Why is marriage so hard if it's a union join by GOD?

  • Thread starter Thread starter angelwings92
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
A

angelwings92

Guest
I'm having a hard time understanding this whole marriage thing. Some days I think I'm on the same page as my spouse and other days it feels like we're world's apart. This is supposed to be a union joined by GOD, but it feels like it doesn't come easy.
 
angelwings92 said:
I'm having a hard time understanding this whole marriage thing. Some days I think I'm on the same page as my spouse and other days it feels like we're world's apart. This is supposed to be a union joined by GOD, but it feels like it doesn't come easy.
Click to expand...

I chalk it up to God having a sense of humor. Of course I'm kidding. The first obvious reason for marriage requiring some effort is the fact that it involves two imperfect humans. I could stop here and feel like I've answered your question. But I and virtually every married couple understand where you're coming from. A good marriage is one that is worked on. It's as simple (and difficult) as that. Open and honest communication mixed with a sprinkle of selflessness from both parties and you can't miss. Unforntunately, life's circumstances don't always allow one or both parties to be at their optimum best. Take marriage and life one day at a time. Might not be a bad idea to agree to do one nice thing for each other every day as well. Make the suggestion and see if your hubby will agree to it. It's the "small" things that always make the biggest difference. And most importantly, bring your concerns to God each and every day.
 
I think of it like a triangle with God at the top corner and us on the two bottom ones when we are first married.
we are connected but we stand far apart.

However we are to grow as children of God and as we live together we walk and change

the closer we walk towards God the closer we walk towards each other. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggGwDrxrC2k
 
The best way of having a strong understanding marriage is by making your spouse, your best friend ever. The same way you talk to your best friend, talk to your spouse. The same way you play and have fun with your children and friends, have fun with your spouse. I am not married and i have never been in a romantic relationship, but i can tell you, if you do this, you and your husband will be inseparable. God bless!
 
angelwings92 said:
I'm having a hard time understanding this whole marriage thing. Some days I think I'm on the same page as my spouse and other days it feels like we're world's apart. This is supposed to be a union joined by GOD, but it feels like it doesn't come easy.
Click to expand...

I totally hear you angelwings92! I believe it's because in a marriage relationship God has the opportunity to work on our many imperfections - our selfishness, impatience, unkindness, etc. There is no other relationship that we have that brings out all those self centered tendencies like marriage does. If we are never faced with those issues, how can we change to become more like Him?
Here's something to contemplate :- in heaven there will be no marriage (Matthew 22:30). Is that because there will be no strife & conflict in heaven? Can we only experience complete peace with no marriage? - I think so - LOL!
 
Biblically speaking, marriage between a man and a woman symbolizes the unity God has in mind for Christ and the church. We find our directives in Ephesians 5: 21-33 on how to conduct ourselves with our partners. Revelation 19 & 20 sheds light on the marriage supper of the lamb describing similar connections that our God knew we would only understand by experience.

Following Christ is not always easy, but it is always rewarding. Sometimes we do really well, and sometimes we stand in need of mercy. Either way, we have entered a relationship of commitment as christians-much like the relationships we have with our spouses. How we stand in our commitment determines how the relationship goes.

It should be so easy-- keep God first, all else will fall into place. When we have problems in our marriage, it's a chance to grow. When everything is going great, we can rest and let love blossom. Everything about marriage seems to be either about growing or blooming, both mirroring a beautiful paralel to the plan God has invisioned for us. However, marriages, like gardens, need much tending.
 
angelwings92 said:
I'm having a hard time understanding this whole marriage thing. Some days I think I'm on the same page as my spouse and other days it feels like we're world's apart. This is supposed to be a union joined by GOD, but it feels like it doesn't come easy.
Click to expand...
[/QUOTE]No way is it easy. Your going to be thrown in the thick of it. No one else is going to see your true colours as your hubby will, and vica versa. Marriage brings out all the ugliness inside us. If we are in a bad mood, we take it out on him, if we feel like a whine, he cops it. You'll experience difference of opinions between you two as time goes by and sometimes it gets heated. Resentment can build up and bitterness takes hold. Pride and stubborness will take reign. This happened in my marriage. We are set in our ways. I never budged. I thought I could bring him to Christ by not allowing him to do this or that. It backfired. It's in Gods hands. I give him free reign and he will learn by his own mistakes, the hard way. He is not Christian. He is not perfect. Neither am I. If I cant get through this hard time then how am I going to deal with other hard times ahead. God has put me in this situation to exercise me. Bring out all the ugliness I never knew I had. I think he's cheated on me but I'm not sure. I've sworn a few times and I've hit him or tried to and hurt myself in the process. I sunk so low in my despair that I failed to realise that God, who is all knowing, allows things to manifest. Good & bad. He's taught me to pray,pray, pray. To hold my head up high, gain my composure and bury myself in his love, trusting him no matter what unfolds. Obeying his word. Self control starts in the home. It's the biggest test. The enemy doesn't like peace between husband and wife so he gets in there to stir trouble. We are blind to it sometimes. I am a little wiser now.

I'm sorry to rant, but I had to get it off my chest.
Click to expand...
 
Well that was an amazing read, I could do with the strength needed to let go and let God, my other half does soooo many things that hurt my feelings, it really eats at me at times, like googling Megan Fox, he's 41 and she's 24, makes me feel low. I wouldn't look at another man never mind google one, oh I guess I wind him up too but I know I'm a good and loyal partner, just fed up of feeling fed up!!! any help, please, I'm sending myself daft over here XXX
 
We,ve postponed our wedding 3 times now, he says its because of our finicial dilemas, I feel it's a committment problem, we've both been hurt in the past, I really don't know what to do, any suggestions please XX God Bless XXX
 
Ouend said:
Well that was an amazing read, I could do with the strength needed to let go and let God, my other half does soooo many things that hurt my feelings, it really eats at me at times, like googling Megan Fox, he's 41 and she's 24, makes me feel low. I wouldn't look at another man never mind google one, oh I guess I wind him up too but I know I'm a good and loyal partner, just fed up of feeling fed up!!! any help, please, I'm sending myself daft over here XXX
Click to expand...
[/QUOTE]I understand where you are coming from. It hurts. I have a younger sister who's 24 and my hubby has all her friends on his face book. I'm thinking what would a 39 year old man have in common with those young girls? They are so immature. They all talk about crap on that thing and nobody edifies anyone. They will share their most stupid thoughts for the world to see..giving their own so called wise opinions regarding life. Showing all their pictures in their bikinis etc. It's all empty.

You know what, once your in a marriage it's very hard to get out. Be very careful who you yoke with. I sometimes wonder if true love exists, in the way God would approve. We want them to have eyes only for us like they did at first. But they get complacent. Take us for granted. Babylon is strong. So much temptation out there. Lust is very powerful. Will bring the strongest man to his knees. They open up that door, and they let it in. They try to spice things up a little, and in the end it gets out of control. The enemy is there and you have all these problems. We cant change them, we can only change ourselves. In the end we will face Christ and we'll be judged on our own merits. They will have to answer for themselves too. God will guide. Be very choosy who you marry. Even if it takes a lifetime to find the right one. Dont rush into it. Our biggest enemies are the ones in our home. I ignored the tiny little signs God gave me before we married. I was so quick to forgive. So dumb. Now my forgiveness towards him has to be 100 times more. It takes a lot out of you sometimes.
Click to expand...
 
angelwings92 said:
I'm having a hard time understanding this whole marriage thing. Some days I think I'm on the same page as my spouse and other days it feels like we're world's apart. This is supposed to be a union joined by GOD, but it feels like it doesn't come easy.
Click to expand...

Should this be so strange to you? Really? Can you really not understand it? Don't you know that the Church is engaged to Jesus Christ? Now look at it, the Lord God has been VERY long suffering with her, because he is perfecting her. He is SO patient with Jerusalem. But who is her adversary, that keeps her from being as obedient as she could? It is that old serpent. So now don't you see it clearly? How often has God put up with you complaining and bickering to him? How long has he waited until you came into the knowledge of his Christ? Couldn't he have not been so patient and let you die and go to hell? So God is merciful. He really is. And through long suffering he is perfecting his bride. So I leave this with you:

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Eph 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Eph 5:26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
Eph 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

Eph 5:28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
Eph 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Eph 5:30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
Eph 5:32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

WOW! DID YOU SEE IT ''FOR NO MAN EVER YET HATED HIS OWN FLESH!!!

Gen 2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

Mat 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

May Jesus bless you.
 
Last edited:
I think marriages are not easy because it is a union of people of two different minds. They are united by God but they are still separate in other ways. God does bring together people in marriage but I do not think God interferes in our freewill. They are still two people that have brought together by God that have lived lives and they bring that together when they get married. We live in a world where marriage and family is under attack in various areas. I do believe these things as well as various other things are what make marriages so difficult.
 
Marriage is something great.
I am not an expert I might add.
But I only realized it (the goodness of marriage) after making a fortune of mistakes- my wife too. To be honest, we did not discuss a strategy nor did we get counseling. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we were breaking ourselves as we fought for this or that and with time we began to give each other more attention and care because it was fruitless to continue to fight. I feel that during the dark days selfishness on one or both of us fueled our pains besides the financial or social burdens. Generally, there is a spiritual warfare against married couples; the devil knows that a human being can achieve a great deal more once in a stable God centered marriage. Fight for what is yours and the joy will be yours again.
I pray that God will give you good wisdom to win your spouse.
Pro 24:3 Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established:
​
 
Marriage is something great.
I am not an expert I might add.
But I only realized it (the goodness of marriage) after making a fortune of mistakes- my wife too. To be honest, we did not discuss a strategy nor did we get counseling. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that we were breaking ourselves as we fought for this or that and with time we began to give each other more attention and care because it was fruitless to continue to fight. I feel that during the dark days selfishness on one or both of us fueled our pains besides the financial or social burdens. Generally, there is a spiritual warfare against married couples; the devil knows that a human being can achieve a great deal more once in a stable God centered marriage. Fight for what is yours and the joy will be yours again.
I pray that God will give you good wisdom to win your spouse.
Pro 24:3 Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established:
​
 
Stanelake said:
[SIZE=3 Generally, there is a spiritual warfare against married couples; the devil knows that a human being can achieve a great deal more once in a stable God centered marriage. Fight for what is yours and the joy will be yours again.
[/SIZE]​
Click to expand...

That's so right. Satan is waring against marriage in a powerful way because he knows it is the reflection of the relationship between Christ & the church. If we are aware of this we need to fight with everything we've got to win back territory that belongs to God!We need to pray earnestly & passionately for all marriages. Marriage has been distorted & misrepresented in sitcoms, movies, even adverts. We need to stand up & say this is not ok. This is not what God intended marriage to be!
 
Easy to answer this - Your both sinners! And it remains hard til the day you die. Simple.
 
angelwings92 said:
I'm having a hard time understanding this whole marriage thing. Some days I think I'm on the same page as my spouse and other days it feels like we're world's apart. This is supposed to be a union joined by GOD, but it feels like it doesn't come easy.
Click to expand...
ITS EASY BRO, THATS IF YOU LOVE EACH OTHER,AND MOST IMPORTANT IF GOD JOINED YOU TOGETHER
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back