Why am I in so much pain?

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Bo

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I've been depessed for so freaking long, I just became a Christian like 9 months ago and although God is healing me it is sooo slow and I'm filled with so much pain, anger, hatred... and I don't want to be. I've prayed and prayed, no one in my family are Christians and both sides of my family are filled with abuse for generations back and both my parents are toxic for me to be around, and they're divorced, they think the idea of "God" is just silly and so I am on my own completely... my mom helps me with bills financially a little bit but thats the only time I talk to anyone in my family.

No one understands me, all my new Christian friends are from this college ministry and I've tried to have peopel pray for me sooooo many times, I have tried SOOOOO many things but nothing is working... I have so much stuff deep in my heart, pretty much ALL is from childhood and I cant take this pain any more, I sleep 12+ hours a day and I've been doing it for like 3 years!! No one can imagine this pain, its ridiculious. No matter how hard I try to get up and go out and be a normal, responsible, productive human it just doesn't happen... because of so much crap I have built up.

I need someone to tell me what to do. Should I just grab a bookbag and go into the woods and read the Bible and pray and spend every hour with God until I am healed? Anyone?
 
I remember days like that. I would say the best thing is fellowship. Finding other Christians who have gone through similar situations is great for healing, but when you are surrounded by others who have yet to face any life devastating issues it can be tough. Without a good support group, healing is going to be a long and tiresome process. My church has a program called celebrating recovery and it is kind of like an AA group for Christians going through hard times. If you can't find friends to talk to and support you it might help to look into different churches to see if they have life groups that can help you through these hard times.
 
"I've been depessed for so freaking long, I just became a Christian like 9 months ago and although God is healing me it is sooo slow and I'm filled with so much pain, anger, hatred... and I don't want to be. I've prayed and prayed, no one in my family are Christians and both sides of my family are filled with abuse for generations back and both my parents are toxic for me to be around, and they're divorced, they think the idea of "God" is just silly and so I am on my own completely... my mom helps me with bills financially a little bit but thats the only time I talk to anyone in my family."

Hallo Brother :),
i can see your problem. My family is also not support my "Eternal Life Way" and many outside also not. I have the same problem like you know too.
There is the solution for you:

[h=3]Mark 12:30-31[/h]New International Version (NIV)

[SUP]30 [/SUP]Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[SUP][a][/SUP] [SUP]31 [/SUP]The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[SUP][b][/SUP] There is no commandment greater than these.”


When you learned REALLY to love yourself it will get easier. So for you it should me so: Do not talk against yourself, punish yourself with thinking and make hurry in your believe. Take 3 years to learn the bible good and do the Will of God in that time very good and pray often and read often and do minimum 1 day fast. My Brother. You need minimum 3 years to learn what is real Love of God. If you Love God, then he will give you Love to Love the People. But not that Love that you Love people just because of reason. You have to Love them without a reason. It is better that you often breathe also in the night the fresh air and you must be disciplined 3 years and go slow! Do not hurry. God makes things PERFECT and it needs time.

In Love,
we can also talk on Skype about it. Bye.
 
The problem here is you're viewing God as a genie. God, i wanted to be healed, so snap to. That's not the way God functions. We don't just get to lay out our wants or demands and God hops to work. He has a plan, a plan you may not see, know or understand.
One thing God is big on is making people grow. And the best way to grow is through suffering. God could come down, zap you, heal it all. But then what do you learn? Nothing. God is more interested in testing you, putting you through the fire to help you grow. I've been through a lot in my life, and rarely had God ever just made it all better. If i wanted things to change and improve, or if i wanted to grow i had to fight for it. I had to go through the fire. But guess what? As a result i'm a stronger person than i was before i went through these things. I'm also wiser, more experience. I now can understand when others go through things and have to struggle, so i can offer them something to help. If God had just zapped me better, i would have no wisdom, strength or anything to offer anyone except to run around in my Christian bubble, self absorbed babbling to people about a God that i really know little about.
Yes, it sucks to do things the hard way, but in the end, it pays off. Just keep pushing and keep your eyes on the prize.
 
Super post is the last post.

It is so. Little comfort zone and most of the time hard zone. And that is good so.
 
Bo i understand what your going through I was struggling with depression at your age too.I was a new christian then too the only christian in my family.My problem was fear and pessimism I felt condemned.See that fear pessimism condemnation.The bible addresses those things.1. I had to believe God is good and that He loves me and that there is no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.Fear not I will help you God says in His word.Bo we have to trust in the Lord that is key to everything,if we don't we will live in fear.Study the promises of God pray and believe God hears you.Let God change the way you think by His word.Don't live by your feelings they can be deceptive.God loves you and will take care of you.Seek God's plan for your life and not your own,remember it is a process.Our God is a miracle working God.Read all the promises of God and give your burdens and fears to Him,He will help you,trust Him
 
Brother you make it. But i give you one tip: Stay tough!
 
Bo said:
I've been depessed for so freaking long, I just became a Christian like 9 months ago and although God is healing me it is sooo slow and I'm filled with so much pain, anger, hatred... and I don't want to be. I've prayed and prayed, no one in my family are Christians and both sides of my family are filled with abuse for generations back and both my parents are toxic for me to be around, and they're divorced, they think the idea of "God" is just silly and so I am on my own completely... my mom helps me with bills financially a little bit but thats the only time I talk to anyone in my family.

No one understands me, all my new Christian friends are from this college ministry and I've tried to have peopel pray for me sooooo many times, I have tried SOOOOO many things but nothing is working... I have so much stuff deep in my heart, pretty much ALL is from childhood and I cant take this pain any more, I sleep 12+ hours a day and I've been doing it for like 3 years!! No one can imagine this pain, its ridiculious. No matter how hard I try to get up and go out and be a normal, responsible, productive human it just doesn't happen... because of so much crap I have built up.

I need someone to tell me what to do. Should I just grab a bookbag and go into the woods and read the Bible and pray and spend every hour with God until I am healed? Anyone?
Click to expand...

BO you are in a great place and ready. Sounds like you are at the end of your rope yes? I say let go of that rope. I know you say what, I have been taught to not give up never raise my white flag the enemy would really abuse me. All of most everyones life we are taught to fight are we not? and is this not what you have been doing? We are taught when we go to war never raise our white flag and give up stay tough right?
Well how well has this worked?
Ready to see clear unto freedom, it is by giving up by raising that little white flag, tellin God you can't so God can
It is by renewing your mind, seeing things from the perspective of God not the worlds that says fight.
Jesus before going to the cross was about to be captured and Peter was not going to let that happen and pulled out his sword and cut the mans ear off of that person that had come to take Jesus away. Jesus has Peter put away Peters sword and puts his hand over the mans ear spot and restores the man's ear WOW!!!!!!! Bo put yourselfin that mans shoes as if this were you WOW!!!!!! I say again WOW!!!!!!!!!
Yuo see Bo I hear you say you believe and if only you have Faith as tiny as a mustard seed you will see things from a differant perspective, God will give you a differant way to look at what it is you are going through, teaching you how to live above the circumstances you are in, and when you usually get mad you don't anymore, and the adversaries get perplexed because when one does not react in the flesh and enjoys life others are frustrated that don't enjoy life and those others that don't have to make others feel bad so they won't feel so bad themselves. Misery always enjoys company, Proverbs 15 a Soft answer always turns away wrath, now this soft answer can only be real if it comes from your Spirit the Spirit of God where Joy, peace and righteousness from God kills misery in you not everyone else as a matter of fact after you dosee what I am saying and do, your adversaries will probably get worse and aorse trying to feel better by getting you mad and watch after this goes fro awhile them working on you and working on you when you fianlly do get mad notice how satisfied they will be, thereforeyou will truly learn to just not fight back at stupidity of others, If want Ihave alot of writing at my blogger at www.godjustloveyou.blogspot.com or just private email me if you wish I will answer when can Thanks
 
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