Wedding Preparation vs Marriage Preparation

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1still_waters

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Something about the way many approach wedding preparation and marriage preparation seems backwards.

My perception is that many spend more time, money, effort, stress, concern, anxiety preparing for the one day event of the wedding, than they do in planning for the life long 'event' of marriage.

A couple may go to a few hours of marriage counseling, but spend much, much, much, much time planning the wedding.

A couple may spend thousands of dollars on the one day of the wedding, but won't store up the same amount of money so they have a little to fall back on once married.

We have situations like this, then wonder why divorce is so high!

What if we required one hour of marriage counseling for every hour one invests in to wedding preparation? What if we required one dollar be put in savings for every dollar invested in to the one day of the wedding?(Obviously I'm not including situations like eloping and shot gun weddings or whatever. So don't go splitting hairs on me here. You KNOW what I'm gettin at here, so just stick with me.)

The way things are right now, it seems like more weight is given to the one day, instead of the lifetime together.

If a woman wants to be a princess, but doesn't want to invest he prep time in to the marriage too, then for goodness sakes, go buy a fancy princess dress and go to Disney or a fancy restaurant.
 
My dads a pastor, and when a couple comes and asks him to perform their wedding ceremony he requires them to go through 6 to 8 weeks of pre marital counseling, he said more than half of them change their mind about him doing the ceremony because apparently they dont have time for marriage counseling.

Really shows where their priorities are.
 
[
quote=Liamson;390291]yeah, they just wanna get it on.[/quote]


hahaha um good point!
 
I've known women who were more in love with getting married (because all of their friends were doing it and it became some sort of dumb competition) than they were with the guy they were marrying. Just because someone asks, it doesn't mean they're the right one. Marriage is tough, even when you DO find the right person. So many couples avoid the tough questions BEFORE they marry. Huge mistake.

Liamson's response reminds me of an old country song: Do you want to make love or do you just want to fool around? You can take it seriously or take it somewhere else.
 
Jullianna said:
I've known women who were more in love with getting married (because all of their friends were doing it and it became some sort of dumb competition) than they were with the guy they were marrying. Just because someone asks, it doesn't mean they're the right one. Marriage is tough, even when you DO find the right person. So many couples avoid the tough questions BEFORE they marry. Huge mistake.

Liamson's response reminds me of an old country song: Do you want to make love or do you just want to fool around? You can take it seriously or take it somewhere else.
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I actually have known guys that are more in love with the idea of marriage than they were with the woman they married. There can be a huge amount of pressure on both sides...
 
Was thinking about that too, Nuke. The scriptures say that if you can't control your desires, you should find a wife. I see guys talking about that a lot in the chatrooms. I'm thinking a guy should consider some additional reasons for wanting to become a husband. While that part is awesome, there's so much more to marriage.
 
I mean, I think some women REALLY love the idea of the white gown, the flowers and all that. I agree there should be some kind of pre-marriage counseling but I don't think it should be mandatory, they could have been best friends for 20 years before getting hitched. Haha

I say, let the crazy bridezillas have their fun =P
 
Most couples have already been living together for a couple years before getting married. Not most christian couples, just most in general.
 
FSUBoy966 said:
I mean, I think some women REALLY love the idea of the white gown, the flowers and all that. I agree there should be some kind of pre-marriage counseling but I don't think it should be mandatory, they could have been best friends for 20 years before getting hitched. Haha

I say, let the crazy bridezillas have their fun =P
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Being best friends for 20 years, and living in the same house as that person for the rest of your life.......... two totally different things.
 
That's true but then again a few months of counseling doesn't suffice either.

People will marry how, when and who they want. To FORCE them to do counseling is fine for a specific pastor, but it would not work in everyday society.
 
FSUBoy966 said:
That's true but then again a few months of counseling doesn't suffice either.

People will marry how, when and who they want. To FORCE them to do counseling is fine for a specific pastor, but it would not work in everyday society.
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I agree with you on the last point.

However counseling in any shape or form for two months could be what saves someones marriage.

Well except maybe not electro shock therapy :D
 
Electro shock therapy has been a latent fear of mine since I was little O.o
lol
But yeah, I mean AFTER marriage counseling definitely helps, but pre-wedding counseling is by far less helpful to see if the two people are compatible than if they actually live together. That's probably the only way to see if two people can co-exist and not kill each other haha
 
Doc-Brown.jpg
Dont you worry, i know somebody that knows somebody and he can help you out with this fear of yours....
 
Jullianna said:
Was thinking about that too, Nuke. The scriptures say that if you can't control your desires, you should find a wife. I see guys talking about that a lot in the chatrooms. I'm thinking a guy should consider some additional reasons for wanting to become a husband. While that part is awesome, there's so much more to marriage.
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I've heard that too...and if that was all there was to marriage, I'd have gotten married when I was 20 so I wouldn't have to 'control my desires'. I've known guys that married pretty much 'because she said yes'. I always knew there was so much more...that's why I've stayed single so long, to get my own house in order before I bring someone else into it.
Yes, the Bible says the above, as well as 'the two shall become one flesh', but I think most people read that and think 'sex', when there's so much more. There's 168 hours in a week, if you spend perhaps 10 (more or less) a week in intimacy, then that's 158 in non-intimate situations. You're still 'one flesh' with your wife/husband, that part doesn't change.
I heard a pastor say it this way...that the woman spends countless hours preparing for the wedding day. The man spends countless hours preparing for the honeymoon week. Who's preparing for the countless hours of marriage after that?
 
NodMyHeadLikeYeah said:
I agree with you on the last point.

However counseling in any shape or form for two months could be what saves someones marriage.

Well except maybe not electro shock therapy :D
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I personally would greatly benefit from having ol' Doc Brown zap my frontal lobe with 1.21 gigawatts...
 
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