What’s a man to do?

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Doodahdad

Junior Member
Jun 8, 2017
28
4
3
#21
I Timothy 5:8:
7 Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. 8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has deniedthe faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
 

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
Jul 27, 2018
411
369
63
The Garden of Weeden
#22
I Timothy 5:8:
7 Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. 8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has deniedthe faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
And where does this say it has to be with money? And where does it say you must do it alone? That says everyone able in your family is responsible for providing for your/their family, not just you. So again, TO ME, your feeling it's your responsibility is pride. But like I also said, you're free to disagree. Please just do so, I don't care to debate you.
 

NayborBear

Banned Serpent Seed Heresy
#24
Hi Didymous, you are correct of course that some of these peole are indeed lost... and the sad part is that my position does not permit me to minister to them.... I guess I have determined that the closer I get to God, the more it bothers me.... someone in the thread had suggested that perhaps I am growing weary of my position, and I believe there is some truth to that... the problem i find myself faced with is either to stay in this position and battle from day to day so I can make angoodnliving for my family, or seek a different position that would not pay as well and potentially cause my family hardship, which I don’t want to do ...
Sounds like you are coming upon a "reality of life in flesh", that every working man, Christian, or not, has to ask himself...eventually! And? It's not easy in having to "face the music" of one's declining limitations, that "growing older" does to us all! Some hit the bottle, in trying to ease, or escape from the stresses. (physically, as well as mentally/spiritually) Some hit up "big pharma" for the same reason. Which inevitably, and eventually will, not shall, turn you into the kind of person that drove you to it to begin with, yanno?

May just hafta find ya a big open field somewheres, look up into heaven and cry out! "God?" "Are ya trying to tell me something here?"
Er, maybe he is. Ya just don't wanna accept it? :unsure:

Lots of truth in that saying: "What I used to do all day?" "Now takes me all day to do!" ;)
 

Sola-Leonis

Junior Member
Jun 6, 2017
16
0
1
#25
Wow Gardenofweeden if no one else is gonna say it I will ... take some advise from Thumper the bunny... “if ya can’t say sumethin’ nice don’t say nuthin’ at all!” Doodahdad was simply approaching the Body of Christ as we are instructed to do (Proverbs 11:14) ... not to be slapped in the face and be told he was being prideful. I reread his posts and I didn’t get at all he is being prideful... why is it that in these threads there always has to be that one person who just can’t help but be contentious?? While this world is going to hell in a hand basket we need to stick together not tear each other down!!
 

Doodahdad

Junior Member
Jun 8, 2017
28
4
3
#26
Hi Naybor... yeah, facing that music is very often the forefront of my mind. Unfortunately this job is a really a young mans game, and I will admit I should have made better plans earlier in life or thought this through a little better... but here I am. Fortunately I have an amazing wife who is also my best friend... so she is able to calm me quite well when I am feeling overwhelmed, much more than a bottle could ever do for me (although I do enjoy a glass of Sirah at times!)

And I have had numerous conversations with the Father as you suggest, but so far no answers. One thing I decided tho this time I will not move until He moves me. I have done that out of my flesh in the past and it never works...
 

NayborBear

Banned Serpent Seed Heresy
#27
Hi Naybor... yeah, facing that music is very often the forefront of my mind. Unfortunately this job is a really a young mans game, and I will admit I should have made better plans earlier in life or thought this through a little better... but here I am. Fortunately I have an amazing wife who is also my best friend... so she is able to calm me quite well when I am feeling overwhelmed, much more than a bottle could ever do for me (although I do enjoy a glass of Sirah at times!)

And I have had numerous conversations with the Father as you suggest, but so far no answers. One thing I decided tho this time I will not move until He moves me. I have done that out of my flesh in the past and it never works...
If the "strain" is financial? And, although, is not all the stress. It certainly must be some of it. Perhaps the little woman could help out a little bit, and ease some pressure on that front.

I can tell ya with much certainty, that "growing closer with God", and the clientele you must endure? Does NOT mix very well, nor for very long! (pray for longsuffering)

So far, you've been mostly concerned about providing for the family.

What would occur, should this job cause you a nervous breakdown, and you couldn't work at all anywhere?

How much of a strain would that put on yer family? Or savings? Or retirement funds?

Would not a prudent man, at least "consider" working in an environment less stressful, for a longer future, perhaps with less revenues, then keep at your present job, where the "future", by your own admission, is looking bleaker and bleaker, on your physical, and spiritual well being?

Yeah? Most times? We are our own worst enemy, when it comes to life choices. Made quite a few of them myself along the way.
"Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda!" Right? :p

"And he keeps right on a changin', for the better, or the worse,"
"Searchin' for a shrine he's never found."
"Never knowin' if believin', is a blessing, or a curse,"
"Or, if the goin' up is worth the comin' down"
(Kriss Kristofferson-Pilgrim 33)
 

Doodahdad

Junior Member
Jun 8, 2017
28
4
3
#28
"Would not a prudent man, at least "consider" working in an environment less stressful, for a longer future, perhaps with less revenues, then keep at your present job, where the "future", by your own admission, is looking bleaker and bleaker, on your physical, and spiritual well being? "

Yes, absolutely! Which brings me back to my original dilemma in at the beginning of the thread... Certainly, I could take a less stressful position and one that would actually allow me to minister to people without repercussions, but many of those positions come with a greatly reduced salary -- sad to say that this is one of the traps of the car biz, it does not require a great deal of education and the pay is generally very lucrative, depending on when avenue a person chooses -- again poor decision making and foresight on my part...

My wife and I have discussed it several times at length on more than one occasion, and we both agree that waiting on the Lord to move me is the correct decision, while doing what we can do in our power to reduce our debts so that we are not as dependent on the same level of income. And i agree, I am approaching the point in my life where, at some point, I am simply not going to have a choice any longer due to physical limitations... I know it sounds like I have been talking myself in circles, and perhaps I am a little... but as Sola-Leonis pointed out, there is wisdom in a multitude of counselors... in the meantime I know there must be something else out there that I can do as a profession... its just a matter of determining what that is... I guess I just am not certain how to begin searching for it outside of prayer and meditation...
 

TM19782017

Active member
Dec 15, 2018
256
158
43
#29
My opinion:

As the head of the household, you should do what you believe will provide the best chance of happiness for all.
I totally understand you dilemma with being afraid to do something else.
If your desire to have outside approval from the outside world is your goal, then maybe a step back to view the whole picture is in order.

Working in any field that is luxury oriented probably runs into a lot of people who are use to being catered to and with very little delay.
Maybe this job is showing the areas of where you need to work in.....Think of a meter maid who must give tickets to so many people, they must learn to not ever take a challenge to them as a personal challenge. They are only doing their job and if the other person refuses to see the reality of that situation, then the problem lies with them and not the employee.

If you believe that trading money for love (time spent enjoying life together) is a sacrifice that will be appreciated by your family, I do not agree....Memories of vacations and activities together is what stays with me till this day...I had many toys as a kid and they put a temporary smile on my face then but when I look back, I cannot remember 90% of them. The experiences together is what is always available to go back to enjoy.

You seem to work in an industry where the customer is always right motto applies.....Adapting to many kinds of people is a skill that can pay huge dividends in life. If I am at peace, and someone is confronting or disrespectful, I USE to allow myself to go down to their level but, as I have aged, I realize that the ability to take the high road is always better for myself.

Only you can make a choice to stay or go......If you follow someone else's choice and it goes bad, who you gonna blame?

Give it some thought, talk it over with your wife and absolutely speak about all you said in your initial post...Bounce your feelings off her opinion and then let it all marinate and pray for guidance.
 

Doodahdad

Junior Member
Jun 8, 2017
28
4
3
#30
Hi TM19782017 -- thank you, those are great thoughts, and I appreciate your input!!
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
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Tennessee
#31
I have a couple of thoughts about this. I worked for years in construction, and my last job was as a valet at a casino. I would get tired and depressed when I forgot that any work I did was as unto the Lord, in His name and for His glory. When I forgot that rude people were likely lost people, they would wear me down, but when I remembered, I could feel love and compassion for them. I pray that you will find God's peace about your concerns-in His name.
You're a good man. What I do at work is just consider that God is my employer and I am the employee. Yes, the work that you do is unto the Lord. That's how I roll 'em too. I have prayed for rude people too, not all of the time but rather some of the time.
 

tourist

Senior Member
Mar 13, 2014
41,304
16,297
113
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Tennessee
#32
I am in the process of reading this thread but I feel your pain. I am a little older than you but feel that I really don't have a lot of years left for any major career change, besides that I am tired and drained. Glad to have you onboard with us. I have said a little prayer abot your situation. Welcome to CC.
 

Doodahdad

Junior Member
Jun 8, 2017
28
4
3
#33
thank you so much Tourist... I humbly appreciate that!!