What is the funniest joke you've heard from a relative or friend?(keep it clean as po

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recently we have some friends over for supper and the husband told us this joke =

'how can you tell a rich man from a poor man?

well, a rich man has a beautiful canopy above his bed,
and a poor man has a canofpee under his bed...
 
This is a very old joke, but I"m guessing "new" to some: In Minnesota in 1972, the drought was soooo bad... (How bad was it?) It was so bad, Catholics baptized with Holy Water, Baptists sprinkled, and Lutherans handed out rain checks. HEE HEE HEE.
 
When a man marries a women he never wants her to change,but when a woman marries a man she has remodeling in mind,but after 50yrs
nobody wins!
 
I'm a dyslectic so I thougth the thread said "what is the funkiest job you've heard of from a relative or friend?

...and I've never had a funky job...lol.
 
Susanna said:
I'm a dyslectic so I thougth the thread said "what is the funkiest job you've heard of from a relative or friend?

...and I've never had a funky job...lol.
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focus them eyes dere boy then you can tell spam from ham,and jam from ram,ain't too hard just read what them there orange juice boxes say"C O N C E N T R A T E" and you'll be knowing words from other words in no time boy howdy,(no idea why I said things this way,just one of those silly times I guess...lol)
 
God created man and said, "This is good.... but I can do better...." and God created woman.
 
JoDel said:
God created man and said, "This is good.... but I can do better...." and God created woman.
Click to expand...
Garden of Eden

Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely...

So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion and that it would be a woman.

He said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you! She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

"An arm and a leg."

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Of course the rest is history.....!!

;)
 
I'm surprised someone brought back this thread of mine from june,oh well,since it's back,I'll try telling another funny...
I tried this gag on my uncle recently,we were headed to Wal-Mart and every once in awhile I get silly and ask a random relative "so where we going"? but with him he actually sincerely said"I don't know where are we going?" and so I reminded him we were headed to Wal-Mart,after leaving Wal-Mart we were on the way home and I thought I'd try the line again saying"so where we going" ? this time he said"you're trying to confuse me again,maybe I'll drop you off right here",we both had a good laugh!
 
A man walks into the bar with a frog on his head. He sits down at the bar and orders a drink. After staring at him for a minute or two the barman points and asks: "And this?"

The frog replies: "Well, it started as a wart on my butt..."
 
Yeraza_Bats said:
A friend and I like to make jokes together often. Sometimes we like to sing popular songs and change the lyrics to absolute nonsense. The latest one was the Spice Girls' song "if you wanna be my lover". We sang-

If you wanna be my lover
you gotta get with my bins
bins are made of plastic
I like plastic bins

We seem to have a thing for just repeating the same fact over and over again in different ways : p thats not the only one, haha. We also did one for that one song that says "people are strange, when they are strangers" or whatever (I dunno who did the song), and we sang-

Strangers are strange
cuz they are strangers
strangers are strangers
cuz they are strange

Im pretty sure that no one would appreciate these other than ourselves, though : p
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I LOVE that! YOU guys you friend and you YOure made the team i ll pick you I love it A+ do share some more

I gotta practice yours is just funny give some time on this thread and ill made some more up hopefully more funny >

This is the song taht never begins
some people couldnt start it
like turning a car on my friends

some people didnt want lamp chops
dont repeat it again
this is the song that never begins
 
@ yerazza bats

And I could-nt walk 500 miles
and im not walking 500 miles
500 miles maybe my grandparents could of did
but I will walk 1 mile as i have done before as Im one of those 80s kids

catch the bus yo
yes the bus yo
catchthe bus yo
public transport
 
me and my friend rapped hip hop for a the childrens church message we put our hoods up and ended in folding our arms
LOL
 
I know soo many jokes.. way too many but imma share one

Two blondes fall into a hole so one says ''its dark in here" and the other one replies " i dont know. I cannot see anything"
 
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