I have a passion for people. Specifically, for people who are hurting (which, really, is almost everyone). Even more specifically, for the Lakota Sioux Native Americans on the Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota. My heart is there. I think that's a tie that will never be broken. The "why" part is a story that I will not get into here (way too long and not what the OP is asking for), but they are a people group that I'm extremely passionate about. But, in general, my heart is very soft towards those who are hurting.
I fiercely love. I'm reserved about my feelings with people in general, but with children, I just abandon myself in order to love them. For example, on the reservation where I worked, the kids were usually dirty. They hadn't been bathed in days. I didn't care. I hugged them and played with them anyway. I was holding a little girl who should have been potty trained but due to the nature of families there, she was not. She wet herself while I was holding her in my lap. I didn't care. I kept my arms around her. I didn't throw her off and yell "Ew, child get to the bathroom!" I held another little boy and let him play with my camera. He dropped it and it broke. I didn't get mad. He had his fun and my camera wasn't that great anyway. I let some girls play with my hair and just clenched my teeth when they yanked a little too hard. A little boy who didn't want to let go of my hand. Hearing their laughter, which is so very precious. Making some very rough teen girls genuinely smile. Just some examples. My heart swells just talking about those kids.
A few pictures. The first has been my profile picture and is in my gallery here and is probably my favorite picture ever, literally.
I want to do all that I can to help someone. To make them smile, even if it's for just a moment. To make them feel understood; heard; seen. To show them what unconditional love is. I don't care what you've done. You are more than your mistakes. A dear friend to me that I just met this year was terrified to tell me her story. She thought it would change how I saw her, despite my repeated "Trust me, it won't. I love you so nothing will change how I view you." She told me. It changed nothing. I saw her just the same as before, only now I understood her more. She tells me that has meant the world to her, that I didn't just brush it off, but that I knew it and it didn't taint our friendship. I want people to help people see that. To see themselves the way I see them, the way Christ sees them: precious and valued. Those are two of my favorite words. I long for people to feel that way, to know that they are not a waste, they are worth more than what the world tells them, worth more than how they're treated by others, worth more than what they think of themselves.
I am kind, patient, understanding. Probably the least judgmental person you'll meet, almost to a fault. I'm a dichotomy of trusting too easily and finding it hard to trust. If you have my trust, you HAVE it. I will protect, guard, and love until my dying breath if you have me.
I sing (
click here for a video, though I feel that my voice sounds different/better [not to sound vain] in real life, less "low-quality-camera-y"). I may not be the next American Idol, but I just adore singing. I'm shy about it, in front of live people. It's different on YouTube because I sing for a camera, but am a bit shyer in real life. I want to be able to sing for my husband. To him and for him. I love music. I recently drove 6 hours (one way) to visit people and listened to music and sang the entire way (probably not the best thing for my vocal chords, to sing that much
). It's a great way for me to express myself. Nothing calms me like singing. Nothing gets my emotions flowing like music. I thank God, seriously, for blessing the world with music, and my heart gets excited when I think about getting to heaven and singing for Him and WITH Him! AH!!
Wow, I made this way longer than I intended. Even if no one reads it all, it's been great to put it down. Lately I've been...feeling a bit lost. Many things have happened in the past few years, that left me feeling...many things. This has helped me see and feel in my heart what I know is true of me.
I think -> I can be sooo boring to one person -> and so great to another person. I think its all about the other person-how do they see me and what do they see in me!? 