Why is it so hard to find a christian guy to date?

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MrsMusic8810

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Might just be my depression talking, etc. but.. idk, most the places i've gone to (both in real life or online) and found guys that fit most of my criteria: respectful, can make me laugh, has life goals, is a lover and bestfriend..but they weren't christian. I mena.. what the heck? Even my current boyfriend is a non-christian..don't get me wrong, I do love him but.. well I know that if I'm especially looking for a husband, he should be a christian.. *sighs* ...has any other woman had this problem?? ....
 
Well I'm not a woman but I can say that your choice in actually dating a guy that isn't Christian could be part of it. The bible says not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. In other words, don't hook up with them, whether it's marriage or not makes no difference, it's still being unequally yoked. I'm sure that you would probably have more Christian guys in your life if you didn't give the unbelievers a chance.

2 Corinthians 6:14-16 "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?
And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people."
 
I am not a woman but trust me, men has the same problem.
 
I am not a woman, but it sounds to me like you're looking in the wrong places.

Not to be mean, but it sounds like you're going about finding guys wrong. I have three recommendations for you

1) Stop looking for guys, start looking for God. The point of marrying a christian isn't because "well I'm a christian, I should marry someone else that is"; marriage should be focused on God, and should build up both people in their relationship with God. If one of them doesn't have that relationship, it simply isn't possible. By seeking God instead of guys, you are truly seeking God's will and His will is to give you great things.

2) Evaluate where you spend your time. If you find that many of the guys you are meeting aren't christian, it probably means you're spending a lot of time in the world. Without a doubt we are commanded to go out in to the world and spread Jesus, but even Jesus spent much of his time in fellowship with other believers.

3) Abandon, or at least rearrange your "criteria". Having a checklist of things you look for is quite problematic. If you simply can't abandon having a list of criteria, at the very least the top thing needs to be his faith. It sounds, from your post, very much like your "christian" criteria is more of an after thought. It can't be.
 
LightningClap0002 said:
1) Stop looking for guys, start looking for God. The point of marrying a christian isn't because "well I'm a christian, I should marry someone else that is"; marriage should be focused on God, and should build up both people in their relationship with God. If one of them doesn't have that relationship, it simply isn't possible. By seeking God instead of guys, you are truly seeking God's will and His will is to give you great things.
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I admit that I that in the past have wondered the same thing, BUT what you need to remember is that God has a plan for you. Try to trust that in His timing you will be with that special someone. You don't want to try to force something that isn't of God because it will fail.

This is how I look at it: If we aren't finding something we want or something isn't taking place then it's just not God's timing. Perhaps we have something to work on, even if that is just trust and patients. God's will is worth the wait.

Focus on your relationship with the Lord and who knows maybe it's then that you will meet the 'perfect' christian guy.
 
First, look for them in church. join one if you're not a part of one.
second, tell your boyfriend that God wants you to marry a God fearing man and that it won't work out (now if he really loves you he'll try coming to God and cross your fingers that he'll really find him but don't mention him converting, if he can't come up with that himself then hes not worth the struggle you're going to put your heart through)
third, God will reveal to you what you need to know WHEN you need to know it, so don't worry so much. just keep looking to him and that guy will show up right when hes supposed to. ^_^
 
You aren't the only one! I was just lamenting this to a friend the other day. I've learned my lesson about dating non christians though even if they have all these features we want in a partner, when the essential things happen you and that guy are on two separate roads and you realize no matter what you are unequally yoked.

I focus completely on God and am not interested in going on dates with men, but you definitely can't help your feelings when you meet a guy who is kind, understanding, loving, forgiving and you really like being with them. However, you can help your choices and looking to God for wisdom and direction.

The bible does say that relationships are very, very hard. But yeah I get you, friendship wise, relationship wise I run into the same issues with christian/non christian men.

Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.
1 Corinthians 7

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
Jeremiah 29

14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God.
2 Corinthians 6
 
Did you ever stop to consider that if your needing a man in your life is such a priority that you're willing to compromise by dating a non-Christian, that perhaps you aren't really ready for a relationship to begin with?
Maybe you should spend your time learning how to be happy without a man and growing in your walk so your aren't so willing to compromise before expecting God to bring someone to you.
And lets say you do meet this great Christian guy you're looking for. Then what? You're already dating someone. You're either going to miss out, or just brush your current boyfriend off, like he doesn't matter. Not quite nice treatment. Personally i think you have more to focus on then finding a man.
 
Ugly said:
Did you ever stop to consider that if your needing a man in your life is such a priority that you're willing to compromise by dating a non-Christian, that perhaps you aren't really ready for a relationship to begin with?
Maybe you should spend your time learning how to be happy without a man and growing in your walk so your aren't so willing to compromise before expecting God to bring someone to you.
And lets say you do meet this great Christian guy you're looking for. Then what? You're already dating someone. You're either going to miss out, or just brush your current boyfriend off, like he doesn't matter. Not quite nice treatment. Personally i think you have more to focus on then finding a man.
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Despite your sometimes off putting conduct, there are some valid points here.

MrsMusic: It has been said by more than one person, on more than one occasion: Do more waiting than searching when it comes to that special someone. It should remain in God's hands what kind of person you end up with, and if you set your desires above His will, things will fall short (been there, done that).

I'm not implying stagnation. Grow in your walk as Ugly mentioned, and perhaps then, you will develop a clearer, wiser ability to discern who is good for you. And perhaps then, God will deliver that person to you!
 
Yes, its not just you i think every christian has come across that problem more then once i know i have and currently i am trying to find a christian guy the one i'm talking to now is christian but not as a jesus freak as me and thats something that i'm praying about and he knows my belifs and how i am so if he is going to find god then we can possible date
 
allforchrist10 said:
Yes, its not just you i think every christian has come across that problem more then once i know i have and currently i am trying to find a christian guy the one i'm talking to now is christian but not as a jesus freak as me and thats something that i'm praying about and he knows my belifs and how i am so if he is going to find god then we can possible date
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Hardly an ounce of punctuation.

Tragic.
 
Personally I think you're putting to much emphasis on the religious aspect of this. I'd say that if you are currently happy with your boyfriend and you love him, then put all your focus into making that relationship work. That might mean making a sacrifice or two, not saying completely give up your faith, but maybe lower the standards a tiny amount for the person you are dating, or want to date.
 
well when you look for a christian guy it would be harder than finding a guy or a christian, although companionship is a good thing to have. not something you should need though.
 
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