What is blasphemy against the holy spirit ?

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Just recently Ive been struggling with my life.I have had to deal with alot of mental issues.I get theses bad thoughts that are not of god.All of this stuff just adds up and makes me feel like what if I'm not made to live for god.Its a really scary thing.So just the other day I was really angry with myself and just with life in general because things haven't been going my way.While I was really mad in my head to myself I was saying why go to heaven ? maybe some of us are just made to go to hell.Anyways after that I feel like i Blasphemed against the holy spirit out of anger.I didn't say anything out loud.I said it all in my head.So I have heard and I think it says it in the bible that blasphemy is the only sin that wont be forgiven so my question is am excluded from heaven ? or is my salvation gone ? does god not care about me ? I'm really not a bad person Ive tried my best.But i just cant seem to escape from whatever this is.So if anyone would kind enough to reply to my questions that would be great.
 
its not something that can be forced upon you it is to TURN completely from Christ as your real final choice churches lie about these things for they established according to the vain principles of earths kingdoms Christ ays some one cannot truly speak bad of Him and sincere good with all their heart that a heart for Him is a heart for Him even if He is somehow spoken against. "they" have tried to force me to,but it does REALLY mean the REAL rejection of Christ from which at some point ,so many time , the heart does not come back
 
I think many of us wonder if we have committed that one unforgiveable sin in our lives. I wouldn’t worry about it. Just make sure you don’t do it.

John told us this:

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16 RSV
 
Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is unforgivable! You should never try to iblaspheme the Holy Spirit. If you just think it, you probably didn't do it. It is also called evil speaking! It's best to believe your forgiven by the Cross of Jesus!
 
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