Many people pushing the rules for Christian dating, annoy me. They have lived their lives from their 20's to their 40's, having sex before marriage They've been married 2 or 3 times and now want to tell singles to be pure and holy before the LORD by setting up limits to dating, yet they never followed those rules themselves. They tell you to control your drives, drives they never controlled themselves. I've had Christians tell me if I even think of sex I have sinned.....the whole time I'm watching them with a spouse and 3 or 4 kids.
My wife and I have both been married once. We married as virgins. Stay pure sexually.
It is not a sin to think about sex. You can't read parts of the Bible (e.g. the parts saying not to fornicate) without thinking about it. But I wouldn't advise fantasizing about it.
In Matthew 5, if you get out an interlinear, Jesus said that he that looks at a woman ___in order to___ lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. At least in this verse, there is some intention. It is interesting to see the word translated 'lust' there and see a related form in the Greek Septuagint in the ten commandments in 'Thou shalt not covet.' The KJV says in Romans 7 'For I had not known lust if the law had not said 'Thou shalt not covet.'"
Christians should abstain from sex outside of marriage and from looking lustfully on others. That is why we should avoid pornography.
It sounds like you do need a wife. The US, where I live, has a pretty bad marriage/dating culture. Too many people 'fall through the cracks' who didn't get matched up, and a lot of people date with no clear intent to marriage. Many people make themselves undesirable marriage partners, IMO, through fornication and the baggage they accumulate.
I was working in Asia when I met the woman I would marry, so I married a woman from Indonesia. The culture is a lot more marriage oriented. I also noticed, at least in my wife's people-group, if they got too old and weren't married, the family would help them out. That might mean marrying some cousin their culture allowed married to (which occurred in the Bible and is not forbidden by Biblical incest laws and only became taboo in the west in the past few hundred years), but one could get matched up with a cousin of a cousin one isn't related to also.
In Korea or Japan, a pastor might try to suggest and encourage marriage between people. Older college students match younger college students up in Korea, and when children get close to 30 or past it, parents may help matching them up on dates that could quickly lead to marriage with children of other parents in their social network. I went to grad school with a Korean woman whose parents were trying to match her up with the father's boss's son.
I met a man in the US once who was married to a Korean woman. He was probably in his 50's and I think she was in her late 40's. It turns out they had only been married a matter of years. He asked the pastor of her church if she knew anyone who was single who was looking for a husband, and she matched them up.
I haven't noticed this kind of match-making outside of family networks in Indonesia, but the young folks are very marriage-oriented in their dating when compared to the US. I was living there at prime marrying age, and either I started to get a lot of female attention from women in prime marrying age or else my female-attention detector had just started to work.
I have read online from singles in the US who say their churches can be weird and impractical about dating, not taking it as a serious need, discouraging dating within the church or church-related groups.