Where do you draw the line on physical contact for singles?

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Jullianna

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(Okay folks, this seems to be the question everyone wants to answer, but no one wants to make the thread, right? J Here it is. As usual, I want to ponder my own answer before posting.)

Answer away, but PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THERE’S NO REASON TO BE UGLY ABOUT IT, RIGHT? PLEASE have your say and respect the rights of others to have theirs without smacking one another around. J

QUESTION: When it comes to physical contact before marriage, what is acceptable and what is not? How far is TOO far?
 
*plops down beside Zero and grabs a handful of his popcorn* Better buckle up! It's gonna be a bumpy ride ;) Interested in seeing who is bold enough to answer first. :D
 
I think before the physical contact begins you have the discussion on when physical contact begins.......though this isn't the ideal world.

 For me kissing and cuddling is fine, to me that is a very intimate way to be with another person, beyond that is too close to sexual contact, cuddling leads to groping and groping leads too......everybody knows.

So you may think why cuddle?
Before marriage and sex there needs to be some intimacy to grow a relationship to that point, so cuddling is I think neccesary, and this is where the conversation comes in, there needs to be an understanding and strong respect to prevent the cuddling leading to everything else, if a couple can't commit to that level of self control, then they need to go back and have other conversations.

Don't throw popcorn at me :p
 
Jullianna said:
QUESTION: When it comes to physical contact before marriage, what is acceptable and what is not? How far is TOO far?
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Hand holding, hugs and light kisses. :D
All others... should be for the married.

*holds up shield*
 
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There was a great message from the book of Phil. But we can give alot of scriptures but what do we do when alone with that special someone after several weeks of dating? It's late, the movie is over and we have already been kissing for a couple weeks. It seems that as each week goes by we keep getting a little deeper into "it." We must have set boundries well before we get to that point, don't you think?
 
why date then at all, if it can go further then 'kissing' and' hand holding' ??
 
I think, based on past experiences, that any relationship you get into that is based primarily on physical attraction, is a breeding ground for sexual sin. So the best way to give yourself a better defense against sexual sin is for a relationship to be based MOSTLY on your attraction and love for the others personality, their soul if you will. :) Otherwise, with the only-physical-attraction relationship, what happens is, you're together, you don't have so much to talk about, you get bored, you start kissing and we know where that can end. But with a relationship filled with TRUE love, and love of the personality, you can talk for hours without boredom and the need to fill your time with other things.

Sorry that was kind of a tangent. As regards the question how far is too far... I've wondered this myself as someone who has only been back with Christ for about 4 years, and my perception of a relationship is slightly skewed. But I would sayyy, kissing, hand holding, cuddling (important that his should take place during the day and nowhere NEAR a bed, as night+bed/sofa+sleepiness = bed idea), hugs, all ok. Anything else I believe would be too far. If bother people are good Christians it should be made clear at the start of the relationship that it won't go past this point. Also, anything past the things I said were ok lead into the territory of lust, and as your bf/gf is not your husband/wife. this is a sin. If there is true love in the relationship you should be ok. Otherwise, could be trouble.
 
I think I have some issues because I'll set limits in a relationship and somewhere down the line the line becomes fuzzy and goes away. Two major girl friends, both Christians and I lost both of them from God punishing me for being disobedient. I think it's different for different people based on how much self-control they had. With my first girl friend in high school we didn't even hardly touch at all until she suggested we kiss goodbye in my house. And looking back, I think if I would've held my ground and been okay with where I was with her, getting to know her and myself slowly without much physical anything, we would've been much better off. I enjoy myself around beautiful women no matter what, so why not just be okay with who we are as individuals, respecting each other through what we learn without the skewing effect tunnel vision that happens when a relationship is based on physicality. Emotions run high and we don't see clearly to determine if this person is good for marriage. Courtship is a decisions making process where tests should be implemented to see if we qualify for marriage. Of course attraction is apart of that, yet there should be a good level of contentment with who you are individually even as you interact with this other person during courtship. In marriage however one should learn to not be okay without the other in the process of becoming one.

Final prognosis: for me and my girl, hugging and holding hands. then at engagement kissing if I feel I'm strong with self-control enough then
 
Really it comes down to what you have the strength to handle. If you can handle being closer and not feel tempted to go farther, then that's your limit. If you are worried you'll be tempted doing more than holding hands, then that's your limit. Though of course you're better to err on the side of safety rather than erring on the idea of pushing to see how far you can go before its 'too much', because by then it may be too late. But ultimately i think anything beyond cuddling is pretty much crossing straight into lust territory.
 
I have to agree with Ugly. I think it's a different line for different people. I know for myself, if ever I'm in a relationship again, the physical contact will have to be kept to a minimum because it's too easy for me to keep going. But for a friend of mine who recently got married, she isn't tempted the same way that I am, so it was ok for her to kiss her boyfriend (now husband) any time. lol I think that each person is responsible for knowing their limits and setting boundaries when necessary.
 
Kooper said:
And better then the ripple brand.
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I prefer hers

Herrs-Original-Bag.jpg
 
Lighten up is the whole problem man you can't sin and dwell in Jesus's Pressence. Repeat ye everyone and believe the gospel for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand!
 
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