For so many years all I ever wanted I'd to get married and have children of my own. But I've never been in a relationship before. I've been praying about this and asking for the right husband. But I just feel like God isn't listening... I have even prayed and asked Him to take this desire for a family away because it's making me so depressed, but it just doesn't go away. As a woman, God wants us to raise children and take care of a house hold... But it feels like no man sees me as good enough. I've had a few guys show intreset in me... But it always grow cold when I show intreset back. Please I'm asking for a answer, this is hurting me so much all I want is a family life, is that so much to ask for? To furfil the purpose God wants us to do?
Why am I single
- Thread starter Chenoa
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I'll start by stating the obvious. I don't have an answer for your question. I know you know that. What I can do is share a little story. Us old people do that. If I go on too long, sit me in a rocker and put a blanket on me. I'll fall asleep.
OK. Here is what I wanted to share.
When I was in university I didn't think too far into the future. I started at 17 and studied biblical studies to become a missionary. Road blocks came fast and furious and in order to avoid a much longer story, it didn't turn out being what I was supposed to do.
I ended up with a History major/English minor and not a clue what I should do. It was a Christian university and I will be honest, I thought I'd be married and doing some sort of ministry work. Well suddenly I found myself graduated at 21 with not a clue. I knew I wanted to help people and realized that I had no clear direction. Yes I know. So far I do not look like anyone who should give advice. Hold on.
I ended up working in hospitals as a unit clerk and an admitting clerk. I worked graveyard shifts, often on weekends. I remember being called girl and wondering what had been the point of the last four years. During this time I'd done a lot of volunteer work with street kids and in the downtown core. How was this what I was meant to do? I didn't need to have degrees for this. I'd wasted so much time and money and it lead nowhere, or so I thought.
One night we had a girl come in by ambulance. She had been savagely attacked and dumped. I was processing the paperwork and I saw an additional person, not in a lab coat, go behind her curtain. I found out that she was the emergency social worker. I remember standing in the middle of the hall unable to move. What was she doing? How was she able to help? What did she know that could make a difference?
The next day I was researching everything i could about medical social work.
In jumping to the end of the story I was accepted into the school of social work, found out my history degree taught me a lot a needed, got my degree and became a medical social worker.
My point? I could not have ended up where I needed to be, I could not have found my calling, if I hadn't taken a route that made no logical sense. I had to be working that shift, that night to see what I needed to see. God led me where I needed to be even if I couldn't see it and the plan took years to happen.
God may bring you through the most unlikely situations and put you in unusual places but sometimes the only way from one place to another is not a straight line. The switchback trails are there for a reason. Don't give up if you don't see the path. He has this. Hugs.
OK. Here is what I wanted to share.
When I was in university I didn't think too far into the future. I started at 17 and studied biblical studies to become a missionary. Road blocks came fast and furious and in order to avoid a much longer story, it didn't turn out being what I was supposed to do.
I ended up with a History major/English minor and not a clue what I should do. It was a Christian university and I will be honest, I thought I'd be married and doing some sort of ministry work. Well suddenly I found myself graduated at 21 with not a clue. I knew I wanted to help people and realized that I had no clear direction. Yes I know. So far I do not look like anyone who should give advice. Hold on.
I ended up working in hospitals as a unit clerk and an admitting clerk. I worked graveyard shifts, often on weekends. I remember being called girl and wondering what had been the point of the last four years. During this time I'd done a lot of volunteer work with street kids and in the downtown core. How was this what I was meant to do? I didn't need to have degrees for this. I'd wasted so much time and money and it lead nowhere, or so I thought.
One night we had a girl come in by ambulance. She had been savagely attacked and dumped. I was processing the paperwork and I saw an additional person, not in a lab coat, go behind her curtain. I found out that she was the emergency social worker. I remember standing in the middle of the hall unable to move. What was she doing? How was she able to help? What did she know that could make a difference?
The next day I was researching everything i could about medical social work.
In jumping to the end of the story I was accepted into the school of social work, found out my history degree taught me a lot a needed, got my degree and became a medical social worker.
My point? I could not have ended up where I needed to be, I could not have found my calling, if I hadn't taken a route that made no logical sense. I had to be working that shift, that night to see what I needed to see. God led me where I needed to be even if I couldn't see it and the plan took years to happen.
God may bring you through the most unlikely situations and put you in unusual places but sometimes the only way from one place to another is not a straight line. The switchback trails are there for a reason. Don't give up if you don't see the path. He has this. Hugs.
Thank you so much, sometimes all we need is to hear the stories of fellow Christians and their advice.
My heart reaches out to you. I am sorry that you are hurting. It has to be so hard. If God has placed this desire in your heart, then time will tell.
Just remember relationships have ups and downs and all arounds as does being single. I know sometimes being alone can be lonely, but this is true in a relationship too, so hold on and wait on the Lord. In the meantime, find the sweetness in being single and enjoy. This way, if being single is your calling, it will have many moments where the rewards and blessings of being single will be more tangible to your experience.
I am sad that you would ever feel you are not enough. Hugs.
Just remember relationships have ups and downs and all arounds as does being single. I know sometimes being alone can be lonely, but this is true in a relationship too, so hold on and wait on the Lord. In the meantime, find the sweetness in being single and enjoy. This way, if being single is your calling, it will have many moments where the rewards and blessings of being single will be more tangible to your experience.
I am sad that you would ever feel you are not enough. Hugs.
Chenoa,
Greetings, I can say I relate to your post. If you do not mind me sharing a little. I was about 17 or so, foster kid and getting closer to aging out of the system. I was fortunate to have a christian foster family at the end, Jim (foster dad) took me to a little church. It has a really interesting history.. the skinny on it was either mormons or jw's built it and then abandoned it which seems unheard of. Anyway this guy comes along with only a vision, and everything works out for him. You see he was a man of god. A true believe and he had the gift of prophecy. The worship was beautiful and this day (I do not remember the sermon) he started with a greeting and went into telling a story of a young boy.
This is where it gets interesting, because I became uncomfortable and wanted to get up and walk out. How could he know, my foster dad did not know, my social worker did not know, NO ONE knew. But this pastor spoke like he knew. He walked around telling a story that was not his to tell, he hand was out and he was searching. He came to the end of my pew and asked me to come over. He was telling my story you see. What I have been through from early to 17, things no one knew because I did not share and they were not there. I am pretty sure I never spoke them in my sleep and I never wrote them down. But this man he was telling my past. And then he started. He placed his hand on my shoulder, closed his eyes and told the whole congregation about my future. Not in great detail but things that have come to pass and things that may come to pass. As I do not remember everything. I was told they record every single sermon and have tapes available on request. You get the worship, the greeting, sermon and everything. I paid for it, came back later in the week and there was no tape of that morning. No recording, someone did not press record.
I feel God (my father) did this so that I do not try to make what that man said come true. Because all things happen in our fathers time. He has a plan for you like he does for me and every living soul on this planet. I do remember he said I would become a leader, and people would follow me. Willingly without hesitation. And I did, I joined the Army not because I wanted to be a leader but because I aged out of the system. No home, no friends and no place to go. I was living on the beach in So Cal in a 1976 mustang 2. It had a sunroof so I was doing better then some. I had a job and the beach had heated / AC bathrooms so I could wash clothes and outside showers so I could bath in the middle of the night of course. I went and got my GED and joined the Army. I have led people for 20+ years. I never lost a soldier deployed, God has kept me alive through interesting and guardian angels. Not without injury however, just alive.
So here I am, I have met my soul mate over 20 years ago. We have passed through each others lives maybe a dozen times. But she is not available and when she was I was to broken to meet her needs. So I feel your pain, why would my father keep me alive to let me suffer alone, unloved and unlovable.
But you see when we truly ask and bare our soul to our father and wholeheartedly let him take our pain we feel it. We feel the lift, may or may not sleep well that night but when we wake we feel somehow not empty. Not full but I do not feel the pain today I did yesterday. And every night I pray that our father leads me down his path for me. Someday I will either meet someone that will accept me for my flaws, my soulmate comes back or I will leave this shell behind and be with my father where none of this matters. Because on that day I will know I am loved and no longer alone.
I pray for you my friend, that you let go and let our father hold you and fill the void you feel in your life.
And maybe your family, the one God knows you deserve and need is not biological.
Greetings, I can say I relate to your post. If you do not mind me sharing a little. I was about 17 or so, foster kid and getting closer to aging out of the system. I was fortunate to have a christian foster family at the end, Jim (foster dad) took me to a little church. It has a really interesting history.. the skinny on it was either mormons or jw's built it and then abandoned it which seems unheard of. Anyway this guy comes along with only a vision, and everything works out for him. You see he was a man of god. A true believe and he had the gift of prophecy. The worship was beautiful and this day (I do not remember the sermon) he started with a greeting and went into telling a story of a young boy.
This is where it gets interesting, because I became uncomfortable and wanted to get up and walk out. How could he know, my foster dad did not know, my social worker did not know, NO ONE knew. But this pastor spoke like he knew. He walked around telling a story that was not his to tell, he hand was out and he was searching. He came to the end of my pew and asked me to come over. He was telling my story you see. What I have been through from early to 17, things no one knew because I did not share and they were not there. I am pretty sure I never spoke them in my sleep and I never wrote them down. But this man he was telling my past. And then he started. He placed his hand on my shoulder, closed his eyes and told the whole congregation about my future. Not in great detail but things that have come to pass and things that may come to pass. As I do not remember everything. I was told they record every single sermon and have tapes available on request. You get the worship, the greeting, sermon and everything. I paid for it, came back later in the week and there was no tape of that morning. No recording, someone did not press record.
I feel God (my father) did this so that I do not try to make what that man said come true. Because all things happen in our fathers time. He has a plan for you like he does for me and every living soul on this planet. I do remember he said I would become a leader, and people would follow me. Willingly without hesitation. And I did, I joined the Army not because I wanted to be a leader but because I aged out of the system. No home, no friends and no place to go. I was living on the beach in So Cal in a 1976 mustang 2. It had a sunroof so I was doing better then some. I had a job and the beach had heated / AC bathrooms so I could wash clothes and outside showers so I could bath in the middle of the night of course. I went and got my GED and joined the Army. I have led people for 20+ years. I never lost a soldier deployed, God has kept me alive through interesting and guardian angels. Not without injury however, just alive.
So here I am, I have met my soul mate over 20 years ago. We have passed through each others lives maybe a dozen times. But she is not available and when she was I was to broken to meet her needs. So I feel your pain, why would my father keep me alive to let me suffer alone, unloved and unlovable.
But you see when we truly ask and bare our soul to our father and wholeheartedly let him take our pain we feel it. We feel the lift, may or may not sleep well that night but when we wake we feel somehow not empty. Not full but I do not feel the pain today I did yesterday. And every night I pray that our father leads me down his path for me. Someday I will either meet someone that will accept me for my flaws, my soulmate comes back or I will leave this shell behind and be with my father where none of this matters. Because on that day I will know I am loved and no longer alone.
I pray for you my friend, that you let go and let our father hold you and fill the void you feel in your life.
And maybe your family, the one God knows you deserve and need is not biological.
Possibly due to the shortage of men who keep dying in wars...but anyway,..cant do much about that. In China and India however, theres more men then women. But thats due to female infanticide.