What are some things (issues) that broke up a past relationship?

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GreenNnice

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Let's just be honest, make someone understand why maybe their last relationship didn't work.

But, miladies ( sure, your my Christ sis', but, if you don't mind, I like 'miladies) , and, Christ bros., I just hope you can

kill us all softly :D

So Yeah what did YOU say to them that broke up the relationship (kindly word it, some of us got green feelings, you know :D ) .

Or, sigh, maybe he/she said something to you that made your little, sooo beautiful heart crumble like bleu cheese rubbed into a salad, or, something like that :D
 
In december 2011 I went with some friends to round table pizza and i notice this Girl my friends brought we connected eyes I remember the glow she had and i just knew there was somthing about her I ended up saying a prayer before eating and I remember her grabbing my hand very tighty tords the end of the prayer we connected very well and became good friends after that we started hanging out all the time for a good 6 months no sex no kissing no nothing just a hug good bye we used to share alot of beautiful spiritual moments together would pray all the time then one day we were watching a movie together and all of a sudden we had this moment where we looked in eachothers eyes and commited adultry but a month before that we both have shared that we were in love with each other and had never felt like the way we felt with each other and it was amazing we loved God and just felt strong with each other we felt like a team kepted each other accountable supported each other and was just amazing we prayed to God to see if we should take it to the enxt level of commitment and God said WAIT!!!! so we stopped haning and talking to each other so after 2 weeks we started talking andhanging out with each other again and from there thats when we did the WRONG so after commiting adultry everything went down hill from there we became bf and gf and started having a sexual relationship we stop praying together because it was just not the same weeks later I started noticing she was becoming very controlling and very manipulateive and very mean I ended up shutting down and didnt know how to talk to her any more soon after 2 months of hell we decided to take a 30 day break no contact ended up meeting after 30 days and just ended it there she said she saw no future with me and didnt even see me being her friend have not have a coversation with her ever since and that was 7 months ago 3 months after that I was so very confused very HURT and really believed that God wanted us to spend the rest of our life together but God Did show me a comfort and a Light at the end of the tunnel after going threw that dark time which got me threw the darkness and finally letting her go! there was a night that we prayed and just had an awesome night together and we felt God telling us we were going to be in each others life for a very long time so I used to ? about that alls I got to say that it was an amazing experience that turned bad and It taught me so much and made me so much stronger and showed me What God can do with a man and woman following God together and just loving each other If you do it right!
 
My last relationship didn't work because he wasn't a christian. At first I wanted it to work so bad because I wanted a boyfriend but I realized after a while the struggle in my heart was God trying to tell me something. Me and him just had completely different views on things! The only other one before that was kinda an odd case, he randomly lost interest in me. I never saw him (this was back in high school), or talked to him, it was like he dissapeared. So sadly I had to break it off over the phone. But my friend a couple years later dated the same guy and he did the same thing, it was weired. We both think it had to do with his mom. She was very over protective and we think she didn't like him dating older girls!
 
Honesty It seems like i tend too be honest and guys arent very honest. Like I been called overblunt and honestly its good too be like this but most guys arent and if they where no one would get hurt. Just be forward be honest don't drag someone with u and hurt them at end. That and diff beliefs like this one guy told me at end after we where already like looking at stuff for marriage and all we had plans and all he said he didnt beleive in marriage and when someone doesn't even believe in it for me means they never did its like why lie too your parner and tell them you wanna get married and have kids and blah blah when u really don't believe nonsense. Its like at the end its hurtful painufull but its better now to leave person then too get married or move in which i don't believe in and be miserable. It was a sign everything that happened for me to open my eyes and realize it wasn't gods well
 
- distance
- when I found out he had a live-in gf, I didn't think she and I would get along :)
- guys who think you can train a woman like you train a dog :)
- his bad temper
- his control issues
 
lol.. When i saw the title of this thread, i thought *This has to be a thread from Julliana*..lol.. And then i saw GreenNnice..*face palm* :D :D
 
This feels like a healing thread :P. My first relationship, I have tried assigning blame. It doesn't work, because if you are truly in love, little things shouldn't matter- you should be able to get past them and work on the issues, right? Well, here's what happened: he called me around one AM one night, and said he needed to vent. He rarely did so, so it was a big moment for him. I was in pain because he was, and I became desperate to make him feel better- I said the wrong thing, and tried to make it better right away- then tried to fix it a week later. We talked through it, I apologized and almost broke down crying. And then a few weeks later, he sat me down and said we'd be better off as friends, after a year and four months going out. He lied about the reason, maybe to spare my feelings, and said the "love faded"- when asked later if it was about that night at one AM, he said that this was a huge part of it. Apparently there were also little things that he has never told me, but eh- how can I know what he's thinking if he doesn't say it? Same with me sometimes- I once took a month to tell him that his jokes about depression were too much, and that I was offended by them as someone who wants to be a counselor or therapist.

So communication was a big issue. Then I realized little reasons why it wouldn't have worked- the biggest being that I was more into my faith than he was and felt uncomfortable talking about it to him. Gosh, was so blinded that I didn't realize what was going on. He also hated all of my favorite music, and I kinda disliked most of his as well... but hey, it was the best year+ of my life, in that God led him to me when I was emotionally broken- my father had just died of cancer, and I didn't know what to do or who to turn to. God has shown me now the type of person that I need, and I shall be especially picky, wait for Him to let the right man step in!
 
He was in love with a girl who was going through a divorce......
Now they are together. He just "tolerated" me until she became single. :(
that is why I have trust issues with guys.
 
My first relationship was more like infatuation, we only liked each other for three months, and then he got jealous that I was spending more time with one of my cousins who was going through a breakup of his own. The guy didn't know that we were just cousins, and my cousin kissed my cheek to thank me for my help. He blew up at me, and told me he never wanted to see me again, never wanted to even hear my name again, and if I dropped dead, he'd laugh. That hurt me terribly, I didn't get over it until seven months later.
Second relationship hurt me so badly, that some guy in my future is going to have a hard time getting that close to me.
I loved him, I was honest with him, I would've died for him. I wanted every happiness for him. And I thought he felt the same way. We were going to be married as soon as I turned eighteen. Everyone thought he was a good guy.
But he was dishonest, disrespectful, disloyal, and irresponsible.
Instead of helping me grow, he tore me down. I'd cry myself to sleep every night, and I didn't know it at the time, but it was because I didn't have God with me anymore.
It took the guy blaming everything (the lies, the disrespect, etc.) on me, to get people to realize that he wasn't who ANYONE thought he was. He wasn't who I needed him to be. My parents broke us up. We're friends now, but it's still awkward between us.
When my mom told me that she was sorry this had to happen to me, she was sorry that I had to have another tormenting heartbreak. I told her I wasn't upset about breaking up with the guy. I was upset because I "broke up" wit God. Even if it hurt terribly that the guy wasn't who I thought he was.
I have trust issues with everyone now.
 
The fact that he wasn't a Christian.. Shoulda seen that a long time before. I dated the person for 4 years and nearly got enaged to them all while having sex and still claiming to be a christian. Now thats what I call delusion, and I know a lot of women still do it and its insane.

God bought multiple persons in my life to rebuke what I was doing, but I was very blind and listening to stupid ideas from the Enemy and I pushed those people away in hate, then God literally stepped in and lovingly hit me in the face with a fish and I 'woke up' and realised what I was doing.
 
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Side note, I accidently bumped into my ex at the grocery store a few months ago and he gave me a hug and thanked me and we talked about our families and what we were up to. I was so happy to find out he was doing well and had moved on well from me and had achieved some huge goals. Friendliest break up ever lol.
He was a wonderful person to have known and I hold myself completely accountable for both of our sin since he wasn't a believer and therefore can't be held responsible for it. My only regret was that by sinning with this lovely guy, I potentially ruined any witnessing to him decent christian living and behavior. I often pray that a christian man would become friends with him and do a better job than I did.
 
joshua1990 said:
In december 2011 I went with some friends to round table pizza and i notice this Girl my friends brought we connected eyes I remember the glow she had and i just knew there was somthing about her I ended up saying a prayer before eating and I remember her grabbing my hand very tighty tords the end of the prayer we connected very well and became good friends after that we started hanging out all the time for a good 6 months no sex no kissing no nothing just a hug good bye we used to share alot of beautiful spiritual moments together would pray all the time then one day we were watching a movie together and all of a sudden we had this moment where we looked in eachothers eyes and commited adultry but a month before that we both have shared that we were in love with each other and had never felt like the way we felt with each other and it was amazing we loved God and just felt strong with each other we felt like a team kepted each other accountable supported each other and was just amazing we prayed to God to see if we should take it to the enxt level of commitment and God said WAIT!!!! so we stopped haning and talking to each other so after 2 weeks we started talking andhanging out with each other again and from there thats when we did the WRONG so after commiting adultry everything went down hill from there we became bf and gf and started having a sexual relationship we stop praying together because it was just not the same weeks later I started noticing she was becoming very controlling and very manipulateive and very mean I ended up shutting down and didnt know how to talk to her any more soon after 2 months of hell we decided to take a 30 day break no contact ended up meeting after 30 days and just ended it there she said she saw no future with me and didnt even see me being her friend have not have a coversation with her ever since and that was 7 months ago 3 months after that I was so very confused very HURT and really believed that God wanted us to spend the rest of our life together but God Did show me a comfort and a Light at the end of the tunnel after going threw that dark time which got me threw the darkness and finally letting her go! there was a night that we prayed and just had an awesome night together and we felt God telling us we were going to be in each others life for a very long time so I used to ? about that alls I got to say that it was an amazing experience that turned bad and It taught me so much and made me so much stronger and showed me What God can do with a man and woman following God together and just loving each other If you do it right!
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God will bless you, Josh, for your being transparent.

My best advice after reading what you went through with girl liked a lot: Let the Lord lead your relationship from the start, ground it in church , know she worships like you, at least I think denomination is important, to a certain extent, anyway. My mom was raised catholic, met my dad, a nazarene, and, things were fine as mom switched denominations, but then problems developed in their marriage when I was 15 and mom.began going back to her roots of catholic church and it helped break dad's spirit. A split for good at my 17th birthday time .
Also, Josh, IF you can, try to keep your friendship and relationship with Godly accountability by never sleeping at her place, or vice versa, and, don't put her in compromising situations. Remember, you lead the relationship, let the Lord lead you, follow :)

God bless your next serious relationship, that I pray comes when YOU are ready from Him. Like you did b4, pray and listening to God after is key, God will never let you go when He is leading you and He will never let you be in temptation more than your personal self can endure, this is scripture from new testament , but where my green. brains not sure at the moment , collossians maybe ? Anyway, best from God to you,, blessings, Christ bro.
 
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A) Greed/selfishness

B) Desire to assume a parental role during our marriage (control issue), which I promptly brought to screaming screeching halt. By my not agreeing to her control it created resentment issues, my response was, if ya wanna be in control, buy a dog.

C) Development of a serious gambling problem that costed me over 40 thousand dollars.

D) when asked about further gambling problems, was lied to and gambling debt's where covered up. When I did find out about it, it was too late.

E) She dumped me in 2009 and remarried a man involved in the gambling life style, otherwise I believe we would still be married.

Other than those few problems I just listed, I would say it was a good marriage. We lasted 23 years. We have a great Son together.
Upon us first dating and getting married, we were both Christian. She chose a different path then I did.

God Bless her and I hope that she regains her footing. She is a wonderful Woman and I wish her the best.
 
CC_Bride said:
The fact that he wasn't a Christian.. Shoulda seen that a long time before. I dated the person for 4 years and nearly got enaged to them all while having sex and still claiming to be a christian. Now thats what I call delusion, and I know a lot of women still do it and its insane.

God bought multiple persons in my life to rebuke what I was doing, but I was very blind and listening to stupid ideas from the Enemy and I pushed those people away in hate, then God literally stepped in and lovingly hit me in the face with a fish and I 'woke up' and realised what I was doing.
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Was it ludefisk, CC :D
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Seriously, don't worry a bit about all that last, God took care of it all, blessed you with a great man of God , and, your growing-up history, abusive stepdad etc, it is awesome how YOU chose God when you got hit with the fish :)
 
Nalu said:
A) Greed/selfishness

B) Desire to assume a parental role during our marriage (control issue), which I promptly brought to screaming screeching halt. By my not agreeing to her control it created resentment issues, my response was, if ya wanna be in control, buy a dog.

C) Development of a serious gambling problem that costed me over 40 thousand dollars.

D) when asked about further gambling problems, was lied to and gambling debt's where covered up. When I did find out about it, it was too late.

E) She dumped me in 2009 and remarried a man involved in the gambling life style, otherwise I believe we would still be married.

Other than those few problems I just listed, I would say it was a good marriage. We lasted 23 years. We have a great Son together.
Upon us first dating and getting married, we were both Christian. She chose a different path then I did.

God Bless her and I hope that she regains her footing. She is a wonderful Woman and I wish her the best.
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God bless you, cupofnalu, the Lord leads, I can telo from what you said and things said in bible study forum you are a willing strong man of God and I don't know what but what you been through will be graced with God getting you to your next great step for His glory. And blessings will come to you.
Bless you, Christ bro, keep being an accountably faithful servant to Him for your him (son) youvare blessed with having in life :)
 
GreenNnice said:
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God will bless you, Josh, for your being transparent.

My best advice after reading what you went through with girl liked a lot: Let the Lord lead your relationship from the start, ground it in church , know she worships like you, at least I think denomination is important, to a certain extent, anyway. My mom was raised catholic, met my dad, a nazarene, and, things were fine as mom switched denominations, but then problems developed in their marriage when I was 15 and mom.began going back to her roots of catholic church and it helped break dad's spirit. A split for good at my 17th birthday time .
Also, Josh, IF you can, try to keep your friendship and relationship with Godly accountability by never sleeping at her place, or vice versa, and, don't put her in compromising situations. Remember, you lead the relationship, let the Lord lead you, follow :)

God bless your next serious relationship, that I pray comes when YOU are ready from Him. Like you did b4, pray and listening to God after is key, God will never let you go when He is leading you and He will never let you be in temptation more than your personal self can endure, this is scripture from new testament , but where my green. brains not sure at the moment , collossians maybe ? Anyway, best from God to you,, blessings, Christ bro.
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Blessings to you brother!!! That was a blessing to read!!!
 
GreenNnice said:
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God bless you, cupofnalu, the Lord leads, I can telo from what you said and things said in bible study forum you are a willing strong man of God and I don't know what but what you been through will be graced with God getting you to your next great step for His glory. And blessings will come to you.
Bless you, Christ bro, keep being an accountably faithful servant to Him for your him (son) youvare blessed with having in life :)
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Thank you so much Brother. God bless you.
 
preschoolteacher24 said:
Honesty It seems like i tend too be honest and guys arent very honest. Like I been called overblunt and honestly its good too be like this but most guys arent and if they where no one would get hurt.
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Not true at ALL!!!! I'm the most brutally honest person in the world, or at least one of them. I tell every girl I ever meet that up front. I seriously do my best to never, ever lie about any situation. You date the wrong guys, period. Actually, being too honest is sometimes a bad thing, because women don't want to hear honesty, they want to hear a lie that sounds like it's honest. Anyway, I look at it like this: Don't go fishing for compliments if certain things aren't there, because I'll tell you. Then again, when I do give compliments (and I do them very well), they mean so much more, since the girl knows I'm being honest about it. I don't even call it compliments anymore, since I'm just saying my honest opinion.

Anyway, not all guys lie. In my experience, I've met women that are truly bigger liars, cheaters, and basically evil than any guys I know. Most guys, if you are really looking, are at least honest with who they are. If they are the bad boy type, they will tell you that. You can see that just by looking at them. The same goes for the nice guys, or whatever that person may be. Women, on the other hand, like to pretend to be innocent, when they are very far from it! I've had better experiences with the "bad girl" types than the good ones, since at least the bad girls are being honest with who they are haha.

Basically, it comes down to the fact that EVERY single person on this planet right now is selfish. Nobody escapes from it. There comes a realization where you have to learn that if you are going to give everything to your significant other, and you are going to give them all of your heart, you cannot expect to get it back. That's the simple truth of it. In almost every relationship, there is always one person, at any given time, that is giving the other one far more than they are receiving. That's just the truth. I'm sure people will argue and complain about this, but I've yet to ever see anything different. Married couples are the same way. If everyone got equally what they gave into a relationship, no one would divorce, break up, or even fight with each other. It comes down to valuing yourself, knowing exactly what the other person is willing and able to give, and giving them only the amount you are comfortable with giving, based on what you will get in return.

Also, 90% of relationships end because of the woman. 90% of divorces are initiated by women as well. Women usually control everything on that aspect, and also, men are blindsided by it, while women are already moving on. The reason is mainly based on (in my opinion) the idea that women KNOW when they want to break up with a guy two months before they do it, and they use those last two months as their closure/healing/recovery time, basically doing it while still dating the other person. Then they break up, and they are ready to move on to the next guy. The guy, on the other hand, is usually not so perceptive to this, and they know something is wrong, but by the time they ask, the woman is already far gone and says goodbye. That's why it takes the guy two or three months to get over it, while women tend to find boyfriends immediately after breaking up. That's just my opinion though.

Anyway, maybe I'm jaded, since I've had plenty of good/bad/and in-between relationships, and only a few of them ended well. I've broken up with a few myself, but the majority of the time, I look at it as the woman breaks up with me, mainly after she cheats, or does something that I just won't stick around for afterword. If you cheat, you mine as well call it a breakup. Then again, I guess I don't meet very many "good" christian women, so my experiences might be different than the rest of you. It's not that I've not looked, but I certainly have never found one. Lots of people say they are Christian, and they even pretend to go to church sometimes, but they certainly aren't spriritual, they don't read the Bible, they don't pray (well, I'm assuming this, but they could), and basically, they aren't really Christians at all. I'd say at least half of the Christian population in the United States is not a Christian at all.
 
Annyyyywayyy... I think a few unusual reasons I can think of were....

-One girl joined the Peace Corp. She wanted to quit and stay for me, but I told her no. I lied and said I didn't love her, mainly because I didn't want to be the reason she didn't go through with her dreams. She got married afterword though, so I think it worked out okay for her!
-I can think of two girls I've dated who cheated, and I ended it afterword. One girl actually had a boyfriend before she met me, so I was the one she was "cheating" with, but I didn't know it! Needless to say, I didn't stick around after I found out.
-One girl had her best guy "friend" decide to tell her he loves her, about a couple weeks after I started dating her. She couldn't decide, because she didn't know me for very long yet, and she basically said "I've never had one good guy before, and now I have two." Anyway, I chose for her, since if she couldn't figure it out by then, she never would (I left).

Other than that, I guess a lot of times it was just normal reasons. You fight, you break up. The person turns out to be different than you expected. You realize they aren't the right one. Things like that. Opposites definitely attract, but they sure don't stay together! Another reason would be, I've had at least 4 ex's I can think of that wanted to marry me within a couple of months. I definitely want to get married one day and have a family, but I don't want to get divorced, and I'm not about to marry someone within a couple months of knowing them. I think a year is a good minimum, or at LEAST 6 months, and that would have to be extreme circumstances. I do know that those 4 girls all got married almost right after me. I felt like the real life version of that guy in the movie "Good Luck Chuck." Haha
 
GreenNnice said:
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Was it ludefisk, CC :D
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Seriously, don't worry a bit about all that last, God took care of it all, blessed you with a great man of God , and, your growing-up history, abusive stepdad etc, it is awesome how YOU chose God when you got hit with the fish :)
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Thanks Green

I don't necessarily worry about the guy, otherwise the hubby would know (since Im the worlds worst liar, so I don't even bother) and he would feel awkward. Steven (hubby) knows every little detail about my ex and his former involvement in my life. But I tend to think long term, and as much as I trust in the love Jesus has for me, but I often wonder if I ruined it for him re meeting Jesus.
 
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