When married people step over the line

[violakat]

It really bothers me when married/separated (STILL married) guys flirt with me, even “christians” have done it...
How do you react when a married person flirts with you, online or otherwise?

I try to stop it. Sometimes, I have to let men know that I'm uncomfortable with said flirtation, especially since they are married.

The women who flirted with me were happily married, and I wasn't close friends with any of them. They were all co-workers.

Zero, I'm not sure what the statistics are, but I'm pretty sure a large portion of affairs begin with "innocent" office flirtations.

 

[Jullianna]

^^^^^^^^^I agree with that violakat. Sometimes people are just kidding. Sometimes they are testing the waters.

 

[Diana25]

I'm an old fashioned kind of guy so normally I just throw stones at them and yell "Adulterer adulterer!!".

Seriously, it's a very uncomfortable situation. I would tend to avoid the person, if possible. If not, and it kept up I'd just have to be more direct with them and tell them I'm not comfortable with them flirting with me. Online, I just don't respond to any private messages if I know that's the situation they're in. I'm not going to fill any kind of void, etc. there.
I am usually not comfortable spending time alone with anyone who is in a relationship, whether married or not (that certainly includes people who are separated).

I also would NEVER even come close to flirting with another woman if I was in a relationship. I don't care who sees it as "innocent" or "just fun" or whatever. To me, it would be incredibly disrespectful to the woman I was with. I would expect her to be the same as me on that one. If not, don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you.


Amen. So true.

Totally agree with you on that! It's bad enough when a guy/girl flirts with someone other than their partner when in a relationship but...when you're married it's totally out of line; and in my humble opinion, not harmless at all!

Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

If all it takes is a 'look' (or a thought) to commit adultery...isn't flirting taking that 'thought' one step further into action?

But to answer the original question...

When a married guy flirts with me...I just tell them straight out "I'm sorry but what you just said is highly inappropriate for someone who is married, and it makes me feel uncomfortable...please don't say it again"

The only reason married people flirt is because they get away with it! The more we collectively resist it...the less it will happen. Maybe?

 

[Jullianna]

niceguyj, can I just say how greatly I appreciate it when you slice through all of the crap (can I say crap on CC?) with simplicity, depth and humor in one blow.

Nice rock, David May I borrow your slingshot sometime?

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

It has happened to me a few times. I always feel incredibly uncomfortable. I even feel uncomfortable just being alone with them if we're around the same age. The marriage bed should be kept pure, and I would never want someone in a shady-looking situation with MY wife.

Seriously?? You feel uncomfortable being alone with a married person around your own age... What you think there gonna be over come with lust and attack you!

I think some people are far to paranoid about this sort of thing.

P.s. Green i apologize for my hardline comment here

 

[Stratocaster]

Seriously?? You feel uncomfortable being alone with a married person around your own age... What you think there gonna be over come with lust and attack you!

I think some people are far to paranoid about this sort of thing.

P.s. Green i apologize for my hardline comment here

Okay 1. It's a legitimate concern 2. Don't criticize me, you don't even know me 3. WHO ARE YOU? Seriously. This is how I handle my walk with God and you jump in knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. If your only purpose is to tear down and destroy, then you seriously need to rethink your life. It's pathetic.

 

[Ritter]

*Peers over sandbags with an American military helmet circa WWII.

Is the shelling over yet?

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Okay 1. It's a legitimate concern 2. Don't criticize me, you don't even know me 3. WHO ARE YOU? Seriously. This is how I handle my walk with God and you jump in knowing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. If your only purpose is to tear down and destroy, then you seriously need to rethink your life. It's pathetic.

Your a very sensitive one arent you. I can tell cause you started numbering things
Fiiiiine, I guess we'll do it your way then.

1) Yes, indeed its a grave concern. I can hardly sleep at night over it.
2) I do know you, It would only be embarassing for you though if i said how i knew you.
3) My name is Holly, AND I like TO USE caps to EMPHASIZE THINGS TO.
4) Truly i can see your walk with God is flourishing
5) Define pathetic

Have no fear Ritter, the shelling is over.......or maybe its just begun!!!! :0
another thing im gonna loose sleep over tonight!!

Goodbye

 

[Jullianna]

My apologies, Stratocaster. If you would like me to request that this thread be closed, please let me know. God bless.

 

[niceguyJ]

Yeah, totally off topic, but I'm picturing a set of stockades outside niceguyJ's house.

Haha

Totally agree with you on that! It's bad enough when a guy/girl flirts with someone other than their partner when in a relationship but...when you're married it's totally out of line; and in my humble opinion, not harmless at all!

Matthew 5:28
But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

If all it takes is a 'look' (or a thought) to commit adultery...isn't flirting taking that 'thought' one step further into action?

But to answer the original question...

When a married guy flirts with me...I just tell them straight out "I'm sorry but what you just said is highly inappropriate for someone who is married, and it makes me feel uncomfortable...please don't say it again"

The only reason married people flirt is because they get away with it! The more we collectively resist it...the less it will happen. Maybe?

You go girl.
Whether resisting it changes them or not, at least you know you're doing the right thing by discouraging it.

niceguyj, can I just say how greatly I appreciate it when you slice through all of the crap (can I say crap on CC?) with simplicity, depth and humor in one blow.

Nice rock, David May I borrow your slingshot sometime?

Thanks.
If you can't say "crap" there's always the old KJV standy, "dung".

LOL

 

[Jullianna]

I used dung yesterday in another thread I'm onna roll

 

[Jullianna]

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! I just hit 4000 totally worthless posts!

 

[NodMyHeadLikeYeah]

Using the word dung in a post is NEVER worthless!! How could you even say such a thing?!

 

[juliet84]

It really bothers me when married/separated (STILL married) guys flirt with me, even “christians” have done it...
How do you react when a married person flirts with you, online or otherwise?

Ignorance is a bliss .....I would ignore, and they would think that Im not friendly. Case closed. ^.^

 

[niceguyJ]

haha. Congrats on both of those accomplishments!

 

[shirley]

this is my opinion on the matter at hand i had friend on here who broke my heart married or not this person was out of state all i was asking for was friendship and someone to tlk to yes i went over the line a couple of times and iwas open enough to tell him i was married but it was not working out he couldve backed out of the friendship a long time ago but instead he choose to hurt me instead i always ways said to him to hold me accountable if i go to far did he no guys aernt innocent either how do we define friendship well this is my take on it a friend is their throgh good times and bad someone who understands your hurts not selfish and not lie to that person i came from a abusive relationship i talk to god everyday and sometimes i want to give up on everything ive been used n abused by friends i love people i respect the friends i have only god can judge if you dont want that friendship then just tell me dont lie

 

[zeroturbulence]

Zero, I'm not sure what the statistics are, but I'm pretty sure a large portion of affairs begin with "innocent" office flirtations.

So you're saying that there's still hope for me?? YES!!!!!

 

[zeroturbulence]

Hey Nod, if you go, I go! And if I go...umm..everyone turns into a pumpkin!

 

[zeroturbulence]

this is my opinion on the matter at hand i had friend on here who broke my heart married or not this person was out of state all i was asking for was friendship and someone to tlk to yes i went over the line a couple of times and iwas open enough to tell him i was married but it was not working out he couldve backed out of the friendship a long time ago but instead he choose to hurt me instead i always ways said to him to hold me accountable if i go to far did he no guys aernt innocent either how do we define friendship well this is my take on it a friend is their throgh good times and bad someone who understands your hurts not selfish and not lie to that person i came from a abusive relationship i talk to god everyday and sometimes i want to give up on everything ive been used n abused by friends i love people i respect the friends i have only god can judge if you dont want that friendship then just tell me dont lie

thats one crazy long sentence.

 

[Jullianna]

Using the word dung in a post is NEVER worthless!! How could you even say such a thing?!

It's gonna be my new catch phrase