Why most marriages won’t work?

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K

kaylagrl

Guest
#61
#61
Dude653 said:
Money is another issue while marriage is not work, especially when one person is frivolous with money
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Haha my hubby is the spender between us. In his defense he has trouble finding shoes and has to buy them online. Size 14 are kind of hard to find. But he has a sports style and that costs too. I kid him all the time. His closet is like walking into a store. All his shoes and hats organized and everything perfect. My 15 yr old nephew tries to emulate his style. He asked me if I knew how much uncles shoes cost. I said I did but that we have no kids or big expenses so it was ok with me. He thought and said "I'm gonna stay single so I can have a closet just like uncles". rofl. I think he got the wrong message.
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#62
Mar 19, 2011
12,688
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#62
kaylagrl said:
Haha my hubby is the spender between us. In his defense he has trouble finding shoes and has to buy them online. Size 14 are kind of hard to find. But he has a sports style and that costs too. I kid him all the time. His closet is like walking into a store. All his shoes and hats organized and everything perfect. My 15 yr old nephew tries to emulate his style. He asked me if I knew how much uncles shoes cost. I said I did but that we have no kids or big expenses so it was ok with me. He thought and said "I'm gonna stay single so I can have a closet just like uncles". rofl. I think he got the wrong message.
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My wife drew a disability check because of her health condition but most of her money went to support her grown daughter who would never hold a job
Or other daughter has always been a hard worker so I didn't really have any problems
 
K

kaylagrl

Guest
#63
#63
Dude653 said:
My wife drew a disability check because of her health condition but most of her money went to support her grown daughter who would never hold a job
Or other daughter has always been a hard worker so I didn't really have any problems
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Yeah, that can be an issue. My BIL had a daughter before he married my sister. She had a baby out of wedlock with a guy dealing drugs. Then she married another guy who adopted her child and she and he got drunk and got in a fight. Called the cops and she said he was abusing her. So my BIL have been funneling money to support her. Finally with this last situation he told her she was an adult and she needed to act like one and look after her own responsibilities. I was glad he took that stand, but not sure it isn't a bit too little too late.
 
studentoftheword

studentoftheword

Well-known member
#65
Nov 12, 2021
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#65
Thread Title -----
Why most marriages won’t work?

my view
Without God in the marriage ----Satan has full reign in peoples lives ----and Satan is a master of division in families -----

our human nature is flawed and unstable --

Also the Love we humans strut is very conditional and comes from our feelings ---this love is----

Eros -erotic love : the sum of life-preserving instincts that are manifested as impulses to gratify basic needs,----

Therefore we can fall in and out of love ----there is no real long commitment in most marriages ----you are loved today but tomorrow may bring the unlovely and put a damper on your love for your partner ---
--once a small wedge is inserted ---division starts ----and as time goes on the small wedge becomes a bigger wedge and repair gets harder to accomplish --many give up --cave in and quit the marriage ----

This love is concerned with self needs -----and most times will not stand the test of time ---
 
Ilive4Jesus

Ilive4Jesus

Active member
#66
Apr 30, 2022
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#66
Nehemiah6 said:
There is nothing wrong if they are both contract and covenant. Since the majority of people are not Christians, they would have no idea about covenants.

But the title of this thread should actually be "Why most marriages WILL work".

If the bride and bridegroom tell each other in all sincerity -- BEFORE THE WEDDING -- "Divorce will be out of the question!" then that is already a guarantee that the marriages would work.

Now, can every marital issue be resolved? Absolutely. There is not a single issue which cannot be resolved provided (a) both persons love each other, (b) both persons are committed to their families, and (c) both persons understand that there must be give and take in any relationship.
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I want to agree 100% here, except that you didn't mention "There is not a single issue which cannot be resolved provided......"
Both persons rely 100% on the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

Without that it doesn't matter how much a person does a); b) or c).
 
MsMediator

MsMediator

Well-known member
#68
Mar 8, 2022
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#68
Both of my parents still have very unromantic views of marriage.... They basically say any good normal personal will do, you just have to stay committed. All husbands and wives have the same expectations, etc.
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#69
Mar 19, 2011
12,688
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#69
GardenofWeeden said:
That's where commitment to each other comes in, over commitment to money.
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What my wife didn't seem to understand is you don't have to spend money just because it's there.
I know money isn't everything but you need to hold back some for emergencies and such
 
GardenofWeeden

GardenofWeeden

Well-known member
#70
Jul 27, 2018
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The Garden of Weeden
#70
Dude653 said:
What my wife didn't seem to understand is you don't have to spend money just because it's there.
I know money isn't everything but you need to hold back some for emergencies and such
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Agreed, but to me that isn't a reason for a divorce. Just something for both of you to work on together. It can be a problem, but also an opportunity for both of you to grow together.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

Well-known member
#71
Dec 15, 2018
23,460
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#71
traditional vows say for better for for worse, but a lot of people bail when it comes to the worse

Not sure can blame them but some are stupid reasons like oh no! we have children now and cant afford to look after them all. or 'I hate you now you have no time for me, or working so hard to feed said children that the marriage breaks up.

When people make their bed, they got to lie in it right? Why do they think it will be better going into someone elses bed?!
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#72
Mar 19, 2011
12,688
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#72
Lanolin said:
traditional vows say for better for for worse, but a lot of people bail when it comes to the worse

Not sure can blame them but some are stupid reasons like oh no! we have children now and cant afford to look after them all. or 'I hate you now you have no time for me, or working so hard to feed said children that the marriage breaks up.

When people make their bed, they got to lie in it right? Why do they think it will be better going into someone elses bed?!
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Actually my brother and I were relieved when my parents finally divorced. We finally got a break from all the constant fighting and yelling
Also my dad was violent and abusive
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

Senior Member
#74
Jul 18, 2017
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#74
Dude653 said:
What my wife didn't seem to understand is you don't have to spend money just because it's there. I know money isn't everything but you need to hold back some for emergencies and such
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Could you not have discovered you were marrying a spendthrift to begin with? By the same token you could have discussed mutual attitudes to money before marriage. So you can only blame yourself.
 
Nehemiah6

Nehemiah6

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#75
Jul 18, 2017
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#75
MsMediator said:
Both of my parents still have very unromantic views of marriage.... They basically say any good normal personal will do, you just have to stay committed. All husbands and wives have the same expectations, etc.
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And what about you? Are they not essentially correct?
 
S

Saved_by_HIM

Member
#76
Nov 11, 2022
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#76
Our society has lost sight of what God intended marriage to be. If there isn't a mutual desire between a man and a woman to honour God and create disciples then a marriage should not be valid. If people want to have a civil union and enter into a financial arrangement under the law together, that is an entirely different thing, but it is not a marriage.

A husband and wife must submit to God before all else.
 
Lanolin

Lanolin

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#77
Dec 15, 2018
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#77
But you can buy a marriage license for about $200

So the people giving them out are wrong? Or the authorities allowing people to get married? If you dont want anyone to marry, you can always go to their wedding to try and stop it.
 
Dude653

Dude653

Senior Member
#78
Mar 19, 2011
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#78
Nehemiah6 said:
Could you not have discovered you were marrying a spendthrift to begin with? By the same token you could have discussed mutual attitudes to money before marriage. So you can only blame yourself.
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Self righteous much? I'm talking to the same guy who said the Jews are satanic and on this thread said people who aren't Christian don't understand covenants. You need to get over yourself. A covenant is a promise between two people. So it doesn't matter what a person's religious beliefs are to make a promise and keep it
You realize Christianity isn't the only religion in the world right?
 
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