What are reasons to get married or not?....

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Vidy

Guest
#1
#1
Ok, I am 100% confused, and since I'm trying to seek God and Godly council, I figured I'd ask here. Also, quoting scripture to support your answers is AWESOME, but please try to keep it in context =)


Now, I just had a super confusing conversation with my girlfriend, and I have no idea what to think XD The conversation was probably a little deeper than we need to be, but I don't care lol

Now, a lot of what the conversation had to do with, while we didn't talk about this exactly, was what are GOOD and BAD reasons to get married? I can't really offer any examples, but I can tell you that the "bads" we don't have to worry about are stuff like physical or financial need or something along those lines.

But I >DO< love her and I >AM< committed to her (more than I probably should be)... So the only thing that can really cause me to leave her would be something drastic like cheating, or God telling us it's not meant to be. But if I've already made a commitment like this, would God really make me leave it? She says there's potentially someone better for me out there (I very highly doubt that btw), but even if there is, would it be wrong for me to stay with her and not even consider that chance?

I'm completely confused on everything atm. If anyone can offer clarity, I'd appreciate it a lot =)
 
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glenwood74

Guest
#2
#2
1st Corinthians 7:28
But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, I am trying to spare you the extra problems that come with marriage.

Matthew 19:12
Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made that way by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone who can, accept this statement.

Here we see it in the new testament, but our society places so much importance on getting married that these verses are never talked about. I think we idolize marriage too much as something that we NEED to make our lives complete, or at least I know that I did.
 
V

Vidy

Guest
#3
#3
Whether or not I'm going to get married is not an option. I'm pretty certain I'm going to get married ~_o I'm just confused about what to do when I'm set on marriage, and am relatively set on a certain person, but they're not entirely sure if they're going to get married at ALL, or they will get married, just not with me. It's a really complicated fear of God-inspired rejection I guess lol. What do I do about it? 0_o
 
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glenwood74

Guest
#4
#4
You've got to place all of your trust and faith in Jesus Christ. You need to focus your attentions on being in God's will, then when/if you are married, you will have a completely blessed union knowing that it was sanctified in the will of God. I would spend much time in prayer to Jesus over the union that you seek and ask Him to bless it if it be His will. I hope that Jesus blesses you and her and that you will both come into the Father's will!
 
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imoss

Banned
#5
Feb 27, 2007
3,179
19
0
#5
some women speak around issues to try to get to the bottom of their guys feelings. Is this the case here? Its so hard to know whats going on in just a few sentences. Did she reject a marriage proposal & tell you theres someone better for you out there? If thats the case is there any chance she's hanging out killing time with you & waiting for mr. right? my gf was with her wonderful bf for 17 years waiting for marriage & being true to him... sitting by the phone waiting while he travelled the world and had alife. he broke up with her & was engaged & married and with a kid in the next 18 months. a real punch in the face for a beautiful devoted girl. YOu KNOW deep down how she feels, maybe she is just against marriage or maybe she's just against marriage to you. sorry if that hurts to hear but if this is your desire to be married and she is against marriage I dont see it working out and you may very well be wasting your time & heart. I very much wanted to marry my 1st bf, he didnt & deep down I knew it. I'd put this in the unanswered prayer thread THANK God for unanswered prayers. Whatever your situation which I can only guess about, pray for the Lord for the answers and if you sense she's not all there with you, she's not. Bless your heart & your future whether its with her or with another.

Also, is she Christian? I would think she'd want to be in Gods will in the relationship if she is.
 
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Vidy

Guest
#6
#6
imoss said:
some women speak around issues to try to get to the bottom of their guys feelings. Is this the case here? Its so hard to know whats going on in just a few sentences. Did she reject a marriage proposal & tell you theres someone better for you out there? If thats the case is there any chance she's hanging out killing time with you & waiting for mr. right? my gf was with her wonderful bf for 17 years waiting for marriage & being true to him... sitting by the phone waiting while he travelled the world and had alife. he broke up with her & was engaged & married and with a kid in the next 18 months. a real punch in the face for a beautiful devoted girl. YOu KNOW deep down how she feels, maybe she is just against marriage or maybe she's just against marriage to you. sorry if that hurts to hear but if this is your desire to be married and she is against marriage I dont see it working out and you may very well be wasting your time & heart. I very much wanted to marry my 1st bf, he didnt & deep down I knew it. I'd put this in the unanswered prayer thread THANK God for unanswered prayers. Whatever your situation which I can only guess about, pray for the Lord for the answers and if you sense she's not all there with you, she's not. Bless your heart & your future whether its with her or with another.

Also, is she Christian? I would think she'd want to be in Gods will in the relationship if she is.
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No, nothing that horrible. I mean, she's 15 and I'm 17. We're young, and it just came up in conversation. It's just that I don't want to be in a relationship for so many years if we're just supposed to cut it off.. For what reason? Only God knows. I mean, if we're having a good, fine relationship, would God just tell us to end it? I mean, it's still a few years before marriage is even an option, and she also wants to get married on day I think, but...

Yeah, I forgot my original question to begin with XD I dunno what I wanna know, all I know is that I'm confused lol
 
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imoss

Banned
#7
Feb 27, 2007
3,179
19
0
#7
Oh dear, I dont know why I thought you were in your 20's or why I envisioned that you lived together. My misuderstanding. You guys are very young. The man I prayed I would marry I was dating at 16. The man I married I dated at 22. In that 6 years I changed alot & think most people do. I think seek the Lord, joy your youth, abstain from sex and focus on your education. I know such a "mom" post, but its true. God bless you young man & sorry for the misunderstanding.
 
V

Vidy

Guest
#8
#8
imoss said:
Oh dear, I dont know why I thought you were in your 20's or why I envisioned that you lived together. My misuderstanding. You guys are very young. The man I prayed I would marry I was dating at 16. The man I married I dated at 22. In that 6 years I changed alot & think most people do. I think seek the Lord, joy your youth, abstain from sex and focus on your education. I know such a "mom" post, but its true. God bless you young man & sorry for the misunderstanding.
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Don't worry about it =) I actually don't have much to worry about, because I'm border-genius and schooling is SOOOO easy. And I hear college is better, because even though there's a little more work, you WANT to do it. Plus, you go less days =P And yeah, stayin away from sex, so no worries


What I personally believe is that the age honestly shouldn't matter THAT much. Are you saying that the change we go through from 15 to 25 is new?? Until the past century, marriage was in the mid-teens, and I personally think society's views on stuff like that is a bunch of bull =P I'm committed to her no matter how she changes, and it's a scary vulnerable place when they don't have the same commitment back =S She loves me and WANTS to eventually, but she's not ready to make any decisions like that, which is perfectly understandable.

But I'm saying that pretty much the ONLY thing that would keep me from losing that commitment would probably be God telling us that we aren't supposed to be together... But would he do that if everything's going fine!??
 
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BellaFlor

Guest
#9
#9
First thought I got is if your girlfriend maybe struggles with low self esteem? Since she says there has to be someone better for you out there? I am now married, and I still struggle with low self esteem, and sometimes I can even think I am not good enough for my husband, though God truly showed us from even before we became a couple that we are meant for being together. So my low self esteem is just some of my own struggle, not about God having someone elses for us.

It is possible that young couples are meant being together, and I do have heard about some cases where couples that found each others in a much young age also married some years later. I beleive one have to ask God and trust Him about such things, and also tell Him about your feelings, also the ones you have for your girlfriend, to be telling God everything you have in your heart.

The author of the book "Women, God's Secret Weapon", he said that at a age of 13 he asked God to reveal for him who he would marry because he didn't liked the thought of dating a bunch of girls first before meeting her, and God showed him his future wife on a picture(and the same he did to his future wife). They both waited for each others many years before even meeting each others yet, and when they met, well, then I am sure there were a natural "click" between them too. ;) So God can even show things like this to young people, as long as they have the right focuse. Wisdom hasn't always with age to do, even a child can be greater abounded in God's Wisdom than a grown up. It has a lot of where you choose to look and where you choose to go, if you choose either our world's view, or if you choose God's. It is about where and who you want to have your faith based on/from. :)
 
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