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Why am I having so much of a problem getting a good Christian girlfriend?
- Thread starter dothackzero
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So then maybe it really is the social anxiety that's stopping me from finding a girlfriend.... Actually now that I think about it, I think when I've been asking God about it, it seems like think the 1st thing I think about it that's my social skills. Maybe that means he's trying to tell me it's social skills more than anything else?
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Wug
Guest
Yeah dude, I'm shy myself. The thought of asking a girl on a date scares me greatly. The few times I've been brave enough to do it, I had actual, physical symptoms of anxiety. My palms sweated, my mouth was dry etc. Now, you don't have to answer this question to anyone but yourself, but how many times have you actually asked a girl out? Me, I'm single like you. I share the same desires as you. I pray the same prayers as you. But I don't blame anyone but myself for my singleness. It's not that every girl is stuck up, it's that I'm lazy and terrified of asking out women. If you're going to wait for a girl to ask you out, you're going to wait a really long time. It would be awesome if girls asked us out, but that's not how things work. Now, I'm not judging you, and I'm in no place to give advice, but judging by those that seem to be successful in getting women, ie. married men, it would seem that if there's a particular girl that we're into, we should ask them out, and that's how things get started.
I'm not judging you, 'cause I'm no better myself.
peace
I'm not judging you, 'cause I'm no better myself.
peace
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greatkraw
Guest
yeah I used to freeze up just at the thought of asking for a dance
never overcame it
no problem now - just dont ask anymore
never overcame it
no problem now - just dont ask anymore
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janet_06_jimenez
Guest
"I have low self confidence"
No girl will like a guy who has a low self esteem or is shy.
You sound like a decent guy but you need to belief in yourself. I dont know you but if i did and youd ask me that then i would be able to know why girls are not exactly intersted in you. I dont mean by your physical appearance because you can have looks and be unattractive just because you do not have a high self esteem.
No girl will like a guy who has a low self esteem or is shy.
You sound like a decent guy but you need to belief in yourself. I dont know you but if i did and youd ask me that then i would be able to know why girls are not exactly intersted in you. I dont mean by your physical appearance because you can have looks and be unattractive just because you do not have a high self esteem.
What if after I get my social anxiety fixed and my other little problems fixed... What if after that I don't still have a personality that girls would like? I mean, I don't really know what I like without having social anxiety so I have no idea what I'll after I get it fixed or mostly fix. Like what if after I get it fixed that I still have nothing to say or nothing interesting to talk about to girls
Btw, I have been getting closer to God lately. Though it's still like I'm not getting any closer to having a girlfriend or even having friends that are girls in real life. Don't worry that isn't the only reason I'm trying to get closer to God.
Btw, I have been getting closer to God lately. Though it's still like I'm not getting any closer to having a girlfriend or even having friends that are girls in real life. Don't worry that isn't the only reason I'm trying to get closer to God.
Stop worrying about that. You are 21, your life has barely started. You have lots of time, and numerous mistakes to make before you have to worry about not finding a girlfriend/wife.
Enjoy your single years, because sooner or later you will leave the dark side and join the light.
Fi on all you youngin's. Just babes, you have lots of time. Worry about your relationship with God, and pray that you will be ready for the responisbility when that perfect person comes along.
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Just_Ducky312
Guest
Your want a good Christian girl, but are you a good Christian boy. Surrender your impatience and pray for patience. Maybe the loneliness is more a feeling of separation from God than from that ONE specific girl. Ask God what God wants for you. Do you trust God to know whats best for you? Trust Him with your relationships and especially His timing, it is perfect.
So will waiting on his time make it so I'll get a girlfriend? But what if he's time is like when I'm 40+ years old... I can't wait that long, I've already had a hard enough time waiting 6 years for a girl...
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OreoSoleil
Guest
I don't know why you are waiting on a girl -- God works for those who wait for Him. He never mentions a girl. You seem so sweet --- maybe God wants to make a change in you. That's all you can change now.
Probably because I'm lonely...
Does this sound like the Holy Spirit? lol, I almost type the Holy Sprite.
Okay, so like I was being attacked again about not having a girlfriend you know, stuff like I'll never get one. I started to freak out so I tried giving the fear to God. Then I remembered something that I think might be important. It seems like when I've asked how long it'll be till I get a girlfriend. It's like I getting an answer of that I'll have to wait till my shyness goes away. After that that I was sorta at peace and not freaking out anymore.
Does this sound like the Holy Spirit? lol, I almost type the Holy Sprite.
Okay, so like I was being attacked again about not having a girlfriend you know, stuff like I'll never get one. I started to freak out so I tried giving the fear to God. Then I remembered something that I think might be important. It seems like when I've asked how long it'll be till I get a girlfriend. It's like I getting an answer of that I'll have to wait till my shyness goes away. After that that I was sorta at peace and not freaking out anymore.
As I've said in other threads (and maybe this one, too), I highly doubt that God expects any of us to simply wait around, doing nothing, while He magically places the perfect spouse on our doorstep...it doesn't work that way. God does expect us to keep His commands, and trust Him more than ourselves, but that doesn't mean He bears all the responsibility in forming a relationship. It's an old saying, but it still holds true: "You'll never learn to swim until you jump in the water." By the same token, no man or woman can expect God to bring them a spouse, if they're not willing to open themselves up by engaging in social activities. How much sense does it make to live in isolation, and hope that God will somehow make a miracle while we do nothing? How does that honestly teach us anything?
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OreoSoleil
Guest
Waiting on God --never involves us not doing anything --we are supposed to live our lives and focus On God --that is wiating on him. Check out the story of David -- He waited on God --that means --not trying to make anything happen, or allowing yourself to become anxious over what you solely desire. Never once does God tell us to sit around and do nothing.
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counrtygurrl
Guest
The gap you feel in your heart can only be matched by God. if you;re waiting on agirl to fill that role, you;re going to be waiting forever cause it'll never happen. man and woman become one, but there are some things that only God can culfill in each person. the woman you marry won't be perfect and you won't be perfect when you get married. You have to rely on God for that quiet sense of joy knowing that all will be well, and not the opposite sex.
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BlackDove
Guest
hmmm, a Christian goth. Now there's someone I'd like to meet. Basiclly I just think the goth look is hot on girls.
Haha, right? There's no Christian Goths of the young-adult-female persuasion that I know of in my area, and it makes me sad... you know, me being of the Christian Goth young-adult-male persuasion and all... : P
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veroni5
Guest
I ask myself too why am I having so much of a problem getting a good Christian boyfriend?
Why should I ? The bible says, When you pray believe that you have received it and it will be yours.
Thanks be to GOD for His words it keeps reminding me that God will never leave us nor forsake us. He is our refuge, our very present help in times of need.
GOD BLESS
Why should I ? The bible says, When you pray believe that you have received it and it will be yours.
Thanks be to GOD for His words it keeps reminding me that God will never leave us nor forsake us. He is our refuge, our very present help in times of need.
GOD BLESS
I know trusting in God means that I don't do anything. I am doing what I can to find a girlfriend. Like seeing a psycologist to help me out with my ocd, gad, and social anxiety(Which is hurting me the most the girls). and I'm also working on my own to atleast try to attemp to talk to girls in real life.
Looks like giving everything to God does slowly make things better. So far it seems like my fears are going down, I still have them but they are less intense than they used to be. This is also when I'm in the middle of switching anxiety meds which means that things should normally be worse than normal. Also it looks like my luck with girls might start to be changing too. My friend's girlfriend started talking to me a bit to today, and I was actually able to have conversation with a girl. I just hope my friend doesn't kick my butt for talking to her...
Looks like giving everything to God does slowly make things better. So far it seems like my fears are going down, I still have them but they are less intense than they used to be. This is also when I'm in the middle of switching anxiety meds which means that things should normally be worse than normal. Also it looks like my luck with girls might start to be changing too. My friend's girlfriend started talking to me a bit to today, and I was actually able to have conversation with a girl. I just hope my friend doesn't kick my butt for talking to her...
Blah, I still suck when it comes to talking with girls. A girl pmed on Christian Chat in the chat, and I tried talking to her. I ran out of things to say within 15 min...