I can relate to you completely. I was 18 when I first believed in Christ. I didn't know anything except that once I was lost but now I am saved. But I knew I had found a gold mine in Christ and wanted to know more. I was a seeker. I bounced around from one church to another, looking for someone to teach me the way. I went to hear many different and famous christian ministers and writers. I read their books, I heard them on the radio, I went to their lectures when they were in town. I soon discovered that there were a lot of different and contradictory ideas and opinions about what the Bible taught. After about three years of this sort of thing I finally came upon a truly great minister. His ministry focused on in depth and systematic teaching of the Word of God. He was brilliant, insightful, an expert in the original languages of scripture, and he could teach! I had finally found a home where I could learn and grow up spiritually. His congregation got a better education than a seminary could give.
My advice to you is to find such a minister. Someone who is qualified to teach and from whom you can learn. There is no one pastor for everyone. You have to find the right fit. Pray about it and begin your search. God knows you are seeking His face. We grow close to God by learning the word of God. You can not love someone you do not know. The growth process takes time, but make a beginning! Be a faithful student (disciple) of the Word of God. Learn, believe, apply. God bless you as He has me.