Why can´t we be friends?

[Maggie-Cat]

Being a woman in a "machista" society where women are objectified and judged based on their appeareance and how well they can cook and do housechores is very hard...

Most mexican men are taught by their own mothers that their future wives must be excellent chefs, laundry washers and child caretakers. That´s the definition of a good wife here.

So of course friendships between men and women are seen as something likely to end up in romance. And for a girl to go out with her married friend once in a while to eat or the movies is heavily criticized by society.

Of course, that puts us open minded people in a tight spot. I have more than 2 married friends who I still enjoy going out with. Sometimes their wives come along, and sometimes they don´t because of work or kids, but they don´t mind.

If you ask me about the topics we discuss its mostly their family life, their work and their plans for the future. So its all in a good atmosphere. However, now my own family is starting to comment and tell me how bad it looks to society and that I shouldn´t go out with my friends unless my boyfriend comes too and their respective wives go too.

What do you guys think?

 

[Man4TheWord]

I guess if you can ignore man's stigmas, adj yourself why did God create woman?.....to be with man, and He also stated, "man's existence is incomplete without his help meet....so opposite relationship friendships with the opposite sex, really isn't your place, because msn and woman were designed to be together, do you are playing with fire, and all they potential human emotions that can arise when you put yourself in those circumstances. And when you are married, you may ask yourself if all the men in this world, why did my husband want to go hand out by himself with another woman? Not to mention it's the appearance of evil. Meaning, if u saw you it with him at first glance I would assume you are with him, and you take the knowledge he is married, every one would have the thought cross theory mind are they together?

 

[Ugly]

Well, the above post was partially bunk and only partially intelligible.
I don't see there as being anything 'wrong' with it, as i believe that most Christians go to extremes when it comes to marriage, and friendships outside of the marriage.
That said, i also think there is wisdom to be considered. I think if you are going to engage in such behavior you need to maintain a level of vigilance about not only your feelings, but the behavior/feelings of the person you are with. You are simply opening yourself up for the potential for things to go bad.

The risk for either of you to develop some sort of feelings or attraction, even over time, makes this a risky situation. And don't think for one minute 'he would never do that'. That's what everyone says, but people are capable of more than we credit them for. I can vouch for that, myself.

While having friends of the opposite sex is not 'wrong', i think wisdom should dictate the amount of time spent, either in person, or through other forms of communication, should be limited, in one on one settings. Really i think in person it's just not wise period.

Your expectations and intentions can change quickly, as can that of another. Most people who get in trouble don't plan on doing so. They just end up there through a series of bad choices, or even just one bad choice, and never see it coming. It just hits them in the face out of nowhere. Usually because they have too much confidence in themselves, and that of those they are with.

 

[Guest]

I agree totally with Ugly's comments but may I also add; it's very important to the Christian to how outsiders perceive them and what those outsiders may assume is or is not going on, what is appropriate etc. Billy Graham famously never allowed himself to be seen with any woman other than his wife - not even in a casual way, he surrounded himself with male friend/colleagues.