C
What do you think a healthy relationship is?
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Good question. I often ponder this very subject.
Well, let's start by defining terms:
good
ɡo͝od/
adjective
- 1.
to be desired or approved of.
"we live at peace with each other, which is good"
- 2.
having the qualities required for a particular role.
"the schools here are good"
noun
- 1.
that which is morally right; righteousness.
"a mysterious balance of good and evil"
- 2.
benefit or advantage to someone or something.
"he convinces his father to use his genius for the good of mankind"
re·la·tion·ship
rəˈlāSH(ə)nˌSHip/
noun
1
- the way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. "the study will assess the relationship between unemployment and political attitudes"
- the state of being connected by blood or marriage.
"they can trace their relationship to a common ancestor"
- the way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other. "the landlord–tenant relationship"
- the state of being connected by blood or marriage.
So...thinking about it logically from multiple standpoints in our definitions:
A 'good relationship' would be a mutually desired or approved of connection or state of being between two things (people in our case) possessing the qualities for a particular role that is both righteous and advantageous (of mutual benefit) in the way those two things regard and behave toward each other.
~Now, you used the word 'healthy', so :
Simple Definition of healthy
: having good health : not sick or injured
: showing good health
: good for your health
Full Definition of healthy
health·i·erhealth·i·est
: enjoying health and vigor of body, mind, or spirit : well
: evincing health <a healthy complexion>
: conducive to health <walk three miles every day … a beastly bore, but healthy — G. S. Patton>
a : prosperous, flourishing
b : not small or feeble : considerable
So...then by replacing terms:
A 'healthy relationship' is a state of being or connection between two things (in our case, people) that is not sick or injured, conducive to the vigor of body, mind, and/or spirit, and prosperous or flourishing in strength as opposed to being small or feeble.
Thus, based on these definitions and terms, one can surmise that a "good and healthy relationship" would be the culmination of our statements for both a 'good relationship' and a 'healthy relationship'.
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mrdesire
Guest
There's fifty healthy things, one hundred unhealthy things and fifty and one redundancies that will make you defenceless if you misuse people.
I have the list if you ever need it.
I just posted John 3:18 on Facebook this morning as it was part of my morning devtions about seving others. And, of course, in a loving, healthy relationship, we should serve one another.
Uhm.....this response definitely struck a cord with my logical, linear thinking side. (my emotional side needs a good dose of this every once in awhile.) 
According to me, a healthy relationship is one in which we -
1) Don't share food
2) Don't share the same email ID, FB account or any account for that matter
3) Know each other's passwords, but rarely use them and never out of suspicion
4) Are prayermates and swolemates
5) Travel together
6) Know each other's goofy side, wild side, crazy side, angry side and "I'm a serious cat" side
7) Can poke fun at each other and still laugh together
8) Can talk all sorts of things and still not find it repulsive
9) Can have a heated argument and still cool down to resolve things like adults
10) Do not let the distance or the timezone difference affect our feelings towards each other
1) Don't share food
2) Don't share the same email ID, FB account or any account for that matter
3) Know each other's passwords, but rarely use them and never out of suspicion
4) Are prayermates and swolemates
5) Travel together
6) Know each other's goofy side, wild side, crazy side, angry side and "I'm a serious cat" side
7) Can poke fun at each other and still laugh together
8) Can talk all sorts of things and still not find it repulsive
9) Can have a heated argument and still cool down to resolve things like adults
10) Do not let the distance or the timezone difference affect our feelings towards each other
Healthy relationship means
1. You feel safe with this person because you trust him
2. You become a better person because you feel good about yourself when you are with him.
3. You can completely be yourself and not be someone you are not when you are with him.
4. You are focused on what you can give to the relationship more than what you can get.
5. If God is the center of the relationship, it is definitely healthy.
1. You feel safe with this person because you trust him
2. You become a better person because you feel good about yourself when you are with him.
3. You can completely be yourself and not be someone you are not when you are with him.
4. You are focused on what you can give to the relationship more than what you can get.
5. If God is the center of the relationship, it is definitely healthy.
C
coby
Guest
A healthy relationship is when you're both sick and dysfunctional and get healed up through the Lord and each other.
Found this thread from back in 2013 that has a really good list applicable to this current thread. I have bumped the other thread back to current status....but here is a copy of the list here to add to this thread.
[h=2]50 Positive Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship[/h]
[h=2]50 Positive Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship[/h]
Many of us question what is or if we are in a healthy relationship. Here are some great questions to ask yourselves if you question the authentic healthy dynamic of that special connection.
~RL~
50 Positive Characteristics of Healthy Relationships.
1. You can name your partner’s best friend and state a positive quality that person has.
2. You and your partner are playful with each other.
3. You think your partner has good ideas.
4. You’d like to become more like your partner in some ways.
5. Even when you disagree, you can acknowledge your partner makes sensible points.
6. You think about each other when you’re not physically together.
7. You see your partner as trustworthy.
8. In relationship-relevant areas (such as warmth and attractiveness), you view your partner a little bit more positively than s/he views themselves or how most other people view your partner.
9. You enjoy the ways your partner has changed and grown since you met.
10. Your partner is enthusiastic when something “goes right” for you.
11. (If applicable) When you reunite at the end of the day, you say something positive before you say something negative.
12. You reminisce about positive experiences you had together in the past (e.g., fun vacations).
13. You can name one of your partner’s favorite books.
14. You know what your partner’s aspirations in life are.
15. You can recall something you did together that was new and challenging for both of you.
16. You kiss everyday.
17. You’re comfortable telling your partner about things that make you feel vulnerable (such as if you’re worried about getting laid off).
18. You have your own “love language” e.g., pet names or special signs you give each other (such as the Obamas’ fist bump).
19. You know what your partner’s most embarrassing moment from childhood was.
20. You know what your partner’s proudest moment from childhood was.
21. You never or very rarely express contempt for your partner - roll your eyes, cuss at them, call them crazy etc.
22. You can list some positive personality qualities your partner inherited from their parents.
23. (If you have children together) You can list some positive personality qualties your partner has passed on to your children.
24. You enjoy supporting your partner’s exploration of their personal goals and dreams, even when this involves you staying home.
25. You have a sense of security. You’re confident your partner wouldn’t cheat or do something to jeopardize your combined financial security.
26. When you argue, you have a sense that your partner cares about your feelings and opinions.
27. Your partner lets you into their inner emotional world. They make their thoughts and feelings accessible to you.
28. You frequently express appreciation for each other.
29. You frequently express admiration for each other.
30. You feel a sense of being teammates with your partner.
31. You know your partner’s favorite song.
32. You have a sense that your individual strengths complement each other.
33. (If applicable) When you say goodbye in the mornings, it’s mindful and affectionate.
34. If you’ve told your partner about any trauma you’ve experienced, they’ve reacted kindly.
35. You don’t flat out refuse to talk about topics that are important to your partner.
36. You respect your partner’s other relationships (with family, friends etc) and view them as important.
37. You have fun together.
38. You see your partner’s flaws and weaknesses in specific ways rather than general ways (e.g., you get annoyed about them forgetting to pick up the towels but you don’t generally see them as unreliable or inconsiderate).
39. You’re receptive to being influenced by your partner - you’ll try their suggestions.
40. You're physically affectionate with each other.
41. You enjoy spending time together.
42. You feel a zing when you think about how you first met.
43. You can name your partner's favorite relative.
44. You can name your partner's most beloved childhood pet.
45. You can articulate what your partner sees as the recipe for happiness.
46. When you feel stressed or upset, you turn toward your partner for comfort rather than turning away from your partner and trying to deal with it yourself.
47. You have a sense that it's easy to get your partner's attention if you've got something important to say.
48. You like exploring your partner's body.
49. You can name your partner's favorite food.
50. If you could only take one person to a deserted island, you'd take your partner.
~RL~
50 Positive Characteristics of Healthy Relationships.
1. You can name your partner’s best friend and state a positive quality that person has.
2. You and your partner are playful with each other.
3. You think your partner has good ideas.
4. You’d like to become more like your partner in some ways.
5. Even when you disagree, you can acknowledge your partner makes sensible points.
6. You think about each other when you’re not physically together.
7. You see your partner as trustworthy.
8. In relationship-relevant areas (such as warmth and attractiveness), you view your partner a little bit more positively than s/he views themselves or how most other people view your partner.
9. You enjoy the ways your partner has changed and grown since you met.
10. Your partner is enthusiastic when something “goes right” for you.
11. (If applicable) When you reunite at the end of the day, you say something positive before you say something negative.
12. You reminisce about positive experiences you had together in the past (e.g., fun vacations).
13. You can name one of your partner’s favorite books.
14. You know what your partner’s aspirations in life are.
15. You can recall something you did together that was new and challenging for both of you.
16. You kiss everyday.
17. You’re comfortable telling your partner about things that make you feel vulnerable (such as if you’re worried about getting laid off).
18. You have your own “love language” e.g., pet names or special signs you give each other (such as the Obamas’ fist bump).
19. You know what your partner’s most embarrassing moment from childhood was.
20. You know what your partner’s proudest moment from childhood was.
21. You never or very rarely express contempt for your partner - roll your eyes, cuss at them, call them crazy etc.
22. You can list some positive personality qualities your partner inherited from their parents.
23. (If you have children together) You can list some positive personality qualties your partner has passed on to your children.
24. You enjoy supporting your partner’s exploration of their personal goals and dreams, even when this involves you staying home.
25. You have a sense of security. You’re confident your partner wouldn’t cheat or do something to jeopardize your combined financial security.
26. When you argue, you have a sense that your partner cares about your feelings and opinions.
27. Your partner lets you into their inner emotional world. They make their thoughts and feelings accessible to you.
28. You frequently express appreciation for each other.
29. You frequently express admiration for each other.
30. You feel a sense of being teammates with your partner.
31. You know your partner’s favorite song.
32. You have a sense that your individual strengths complement each other.
33. (If applicable) When you say goodbye in the mornings, it’s mindful and affectionate.
34. If you’ve told your partner about any trauma you’ve experienced, they’ve reacted kindly.
35. You don’t flat out refuse to talk about topics that are important to your partner.
36. You respect your partner’s other relationships (with family, friends etc) and view them as important.
37. You have fun together.
38. You see your partner’s flaws and weaknesses in specific ways rather than general ways (e.g., you get annoyed about them forgetting to pick up the towels but you don’t generally see them as unreliable or inconsiderate).
39. You’re receptive to being influenced by your partner - you’ll try their suggestions.
40. You're physically affectionate with each other.
41. You enjoy spending time together.
42. You feel a zing when you think about how you first met.
43. You can name your partner's favorite relative.
44. You can name your partner's most beloved childhood pet.
45. You can articulate what your partner sees as the recipe for happiness.
46. When you feel stressed or upset, you turn toward your partner for comfort rather than turning away from your partner and trying to deal with it yourself.
47. You have a sense that it's easy to get your partner's attention if you've got something important to say.
48. You like exploring your partner's body.
49. You can name your partner's favorite food.
50. If you could only take one person to a deserted island, you'd take your partner.
C
coby
Guest
C
coby
Guest
That whole list. It sounds slimy. Do this, do that, tiresome and people always look for someone who is healthy and almost perfect so all will be easy. The best marriages I know were totally dysfunctional but the people got healed and sharpened like iron and they gave their life for the other.
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I appreciate your honesty.
I can appreciate both points of view.
I do not think things have to be once certain way for a relationship to work. It is the uniqueness of the individuals, and what they bring to the table that makes the relationship work, for them.
I do not view the list as a *do this*, *do that*, I just found it a very enlightening list that can cause discussion and growth.
Thanks for shareing your thoughts. Blessings!
I can appreciate both points of view.
I do not think things have to be once certain way for a relationship to work. It is the uniqueness of the individuals, and what they bring to the table that makes the relationship work, for them.
I do not view the list as a *do this*, *do that*, I just found it a very enlightening list that can cause discussion and growth.
Thanks for shareing your thoughts.
Blessings!
C
coby
Guest
Yes everyone is different.
I think the most important thing is that you both have the same goal and are not focused on each other but getting the harvest in and pray. My marriage started to collapse once we stopped praying every morning and it was all about me me me.
I think the most important thing is that you both have the same goal and are not focused on each other but getting the harvest in and pray. My marriage started to collapse once we stopped praying every morning and it was all about me me me.
C
coby
Guest
There is a guy on another forum. His wife was raped a few times and never wanted sex for 20 years and she was very unfriendly to him, but he just laid down his life for her and eventually she said sorry. It's easy with 2 healthy people to have a healthy relationship, but I wonder how many would have just dumped her. That's real love.
B
Bryan-3208
Guest
i completely agree with everything you wrote. The very words you used I have personally experienced and live and preach to others and myself if I ever meet someone again. God bless you.
Bryan
1. Try to see in person the mystery of the image of God, wonderful.
2. I seems that there is no purpose. What is the purpose to breathe. Just live. What are the relationships? For life.
3. A healthy relationship is, when people are good to yourself. Unhealthy relationships when you're moved by feelings and emotions.
Something like this.
2. I seems that there is no purpose. What is the purpose to breathe. Just live. What are the relationships? For life.
3. A healthy relationship is, when people are good to yourself. Unhealthy relationships when you're moved by feelings and emotions.
Something like this.
C
coby
Guest
According to me, a healthy relationship is one in which we -
1) Don't share food
2) Don't share the same email ID, FB account or any account for that matter
3) Know each other's passwords, but rarely use them and never out of suspicion
4) Are prayermates and swolemates
5) Travel together
6) Know each other's goofy side, wild side, crazy side, angry side and "I'm a serious cat" side
7) Can poke fun at each other and still laugh together
8) Can talk all sorts of things and still not find it repulsive
9) Can have a heated argument and still cool down to resolve things like adults
10) Do not let the distance or the timezone difference affect our feelings towards each other
Don't share food?
.........
L