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Hmmm... I think for me personally it is the following:
- Marrying outside of God's will.
- One of us becoming "bored" with the other./ Her changing her mind and becoming disloyal.
- Secrecy/ Trustworthiness (Not telling each other everything).
- Inadequacy as a husband; Not being able to provide her the amount of earthly love and support that she needs, causing her to leave or do something drastic.
That last point (inadequacy) and second point (loyalty) are what I am most anxious about, as I have a fairly stoic/concrete personality (ISTJ). That is to say, I am not good with words nor am I good with spontaneity. I am very strategic and schedule oriented! I express my "love" through my actions, and commitment means everything.
- Marrying outside of God's will.
- One of us becoming "bored" with the other./ Her changing her mind and becoming disloyal.
- Secrecy/ Trustworthiness (Not telling each other everything).
- Inadequacy as a husband; Not being able to provide her the amount of earthly love and support that she needs, causing her to leave or do something drastic.
That last point (inadequacy) and second point (loyalty) are what I am most anxious about, as I have a fairly stoic/concrete personality (ISTJ). That is to say, I am not good with words nor am I good with spontaneity. I am very strategic and schedule oriented! I express my "love" through my actions, and commitment means everything.
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Ugly
Guest
I know this will sound weird, but i worry my wife will eventually want me dead. I've heard a number of stories of women who tried to have their husbands killed. And its not always because of money. (and no, they were not abused women either). People are crazy sometimes.
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Relena7
Guest
It doesn't sound weird. There are certain subtle signs and red flags you can watch for to make sure you aren't getting involved with an abuser or dangerous person. There are many psychology articles and books about this stuff out there.
And if ya take things extra slow you'll get to know the real them long before it's too late anyway.
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah
Guest
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NodMyHeadLikeYeah
Guest
Exactly
"Helen? You look like a Helen. Helen, let me tell you why I suck as a salesman..."
Haha! Is it a bad thing I could probably quote that whole movie?? I haven't seen it in SOOO long!
Anyways... I shan't allow myself to derail this thread! Carry on!
I'm really only scared of being left by my future husband. Not sure where that comes from though... But now after reading everyone's answers I'm scared of so much more!! aahhhh!!
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kayem77
Guest
Marriage is not in my near future I think, but it's 3am here and something like this was on my mind today.
I've realized that the Lord has plans for me and that I have or I am developing gifts for him. The godly plan of marriage comes perfectly into my mind now, I am willing to be a wife and support my husband, love him and respect him with all my heart because I want him to develop and use his gifts for the Kingdom. I don't want to mess up with his calling at all. What I fear is that I marry the wrong man, that I choose my way instead of God's way, and that I end up with someone who doesn't move me to use my gifts as well, someone who would just see me as a wife and mother and only that.
I'm not saying that I don't want those roles, I sincerely do and I think they are really beautiful roles, what I'm saying is that it would scare me for him to only see me as that, and ignore the role as a servant of God that is behind 'em, ignore that I am someone who wants to grow up spiritually, someone who wants to use her gifts to the maximum potential, depending on what my calling would be on that moment. Someone who challenges me! I think that's it! I'm afraid that I marry someone who doesn't really really understand me and then I regret making the choice later. I guess I worry about that because I've seen the horror of a pasionless, routinary life around me and I've decided that I dont' want it.
I've realized that the Lord has plans for me and that I have or I am developing gifts for him. The godly plan of marriage comes perfectly into my mind now, I am willing to be a wife and support my husband, love him and respect him with all my heart because I want him to develop and use his gifts for the Kingdom. I don't want to mess up with his calling at all. What I fear is that I marry the wrong man, that I choose my way instead of God's way, and that I end up with someone who doesn't move me to use my gifts as well, someone who would just see me as a wife and mother and only that.
I'm not saying that I don't want those roles, I sincerely do and I think they are really beautiful roles, what I'm saying is that it would scare me for him to only see me as that, and ignore the role as a servant of God that is behind 'em, ignore that I am someone who wants to grow up spiritually, someone who wants to use her gifts to the maximum potential, depending on what my calling would be on that moment. Someone who challenges me! I think that's it! I'm afraid that I marry someone who doesn't really really understand me and then I regret making the choice later. I guess I worry about that because I've seen the horror of a pasionless, routinary life around me and I've decided that I dont' want it.
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koalabear
Guest
Marriage is a responsibility. I am not in a rush to get married. I do not want to neglect that special lady that says yes to marrying me LOL seriously
Also, why do some, not all, young women seek romantic relationships only and not friendship with the opposite sex??
Also, why do some, not all, young women seek romantic relationships only and not friendship with the opposite sex??
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jimsun
Guest
I was scared that the woman to be my wife might support Newcastle United Football Club - our bitter rivals!
But my concerns were unfounded - as a German, she prefers Bayern Munchen!
Apart from that any worries are replaced by a hard-edged, determination to be the most loving, caring & committed husband possible.
J.
But my concerns were unfounded - as a German, she prefers Bayern Munchen!
Apart from that any worries are replaced by a hard-edged, determination to be the most loving, caring & committed husband possible.
J.
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perdonato
Guest
----
Awesome, Perdy, and, not JUST awesome, but God-awesome. You are modeling you life after Him, awesome.
----Yes, worldlover, and, the way to avoid an unplanned marriage is to plan your life, DAILY, with thoughts that emanate from your mind naturally of Him .
Verse I will add: Do not be conformed to the world and wordly things but be transformed DAILY by the renewing of your mind.
Sin--we all have, and, i will add do sin ALL THE TIME in our lives-- and immediately go to God in prayer for mercy, and, He will forgive us , always, forgetting to what we did.
His mercies are new every morning.
Mmm.. I think I failed to come to this thread for quite some time. Actually, I made an active choice because I know it keeps getting posts. But... I'm glad I decided to refresh it today and read this from you, GreenNnice. I think it was much needed.
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JamesofLinHood
Guest
As someone who is getting married next August, my biggest fear at this point is simply being able to afford the wedding! 
Honestly, I don't have a lot of fears about our marriage besides financial ones. But I know that God has blessed our relationship so we'll get through those things.
Honestly, I don't have a lot of fears about our marriage besides financial ones. But I know that God has blessed our relationship so we'll get through those things.
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Liz01
Guest
that scares me most is that even if i may have a bad life with my husband i must stay with him (i guess divorce is not on bible)
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Crossfire
Guest
The males in my family have a track record of marrying very domineering females who must have their own way no matter what. You would not believe some of the crazy behavior that I have both witnessed and heard about. Of course, my brothers claim that they didn't realize it before they got married but I saw it coming long before they married. I guess love truly is blind. *lol*
Anyways, my biggest fear is to marry someone who is completely self centered and self serving rather than someone who is God serving and self less. I believe that it really doesn't matter how different two people really are, if they willing to put God first, the spouse and family second, placing themselves last then the marriage will withstand the test of time.
While I don't have a great deal to offer as far as material wealth is concerned, my future wife can be rest assured that I will always put her needs before my own. I pray that she feels the same way thus neither of us will ever feel alone or neglected.
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KiwiCA
Guest
Hate to tell you mate, you will fail multiple times. The saving grace to that piece of nasty news is that God is there for you. He will raise you up as a leader, fill you with the Holy Spirit and enable you (when you fail) to repent and sort it out.
Your wife, being a Christian woman will be aware of this sin issue in herself and so when you sin, she shouldn't surprised and should pray and support you through it as you would do the same for her.
There you go!
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gardenbunny
Guest
NodMyHeadLikeYeah you totally remind me of my cousin!
The thing that scares me about marriage is finding something out about each other that we didn't know about before we got married.
One of his ex-girlfriends or girl-friends from his past coming back into his life and him thinking he missed out on something "better."
Doing something that will disappoint him so much that it makes divorce that easy option when divorce shouldn't even be an option.
Abuse.
These are all the reasons I haven't gotten married yet.
I actually just met a guy who is a cowboy AND a fire fighter(which is something I've always wanted), my only hang up is that he is 3 1/2 years younger than me. For some reason I've always had a hang up about dating younger guys. But this guy is so fun to be around. I'm hoping I can get past that one. He seems like a nice guy.
The thing that scares me about marriage is finding something out about each other that we didn't know about before we got married.
One of his ex-girlfriends or girl-friends from his past coming back into his life and him thinking he missed out on something "better."
Doing something that will disappoint him so much that it makes divorce that easy option when divorce shouldn't even be an option.
Abuse.
These are all the reasons I haven't gotten married yet.
I actually just met a guy who is a cowboy AND a fire fighter(which is something I've always wanted), my only hang up is that he is 3 1/2 years younger than me. For some reason I've always had a hang up about dating younger guys. But this guy is so fun to be around. I'm hoping I can get past that one. He seems like a nice guy.
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Shine4Jesus
Guest
Growing older and dying way after my husband does. Disagreement does not scare me as much as this, because most marital problem can be resolve if you are willing to work them out.
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mae
Guest
it's good to choose a born again christian man rather than the unbelievers..and let Jesus christ is the center of your life..