and have extra unexplained strength and desire.
On the other side if we are not working in our gift it will drain us of all energy. How about taking some time and resting in the Holy Spirit to see if you might be working in the wrong gift.

 

[Hefzi-ba]

That is exactly what im trying to understand. Does that mean that I should only focus prayer on my needs. Because the restoring is a long process and demons have presented themselves through dreams. Sooo how do I understand what this "resting in the Holy Spirit" mean. I suppose it is the same as "Be still before the Lord?" I'm recently a member in my uncle's church and I see that there is sooo much need even within the church. even though I've been reconciled for just a few months; Ive almost immediately started speaking to other people about salvation and have even needed to advice to a few woman in the church that have opened up to me. Sooo I do feel drained.

 

[Oceanne]

That is exactly what im trying to understand. Does that mean that I should only focus prayer on my needs. Because the restoring is a long process and demons have presented themselves through dreams. Sooo how do I understand what this "resting in the Holy Spirit" mean. I suppose it is the same as "Be still before the Lord?" I'm recently a member in my uncle's church and I see that there is sooo much need even within the church. even though I've been reconciled for just a few months; Ive almost immediately started speaking to other people about salvation and have even needed to advice to a few woman in the church that have opened up to me. Sooo I do feel drained.

You see what is very important is to take the time to relax, take good sleep, take nice walks. You are drained physically and spiritually so you need to rest alot, especially you having a depression. Don't do too much. Be wise and keep the energy you need until you are more strong.

 

[Kefa52]

That is exactly what im trying to understand. Does that mean that I should only focus prayer on my needs. Because the restoring is a long process and demons have presented themselves through dreams. Sooo how do I understand what this "resting in the Holy Spirit" mean. I suppose it is the same as "Be still before the Lord?" I'm recently a member in my uncle's church and I see that there is sooo much need even within the church. even though I've been reconciled for just a few months; Ive almost immediately started speaking to other people about salvation and have even needed to advice to a few woman in the church that have opened up to me. Sooo I do feel drained.

(Sooo how do I understand what this "resting in the Holy Spirit" mean. I suppose it is the same as "Be still before the Lord?")

You got it.
Take some time off for yourself. Be still before the Lord. We aren't much good to folks when we are exhausted.

 

[Ariel82]

"Ive almost immediately started speaking to other people about salvation and have even needed to advice to a few woman in the church that have opened up to me. Sooo I do feel drained."

perhaps it would be best to study God's word first and pray instead of advising other women at this time. surely there are other women that would be willing to listen to them? also shouldn't there be more mature women mentoring you instead of the other way around?

you feel drained because you have picked up a burden that God did not place on you but you have placed upon yourself. God wants us to first seat at His feet as Mary did and not run around like Martha, but learn what it means to have peace and joy in our hearts and not fear.

Romans 8
[SUP]15 [/SUP]For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father.” [SUP]16 [/SUP]The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,

[h=3]Psalm 23[/h]
23 The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
[SUP]2 [/SUP]He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
[SUP]3 [/SUP]He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.


[SUP]4 [/SUP]Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil;
For You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

[SUP]5 [/SUP]You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You anoint my head with oil;
My cup runs over.
[SUP]6 [/SUP]Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
All the days of my life;
And I will dwell[SUP][a][/SUP] in the house of the Lord
Forever.

 

[pickles]

Setting you before God in Jesus Christ is Lord come in the flesh, for all that is His victory and the delight of His loving salvation.
Keep up the good fight, keep the faith, your victory is already with you.

Huge hugs and God bless
pickles

 

[loveme1]

Call out and ask Him to come my friend.

Psalm 51

51 Have mercy upon me, O God, according to thy lovingkindness: according unto the multitude of thy tender mercies blot out my transgressions.
[SUP]2 [/SUP]Wash me throughly from mine iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin.
[SUP]3 [/SUP]For I acknowledge my transgressions: and my sin is ever before me.
[SUP]4 [/SUP]Against thee, thee only, have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that thou mightest be justified when thou speakest, and be clear when thou judgest.
[SUP]5 [/SUP]Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me.
[SUP]6 [/SUP]Behold, thou desirest truth in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt make me to know wisdom.
[SUP]7 [/SUP]Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
[SUP]8 [/SUP]Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast broken may rejoice.
[SUP]9 [/SUP]Hide thy face from my sins, and blot out all mine iniquities.
[SUP]10 [/SUP]Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me.
[SUP]11 [/SUP]Cast me not away from thy presence; and take not thy holy spirit from me.
[SUP]12 [/SUP]Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.
[SUP]13 [/SUP]Then will I teach transgressors thy ways; and sinners shall be converted unto thee.
[SUP]14 [/SUP]Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy righteousness.
[SUP]15 [/SUP]O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth thy praise.
[SUP]16 [/SUP]For thou desirest not sacrifice; else would I give it: thou delightest not in burnt offering.
[SUP]17 [/SUP]The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
[SUP]18 [/SUP]Do good in thy good pleasure unto Zion: build thou the walls of Jerusalem.
[SUP]19 [/SUP]Then shalt thou be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness, with burnt offering and whole burnt offering: then shall they offer bullocks upon thine altar.

 

[shekaniah]

Agreeing in prayer with my family in Christ.
Love and Blessings, Shekaniah

 

[Hefzi-ba]

Thank you, that makes much sense. There are reasons though- Im not sure what the social differences are, but there are many people here, who neglect there spiritual and prayer life, even though they have several years in church and our church is in definate need of mature spiritual leaders. For some reason (even out of church) people open up to me. But it is great advice and I do receive it. Just today my uncle (the pastor) said he was concerned about me, that I should recover and that I wasnt ready.
Thank you and God Bless you

 

[liz247]

God bless you on your journey, and it seems that you have a wonderful uncle. Just let the Lord lead and guide you and rest in His love for you. Spiritual warfare is very real but sometimes the devil wants us to become so preocuppied with it that we loose sight of the most important thing and that is the wonderful gift we have just recieved. We must be balanced, confidant in who we are in Jesus and seek wise consul.

 

[Hefzi-ba]

Brothers and sisters, I'm still in much need for your prayers. It's been made clear to me that I have to wait on our Lord patiently. I'm going through very painful and tortouring experiences in this healing/liberating/restoring process. Im lacking physical and spiritual strength. I've had 5 different experiences in where the evil has manifested through my body (this is just the superficial areas); I am aware that the toughest part is yet to come. Please keep me in constant prayer.

 

[pickles]

Thankyou for keeping us all updated.
You remain in my daily prayers in Jesus's name for all protection, victory and the delight of Our Lord Jesus.

Hugs and God bless
pickles

 

[Hefzi-ba]

Today, was a better day. Ive had soo much spiritual oppression this past couple of months, but today I was able to see much clearer. For some reason, sowhere along the day I realized that I didnt feel the same as yesterday and I tought"THE FRIENDS IN THE CHAT, MUST BE PRAYING FOR ME". I also believe that the Spirit made me feel prayers of a vast army over me. I dont know if it is know; or if it will be soon. I had a couple of days waking up at dawn STRUGGLING TO COME OUT OF WARFARE DURING SLEEP. For those who do not believe; It is DEFINITELY REAL. Please continue to pray for me, It is for SALVATION OF MY SOUL, and the evil is putting up a fight.

 

[PANCAKES]

praying~

 

[PANCAKES]

Also,

Surround yourself with Him every day Hefziba. Speak the word out loud every day when you read from now on, because it terrifies our oppressors, they hate hearing the word spoken, sometimes I even yell it out loud.

My final word of advice, log into christian chat every day and contribute as much as you can. So instead of just asking for prayer, PRAY for others. Give advice. Love. Why? because there is immense healing in doing so. Sometimes even more healing than any amount of prayer you receive on this forum - because you are building a foundation of Christ-like will and behavior, which in turn will help you to say NO to things you need to say no to.