What makes a marriage last?

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Depleted said:
​Quitting smoking is like planning on fasting and knowing you plan to fast for the rest of your life. The second I started fasting I immediately started thinking about food. It became a will of holding on just a little longer. Now, imagine not eating for four and a half days. That's my record for quit smoking.

Now add onto that eating nothing but addictive foods. Not, "boy, I would like some more potato chips" addictive foods, but foods that cause a change in your emotions and physical body. (The nicotine has changed me at the molecular level. It doesn't get undone.) I have absolutely no idea why we don't have rehab centers for smoking. It's as hard to give up as heroin. Heroin addicts say it's harder, because at least heroin withdraw only last a week or two. And the withdraw symptoms do come crashing down on us. Not like heroin levels, but sleeplessness, wired out, like I'm on a low voltage current 24/7, and my fuse shortens to the point of wondering if there even is a fuse.

We can't go out for dinner and then relax after the meal. We can't go to stay in a hotel. At this point we can't even smoke at work or a sports game -- anywhere. Not even outside. We stink, we annoy others to the point that we're called disgusting. Money is tight, but we need to buy the nicotine. Of course we don't want to be like this anymore.

But we also don't want to kill our spouse in a fit of nicotine withdrawal rage. And it is very much like giving up food. A lot of time is spent with the ritual and we have no idea what to do with ourselves without it. Four and a half days just wondering how to avoid the next minute, and then realizing this feeling last the rest of my life. It sucks! It's not a statement saying, "We love ourselves more than you." It's stuck and it sucks.
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I get that it is terribly hard to stop smoking but I HATE CIGARETTES and they represent DEATH to me... I found my mother-(age 42) dead at the age of 8 years old. Why did she die? Well she had a massive heart attack, that she had been warned about visiting her doctor and him telling her Rachel if you don't stop your life style of drinking and smoking you will not live to raise your daughter. She didn't listen to his advice - lucky me at 8... One Uncle had a lung burst from having emphysema a terrible way to die again from smoking. My brother dead at 39 from smoking. My dad died from lung cancer having smoked from the age of 12 he was 56.

So I have fear of again losing someone I love to cigarettes and the smoking of them... I pray and pray he will have the desire to stop and allow God to help him conquer this demon because to me that is what they represent evil, death and loss.

Sorry to derail the thread please carry on with making marriage last and STOP SMOKING with God's help....Hugs & prayers to all fighting this addictive habit....
 
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JesusLives said:
I get that it is terribly hard to stop smoking but I HATE CIGARETTES and they represent DEATH to me... I found my mother-(age 42) dead at the age of 8 years old. Why did she die? Well she had a massive heart attack, that she had been warned about visiting her doctor and him telling her Rachel if you don't stop your life style of drinking and smoking you will not live to raise your daughter. She didn't listen to his advice - lucky me at 8... One Uncle had a lung burst from having emphysema a terrible way to die again from smoking. My brother dead at 39 from smoking. My dad died from lung cancer having smoked from the age of 12 he was 56.

So I have fear of again losing someone I love to cigarettes and the smoking of them... I pray and pray he will have the desire to stop and allow God to help him conquer this demon because to me that is what they represent evil, death and loss.

Sorry to derail the thread please carry on with making marriage last and STOP SMOKING with God's help....Hugs & prayers to all fighting this addictive habit....
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No probs, I can relate. I also hate cigarettes with passion. My mother died from lung cancer. My father also have a heart and lung disease because of smoking.
 
Me too Tinkerbell!

Smoking took my father-in-law way too early. He had cancer of the lungs. :(

My husband and I felt cheated, not only did we not have a loving dad for very long, but my children didn't get to enjoy their grandpa for very long either.

My husband and I both smoked, but we quit right away when Jesus came into our life. I'm so grateful to our Lord for having us do that!
 
Desertsrose said:
Me too Tinkerbell!

Smoking took my father-in-law way too early. He had cancer of the lungs. :(

My husband and I felt cheated, not only did we not have a loving dad for very long, but my children didn't get to enjoy their grandpa for very long either.

My husband and I both smoked, but we quit right away when Jesus came into our life. I'm so grateful to our Lord for having us do that!
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Wow! Glory be to God. I am always happy to hear success stories about quitting smoking. How did you do it? How long has it been since you the last time you smoked?
 
JesusLives said:
I get that it is terribly hard to stop smoking but I HATE CIGARETTES and they represent DEATH to me... I found my mother-(age 42) dead at the age of 8 years old. Why did she die? Well she had a massive heart attack, that she had been warned about visiting her doctor and him telling her Rachel if you don't stop your life style of drinking and smoking you will not live to raise your daughter. She didn't listen to his advice - lucky me at 8... One Uncle had a lung burst from having emphysema a terrible way to die again from smoking. My brother dead at 39 from smoking. My dad died from lung cancer having smoked from the age of 12 he was 56.

So I have fear of again losing someone I love to cigarettes and the smoking of them... I pray and pray he will have the desire to stop and allow God to help him conquer this demon because to me that is what they represent evil, death and loss.

Sorry to derail the thread please carry on with making marriage last and STOP SMOKING with God's help....Hugs & prayers to all fighting this addictive habit....
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I'm cool with you nagging him. Just don't grow to hate him.
 
JesusLives said:
Him never....the cigarettes I hate already....but that was so even before I met him....lol
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================================================
wow, were you ever blessed in this area...I started smoking and 13, and I know it was because I was
a nervous wreck - I won't fill in, just believe it was about as bad as it could be and started as an infant...

anyway, and I give Jesus all the praise and glory, after He had saved me from the demons that I lived
with, He decided not to allow me to die by mere cigs...I smoked for 10 more years - and after I had
my first child, one day I was going up some stairs and I couldn't get my breath, i was totally amazed
and that day threw them in the garbage...and I was what you would call a REAL SMOKER, before
going to bed, when I first got up, with coffee, before and after meals, with every drink,,,etc...
yes, very sad and pitiful, especially for one so young...Jesus has broken me of many bad habits that
I acquired after that, but He has, for His own reasons brought me to the point of no longer wanting
to hurt or abuse myself or those who love me, especially Him and my Husband...
my gratefulness can never be expressed in words, only by actions through the Love
that He has for me and for you...
 
Tinkerbell725 said:
Wow! Glory be to God. I am always happy to hear success stories about quitting smoking. How did you do it? How long has it been since you the last time you smoked?
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Lets see, we were born-again on December 19th, 1979. So almost 37 years without smoking. \o/ praising the Lord!
 
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oldethennew said:
================================================
wow, were you ever blessed in this area...I started smoking and 13, and I know it was because I was
a nervous wreck - I won't fill in, just believe it was about as bad as it could be and started as an infant...

anyway, and I give Jesus all the praise and glory, after He had saved me from the demons that I lived
with, He decided not to allow me to die by mere cigs...I smoked for 10 more years - and after I had
my first child, one day I was going up some stairs and I couldn't get my breath, i was totally amazed
and that day threw them in the garbage...and I was what you would call a REAL SMOKER, before
going to bed, when I first got up, with coffee, before and after meals, with every drink,,,etc...
yes, very sad and pitiful, especially for one so young...Jesus has broken me of many bad habits that
I acquired after that, but He has, for His own reasons brought me to the point of no longer wanting
to hurt or abuse myself or those who love me, especially Him and my Husband...
my gratefulness can never be expressed in words, only by actions through the Love
that He has for me and for you...
Click to expand...

I was that age also, but I did it because my mom smoked and all my older siblings did too. Plus I had a sister 1 year older than I am and she influenced me. But it was really the peer pressure from friends as well.

I'm sorry you suffered so much at such a young age. What an amazing and Mighty God we serve to bring you out of all of that. I love rejoicing with you/others when you/they share how God has worked in their life. I praise Him and thank Him for your life!


 
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