What to do?

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I have a husband who is a fabulous father. He's a wonderful person overall. But he doesn't pay a bit of attention to me. He doesn't hear what I say or even notice what I do. I've brought this up to him numerous times over 11 years, but he always says he is happy, what is the problem? I don't believe in divorce, but am actually contemplating it. Both of my parents have had 3 marriages each, so I want mine to work. I don't want to hurt the kids, but where do you draw the line between being selfish and suffering through it for the kids? There is nothing horrible going on....it's just that nothing is there. I don't want to leave, because we have a happy seeming life. Has anyone been in this situation and maybe have some advice?
 
ASK said:
I have a husband who is a fabulous father. He's a wonderful person overall. But he doesn't pay a bit of attention to me. He doesn't hear what I say or even notice what I do. I've brought this up to him numerous times over 11 years, but he always says he is happy, what is the problem? I don't believe in divorce, but am actually contemplating it. Both of my parents have had 3 marriages each, so I want mine to work. I don't want to hurt the kids, but where do you draw the line between being selfish and suffering through it for the kids? There is nothing horrible going on....it's just that nothing is there. I don't want to leave, because we have a happy seeming life. Has anyone been in this situation and maybe have some advice?
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Pray for strength and guidance for your situation from Yahvah God and Yahshua the Messiah.

Does he ignore you, or do you think he ignores you?

Sometimes we can want too much from our spouse, sometimes they show us love in different ways from what we expect.


He may not be the best communicator yet makes up by being a "fabulous father"

Remember that none of us are perfect, and if you give up then you may learn the hard way that life is give and take and appreciate the person without wanting them to be exactly what we expect....

You could find a man that is not a "fabulous father" but very attentive to his spouse....
 
My husband does not say much but he does things things his own way, eg, he'll take you to a nice place that you like to eat, willing to spend his money on clothes you like, etc. Have to admit nearly left him this year , but God spared me from doing that and now realised a different side to him that has opened my mind. Look openly and see if he does things to appreciate you rather than seek attention and make sure you have a hobby that you enjoy doing, even part time work. If there are kids, I'm afraid you will feel more neglected because you will then think why am I always looking after them . it never ends and if you have had parents who neglect you, you will always feel an emotional void that stems from them , not him. That is what I learnt this year. I pray for you and your family. x
 
ASK said:
There is nothing horrible going on....it's just that nothing is there. I don't want to leave, because we have a happy seeming life. Has anyone been in this situation and maybe have some advice?
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Bless your home! I too have been married for 11 years and we have three beautiful children. Because of work, kids, general busyness, there are times when my wife will explain to me that I haven't been overly attentive to her lately. These times always sting a little because I have to realize that I have failed my wife. Quite often these times coincide with something she is going through, perhaps at her work or with the kids, etc. And the shoe has been on the other foot as well.

First of all, Christ stands above any broken marriages from your parents and they do not hold destructive power over you. If you even entertain the idea of divorce, then you are sinning in your heart and mind. We all do it...but looking at that is "retreat" and you need to "gear up" for battle. Be aware and repent.

Can you initiate the type of behavior you would like to see your husband giving to you and model it for him? Or...what about a heart-filled letter, written in love, that will communicate your heart's desires? Be sure to censor out frustration, anger, etc., so as not to elicit an unwanted response. Let your letter communicate your longing for your husband's love and affection....and really bear your soul to him. And definitely cover your letter in your heart's prayers for the blessed marriage God desires for you both!
 
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