I believe that I am an outcast at work. I think about certain things, like how I'm not seen as a woman, but rather as an Administrative Assistant. I'm not talking sexual attraction here, but the little things, like holding open a door or being courteous. Nope. Just a cog in the great machine.
So, it isn't that, really. It's more the subtle bullying that takes place. Lately, I've had to literally beg to be let off work. If I show even the slightest hint that I could change my plans and not take leave, they refuse me. So, I've had to be insistent and firm. Sometimes, to my great shame, I've even lied by calling in sick when I wasn't. Simply because I knew that they wouldn't let me off, so I didn't bother asking. Yeah. Not my brightest shining star moment.
Today, I think it's the worst it's been in awhile. I can feel the tangible chill in the air, and it has nothing to do with winter. I am actually miserable here and have thought of changing jobs, but I wait on the Lord, and He has not told me that He wants me to leave.
I firmly believe that God puts us places for a reason. In a world full of pitch-black rooms, we are to be the light. I am to be the light here, even when I believe I am being crushed in a winepress and having all the goodness squeezed out of me. Thankfully, we can go to the Lord and be refilled and refreshed.
Unfortunately, I believe that I am an outcast at church, too, so the sanctuary of that place has lost its safety. Same as above, however, I don't feel the Lord telling me to go elsewhere.
So here I sit. I am a firm believer that if I am the issue and it isn't my coworkers or church family at all, then leaving only complicates things because where I go, there I am. So if the issues lie with me, I'll take them to the new job or the new church.
Yup...just some things I'm thinking about currently.
So, it isn't that, really. It's more the subtle bullying that takes place. Lately, I've had to literally beg to be let off work. If I show even the slightest hint that I could change my plans and not take leave, they refuse me. So, I've had to be insistent and firm. Sometimes, to my great shame, I've even lied by calling in sick when I wasn't. Simply because I knew that they wouldn't let me off, so I didn't bother asking. Yeah. Not my brightest shining star moment.
Today, I think it's the worst it's been in awhile. I can feel the tangible chill in the air, and it has nothing to do with winter. I am actually miserable here and have thought of changing jobs, but I wait on the Lord, and He has not told me that He wants me to leave.
I firmly believe that God puts us places for a reason. In a world full of pitch-black rooms, we are to be the light. I am to be the light here, even when I believe I am being crushed in a winepress and having all the goodness squeezed out of me. Thankfully, we can go to the Lord and be refilled and refreshed.
Unfortunately, I believe that I am an outcast at church, too, so the sanctuary of that place has lost its safety. Same as above, however, I don't feel the Lord telling me to go elsewhere.
So here I sit. I am a firm believer that if I am the issue and it isn't my coworkers or church family at all, then leaving only complicates things because where I go, there I am. So if the issues lie with me, I'll take them to the new job or the new church.
Yup...just some things I'm thinking about currently.
