Why can't it be ok that I truly am the middle ground.
That's Christianity 101, the Bible specifically says that you cannot serve two masters. You'll either love one and hate the other or love one and despise the other. (I don't know the exact wording, but that's more or less the gist of it.) I used to think this was talking of Satan, but it's not. It's talking of sin, sin itself as being our master. Satan is just the puppet master of the sinful. And before you rebuttal, Christ protects us from the true puppet master abilities of Satan, and the world will see Satan's ability to manipulate people when the time of anti-christ comes, although, most won't realize that it's actually Satan pulling the strings.
You can't live for the world and live for God. One or the other will take the primary importance in your life. Look at Catholicism and other denominations that have become overly steeped in their own personal opinions and traditions that have very little or nothing to do with the Bible. While some are living for God devoutly, many more think that they are okay living in both worlds. Many will live in one world where they serve their sin and another world where they think they serve God through chants, beeds, pre-constructed prayers, and a whole assortment of religious practices that are believed to carry the power of God and forgiveness when God has specifically stated that only Christ can forgive. No amount of hail Marry's or Saintly prayers will ever absolve you of any sin because forgiveness is never earned. The Bible says this specifically. Forgiveness is given freely by Christ and accepted freely by man. Any other way is not forgiveness, it's just vain pointless religion. Not that vain pointless religion in of itself is wrong, but when it takes the place of God and of true forgiveness, the forgiveness that requires we accept it freely and then strive to live in the will of God not only in our actions, but in our very thoughts, then it becomes a stumbling block that will cause you to fall and reach out in vain attempts to live in sin and still be forgiven. God has said that we cannot live in sin and still be with God. If we continue to sin, the Spirit is not with us.
As for you, you say that you don't go to church, but you are still devout. That is difficult to fathom because God has specifically told us not to give up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing. There is a reason why God would have us meet together in worship and fellowship, because we need accountability with others. We need to know that our sins will be found out. We need that loving forgiveness from others when we fail to help lift us back up in the right direction. Also, God designed us to be social and to need some level of social interaction. One man by himself can sin a whole multitude of sins because he has no one to answer too but himself, and an acoustically silent, invisible God who it is easy for forget is still watching us and will still hold us accountable. Tell me honestly that you'll lust after a beautiful woman as easy in a church of your fellow brethren and sisters in Christ as you would in your room by yourself or with your friends as they are doing the same. Tell me honestly that you'll just as easily take God's name in vain or cuss in a church as you would with your friends at the bowling alley or when you stub your toe in the shower. Tell me honestly that you are just as likely to sin in any way when you are regularly greeted and you fellowship with your brothers and sisters in Christ as you would if you were alone.
There is also a reason why the Bible tells us to meet all the more as the day approaches, because sin will become more rampant and more easy to fall into. Meeting regularly with those that also struggle not to sin will only lift you up and help you to avoid falling into sin. And by falling into, I mean you find yourself regularly practicing a sin willfully, not failing once or twice here and there, but willfully participating in any sin no matter how innocent or small it may seem. To willfully partake of sin, usually on a regular basis, is what it means to fall into sin. You tell me honestly that it's just as easy to fall into sin when you go to church regularly and participate and hold yourself accountable to your brothers and sisters in Christ.
God is serious when He says that it's better to cut your hand off or pluck our your eye if it causes you to sin. He wasn't just saying that to illustrate the seriousness of sin, He was also saying that to be literal. I mean, God's not saying to cut off our hands, He's saying that if that's the only way you're going to stop sinning, then it would be better to cut off your hand than go to hell because you can't stop sinning due to the fact that your hand is still attached. Of course, the reason why we don't go cutting our hands off is because we know that God can and will deliver us from any sin that may tempt us. We have been given the ability not to fail because Christ said that he would not allow us to be tempted more than we can bear, which means that sin cannot tempt us so greatly that we will fail, only so greatly that we decide to fail. And you cannot name ever one time that you did not decide to go ahead and sin from when you got angry and yelled at someone to when you chose to think a thought about your classmate.
