Waiting

[bigkcola_03]

I'm not married, and I've had a lot of unsuccessful relationships (actually, all of them, since I'm single now), but you will never meet anyone until you try. It's that simple. God will NOT just hand you someone and place them on your doorstep. God expects you to go out and meet people, plain and simple. God doesn't give you lottery tickets to get rich fast, in terms of relationships or literally. God can help you find someone I'm sure, at least help you make the choice of who is right, but He will NOT just place someone in your lap.

I can't stand when people keep saying that. It's great to have faith, but it's wrong to expect God to do everything FOR you. Abraham had to leave Ur before God would help him. Moses had to go back to Egypt (and he complained the whole way) before God would help him. Jacob had to work a total of 14 years before God gave him Rachel.

It takes being proactive on your own part to find a perfect spouse. If you just sit and wait, you will be single forever. There is no way of getting around this.

i understand that you have to do your part. its just like asking God for an A on a test. I can pray and pray all i want, but if i don't hold up my end of the bargain and actually study, then i'm not going to get an A. i guess a lot of the time when we ask God for something, we really should be asking to HELP US get or achieve something. apart from Him we can do nothing, but with Him and through Him we can do everything

so i understand that he doesnt always just GIVE us what we ask for with out us doing our part. i suppose im asking, what exactly is "our part" to fullfill while asking Him to help us find the right person. is just hanging out with someone in a group enough for us to know when God sends that person, if we are looking? or will we need to date around to find them? i personally don't like the idea of dating around, even if it is more than just casual dating. so, what is our duty in helping Him help us?, (for lack of a better way to word it)

 

[Stephanie]

I'm nearly 25 and have never dated and don't believe in dating. If you like a guy and you want to know if he's the right guy, a good clue is that he is persuing you. If he's not persuing you then he doesn't like you enough and you shouldn't bother with him in my opinion. And if he REALLY likes you he will talk to you parents/pastor about a serious relationship with you. Also, prayer- pray and ask God. Courting is essentially dating that's by no means casual.

I like the book 'I Kissed Dating Goodbye'. I know not everyone agrees with it but it's worth a read anyways so you can decide for yourself.

I'm 20 and I've never had a boyfriend. For the longest time I thought that I was probably the only person who had yet to have a boyfriend. But this past year I got involved with the BCM (Baptist Collegiate Ministry) at my school, and I was surprised to meet several girls my age who also had never had a boyfriend. I was glad to know that I was not alone.

Most every girl i know who has tried casual dating says, Don't do it. They hated it. And I don't intend to try it. The idea has never even appealed to me. I know we should wait for the guy that God has picked out for us.

But I wonder, should we not date at all? If we trust God to send us the right man, then we should be content being single and waiting. But if we aren't looking for anyone to date, how will we know when he shows up? I mean, what if you find that you're attracted to this guy, and you really like him, and so you start to get to know him better. But if you don't date, how will you ever know if he's the right guy? If you never take that relationship past a friendship? But if you date him, are you in a way not trusting God?

So for anyone who is married, what's your story? How did you know they were the right one when you found them?

 

[BellaFlor]

I guess I am probably one of those weird Christians, since me and my husband got brought together while I had never had a boyfriend(only one through the internet that we broke up before we even met, so I don't count it much as a real relationship )before. And we are now married, the first one I hold hands with, got my first kiss with, and all those other things you do in a relationship. We sure waited with any sex till after our wedding day, of course, both being virgens as well. So to my experience it was all worth waiting and praying to God about meeting the right husband for me. Sure, it is nothing wrong with getting known with guys, one of them might become the "chosen one" for you.

The special thing that happened with us is that God gave us knowledge even before we became a couple that we were meant being together, that we were the right ones for each others. For many this might sound very silly, and I do have heard someone saying that you can't totally know that before getting known more time. But I do beleive the Holy Spirit can put that knowledge in us, especially when it gives you such a peace and joy about it, just knowing it. So what I have experienced is that when putting trust in God, and really asking Him to tell us who it is, etc... I beleive He does answers us, yet, in different ways since we are also different persons with different wishes.

This is from my experience when finding my life partner. God Bless You!

 

[Matthew]

Most every girl i know who has tried casual dating says, Don't do it. They hated it. And I don't intend to try it. The idea has never even appealed to me. I know we should wait for the guy that God has picked out for us.

But I wonder, should we not date at all? If we trust God to send us the right man, then we should be content being single and waiting. But if we aren't looking for anyone to date, how will we know when he shows up? I mean, what if you find that you're attracted to this guy, and you really like him, and so you start to get to know him better. But if you don't date, how will you ever know if he's the right guy? If you never take that relationship past a friendship? But if you date him, are you in a way not trusting God?

Forever curious to me why people think there is one standard for all people.

There are so many differences between people that talking too others about what they think and have experienced only helps to a small degree, finally we have to decide for oursleves and figure out what is best for us even if that was bad for someone else we might know.

The singles forum gets weighed down with 'how do i...?' threads as if there's one answer and some people speak like their way is the only way or that only they have wisdom enough to see the truth of things and are here to enlighten us all......it's quite nauseating.

If the idea of dating doesn't appeal to you then don't date anyone, but just be sure you are doing so because it doesn't feel right and not to play into any expectations whether they come from within your faith or elsewhere, you need to follow your heart within the context of being a christian not live a passive life because one day God will set everything onto the right tracks for you, we are here to live and make our own lives and there's not much wrong with dating so long as you keep your eye on the final goal and don't do it just to have a litte fun by playing the field.

Dating is fine, casual dating is not fine.

 

[Matthew]

If you like a guy and you want to know if he's the right guy, a good clue is that he is persuing you. If he's not persuing you then he doesn't like you enough and you shouldn't bother with him in my opinion.

That's true but only too a point as you must make allowances for personality.
Some guys need to see a little interest coming back their way to make it seem like pursuing a woman is worthwhile and they aren't basically turning into a stalker, just a smile or a friendly gesture, nothing to distort the incredibly important gender roles.

With shy men not pursuing is as clear a sign of interest as not pursuing and even though that's obviously not going to lead to anything you should be careful not to make assumptions about what a guy is feeling just because he isn't going about making that clear in a way you think he should or are accustomed too.

 

[haley4jesus]

That cracked me up. I was like... say what!??

******correction++++++
This new touchscreen phone is embarrassing me! Supposed to read a "couple of Condos at the Beach" and "Brad Pitt" sorry ladies...my bad.