Why I post about Christians and dating.

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JohnB

JohnB

Well-known member
#1
Jul 31, 2022
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#1
I post alot about the church and dating. It's hard enough dating, and the church makes it even harder. They put impossible restrictions on Christian singles when it comes to dating or even sex. I hate to see scriptures taken out of contexts and applied to singles. Showing affection is NOT a sin. You cannot know someone without showing affection BEFORE marriage.
 
Eli1

Eli1

Well-known member
#2
Apr 5, 2022
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I don’t understand.
Is this a problem for you or for another family member?

If you don’t like what the church says about dating then simply don’t follow them.
 
EmilyNats

EmilyNats

Senior Member
#3
Jul 28, 2016
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The Bible in no way prohibits showing affection before marriage. It just prohibits sex and lust. If you think sex=affection, then you have a very sad, limited, misinformed, and warped view of affection.
 
JohnB

JohnB

Well-known member
#4
Jul 31, 2022
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#4
Eli1 said:
I don’t understand.
Is this a problem for you or for another family member?

If you don’t like what the church says about dating then simply don’t follow them.
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I won't follow what any church says about dating, but way too many believe anything the church tells them. I've seen very well know pastors, say things about dating that are just not biblical, and people believe them.
 
JohnB

JohnB

Well-known member
#5
Jul 31, 2022
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#5
EmilyNats said:
The Bible in no way prohibits showing affection before marriage. It just prohibits sex and lust. If you think sex=affection, then you have a very sad, limited, misinformed, and warped view of affection.
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I agree, but many churches, pastors and Christians have turned showing affection into a sin. To them a single person just thinking about sex is a sin.
 
D

Dirtman

Well-known member
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Jul 19, 2022
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You only need to know very few things before getting married. Are core values equal. What kind of baggage they are carrying around. What thier temperament is.
 
JohnB

JohnB

Well-known member
#7
Jul 31, 2022
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#7
Dirtman said:
You only need to know very few things before getting married. Are core values equal. What kind of baggage they are carrying around. What their temperament is.
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At Calvary the ONLY thing they cared about was are you both Christian. To many if you're both Christians, nothing else matters.
 
D

Dirtman

Well-known member
#8
Jul 19, 2022
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JohnB said:
At Calvary the ONLY thing they cared about was are you both Christian. To many if you're both Christians, nothing else matters.
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Calvary Chapel is playing church. I dont care what they say. There aint even many Calvary Chapel folks here.
 
JohnB

JohnB

Well-known member
#9
Jul 31, 2022
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Dirtman said:
Calvary Chapel is playing church. I don't care what they say. There aint even many Calvary Chapel folks here.
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I was in my 40's went to their singles group and asked them for prayer about getting married. I was told by the elders, "John, you need to put these desires on the altar of your heart and offering them up as a sacrifice to the LORD" I told them "why don't you stop eating for two weeks and when those hunger pains hit, put them on the altar of your heart and offer them up as a sacrifice to the LORD" They got the message, their advice was worthless. They told me they were just repeating what the pastor said during a sermon.
 
D

Dirtman

Well-known member
#10
Jul 19, 2022
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JohnB said:
I was in my 40's went to their singles group and asked them for prayer about getting married. I was told by the elders, "John, you need to put these desires on the altar of your heart and offering them up as a sacrifice to the LORD" I told them "why don't you stop eating for two weeks and when those hunger pains hit, put them on the altar of your heart and offer them up as a sacrifice to the LORD" They got the message, their advice was worthless. They told me they were just repeating what the pastor said during a sermon.
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Well why was ya 40 and not married?
Also why did you ask those guys? They read the Bible the way a second grader might read "animal farm".
Why didnt you go to a church that promotes the word of God about marriage? Was it because they tickled your ears about other stuff? Was it the I'm ok youre ok we are all ok God is a happy hippy in the sky kind of crap?
You need to stop and examine yourself.
Ya see ita your own sin that betrayed you not the sin of others. The sooner you can admit it the sooner you can repent and move on.
 
JohnB

JohnB

Well-known member
#11
Jul 31, 2022
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#11
Dirtman said:
Well why was ya 40 and not married?
Also why did you ask those guys? They read the Bible the way a second grader might read "animal farm".
Why didnt you go to a church that promotes the word of God about marriage? Was it because they tickled your ears about other stuff? Was it the I'm ok youre ok we are all ok God is a happy hippy in the sky kind of crap?
You need to stop and examine yourself.
Ya see ita your own sin that betrayed you not the sin of others. The sooner you can admit it the sooner you can repent and move on.
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I still believe GOD answers prayers. I did not expect the answer they gave. I never went back to them about prayer for anything. I was doing everything I could to get married.....online dating, speed dating, joining different groups....things never came together. I watched the hand of GOD interfere every time.
 
D

Dirtman

Well-known member
#12
Jul 19, 2022
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JohnB said:
I still believe GOD answers prayers. I did not expect the answer they gave. I never went back to them about prayer for anything. I was doing everything I could to get married.....online dating, speed dating, joining different groups....things never came together. I watched the hand of GOD interfere every time.
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It wasnt the hand of God.
Those methods sound utterly dreadful and self defeating.
 
JohnB

JohnB

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#13
Jul 31, 2022
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#13
Dirtman said:
It wasnt the hand of God.
Those methods sound utterly dreadful and self defeating.
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Dirtman said:
It wasnt the hand of God.
Those methods sound utterly dreadful and self defeating.
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Met a woman at church that I really liked. We started going out. We went to a home bible study. The woman hosting it knew me, but did not know the woman I was with. We walked in the house. My friend hosting the study walked over to me, looked at me, looked at her and pulled me aside. She said, "John I don't know why I'm telling you this, but you should not be with her" I thought LORD I don't care what you or anyone else thinks, I'm choosing her. A week later the woman I was with, told me, "GOD spoke to me and told me to move to Denver" A month later I get a letter from her, from Denver, saying she found a church she likes and met someone there that she likes.
 
D

Dirtman

Well-known member
#14
Jul 19, 2022
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JohnB said:
Met a woman at church that I really liked. We started going out. We went to a home bible study. The woman hosting it knew me, but did not know the woman I was with. We walked in the house. My friend hosting the study walked over to me, looked at me, looked at her and pulled me aside. She said, "John I don't know why I'm telling you this, but you should not be with her" I thought LORD I don't care what you or anyone else thinks, I'm choosing her. A week later the woman I was with, told me, "GOD spoke to me and told me to move to Denver" A month later I get a letter from her, from Denver, saying she found a church she likes and met someone there that she likes.
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Yep. its a fair bet God didnt tell her to move to Denver. Probably she wanted to see if she liked that guy better. She probably met him on a dating site or something.
 
JTB

JTB

Well-known member
#15
Aug 31, 2021
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JohnB said:
I won't follow what any church says about dating, but way too many believe anything the church tells them. I've seen very well know pastors, say things about dating that are just not biblical, and people believe them.
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Could you please elaborate?
 
JohnB

JohnB

Well-known member
#16
Jul 31, 2022
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#16
Dirtman said:
Yep. its a fair bet God didnt tell her to move to Denver. Probably she wanted to see if she liked that guy better. She probably met him on a dating site or something.
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She wasn't online, this was the early 90's before the internet was big. So now you're just guessing.
 
D

Dirtman

Well-known member
#17
Jul 19, 2022
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JohnB said:
She wasn't online, this was the early 90's before the internet was big. So now you're just guessing.
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Yeah, my brother moved half way across the country in the early 90s because he met a girl on line. They dated for a while.
She had already met the guy and didnt want to tell you. She was going out there to give this guy a try, and was keeping you as a back up plan.
 
JohnB

JohnB

Well-known member
#18
Jul 31, 2022
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#18
Dirtman said:
Yeah, my brother moved half way across the country in the early 90s because he met a girl on line. They dated for a while.
She ready had met the guy and didnt want to tell you. She was going out there to give this guy a try. She was keeping you as a back up plan.
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She was NOT online. I know that for a fact. You're mixing what happened to your brother, with what happened to me.
 
D

Dirtman

Well-known member
#19
Jul 19, 2022
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JohnB said:
She was NOT online. I know that for a fact. You're mixing what happened to your brother, with what happened to me.
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Ok dude. Believe what ya want. No big deal to me. Ive seen women do that to many men. Keep one in the hole as a back up plan. I dont know how many times I warned a dude and they didnt listen and got mad at me. Oh well no skin off me.
 
JohnB

JohnB

Well-known member
#20
Jul 31, 2022
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#20
Dirtman said:
Ok dude. Believe what ya want. No big deal to me. Ive seen women do that to many men. Keep one in the hole as a back up plan. I dont know how many times I warned a dude and they didnt listen and got mad at me. Oh well no skin off me.
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What you said did not happen. I know, I was there when it happened.
 
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