Worried and Confused.....

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Hava91

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I am in a situation where I don't know what I should pray for.... I was raped by a man in my new home shortly after moving state, and it has resulted in pregnancy. I have carried to full term and plan on raising my little boy as best I can by myself (with family help). But now the man is harrassing me and wants to be a part of the child's life. He is already legally not allowed to see his other child.... My rape was reported but he was never charged. The police where I am basically refuse to help, and are making it extremely hard to keep this man away from me - and from my child in the future... I don't know whether to pray that God change this man's heart, or to pray that he keep me and my son safe =(...I feel that if i pray to keep us safe then it would be saying he can't change the man's heart, but feel that if I pray for a change of heart that I am left open.... I know he will protect me but I dont know what to do now....:(
 
My phone sent before I was quite ready - and am sorry if this is posted in the wrong category =(.....any suggestions or prayers would help....
 
Its in the right category, and I suggest that you pray for both causes, that you and your son stay safe and that the God change this man's heart.

God bless.
 
Oh I forgot to say, I'm so sorry you went through what you went through. I hope you get justice somehow.

God bless.
 
Thank you very much... i would have responded earlier but for some reason my phone would not let me see your response >.<........ I suppose praying for both would be the smart thing to do lol. amazing how stress effects our thinking. If there is anything else you can think of that I might should pray for in this, please say so <3 and thank you for any prayers offered up for me and my son
 
Hava91 said:
I am in a situation where I don't know what I should pray for.... I was raped by a man in my new home shortly after moving state, and it has resulted in pregnancy. I have carried to full term and plan on raising my little boy as best I can by myself (with family help). But now the man is harrassing me and wants to be a part of the child's life. He is already legally not allowed to see his other child.... My rape was reported but he was never charged. The police where I am basically refuse to help, and are making it extremely hard to keep this man away from me - and from my child in the future... I don't know whether to pray that God change this man's heart, or to pray that he keep me and my son safe =(...I feel that if i pray to keep us safe then it would be saying he can't change the man's heart, but feel that if I pray for a change of heart that I am left open.... I know he will protect me but I dont know what to do now....:(
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I'm so sorry that you're going through this! Thank you so much for deciding to keep that precious baby.

You don't owe this man anything. He raped you. He is obviously violent and untrustworthy. Do not allow him into your, or your son's, life until you are CERTAIN he has changed. You many not ever be certain, but you need to protect yourself and your son first and foremost. That doesn't mean you can't pray for him that the Holy Spirit will turn his life around. By all means, do that (as I do also).

You may need to go to court about the rape so that he will be denied visiting privileges. Please try to get him formally charged. Crisis pregnancy centers may be able to direct you to the channels you need to do this. Or Social Services. You will need help with this so please don't put it off any longer.

Rape counseling may help you also. Again, a Crisis Pregnancy Center may offer that.

May God bless you and keep you safe!!
 
Hava91 said:
I am in a situation where I don't know what I should pray for.... I was raped by a man in my new home shortly after moving state, and it has resulted in pregnancy. I have carried to full term and plan on raising my little boy as best I can by myself (with family help). But now the man is harrassing me and wants to be a part of the child's life. He is already legally not allowed to see his other child.... My rape was reported but he was never charged. The police where I am basically refuse to help, and are making it extremely hard to keep this man away from me - and from my child in the future... I don't know whether to pray that God change this man's heart, or to pray that he keep me and my son safe =(...I feel that if i pray to keep us safe then it would be saying he can't change the man's heart, but feel that if I pray for a change of heart that I am left open.... I know he will protect me but I dont know what to do now....:(
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I am so, so, SORRY!!!
It sounds like you have been through a horrible experience.

Pray for Jesus to give you strength because you need to take action... and not just trust prayer.

If the man is bothering you, you can get a restraining order on him. If the police is not listening to you go directly to court. Talk to your relatives and friends and see if they can help you and perhaps talk to him for your sake. You know an intervention where you invite him home and you and your relatives are waiting for him. They tell him to live you alone and that you don't want to see him.

You don't want a rapist near your child... He is clearly a sick person and you should not give in to him. Think about your boy and fight that bastard off with hands and claws!
 
Dear Hava91,

I am troubled by your statement that the police in your area won't take any action on your behalf. Do you belong to a local church in your area? There may be something that your pastor, or somebody else in your church, can do to change the police department's stance. (Sometimes, the threat of a little bad publicity can do wonders with police attitudes.)

In any event, I do not believe that you are obligated to this man in any way. I personally would question his motives for wanting to be "involved" with your child. I would agree with those people who have already said that you should be very certain that he has truly changed before you let him into your (and your baby's) life.

By all means, pray for him. Pray for God to forgive him (rape is a sin if my memory serves me correctly) and for God to change his heart. Also pray for God's protection. Ask Him to look out for your child and you, and keep you both safe from any harm. If you give your troubles to Him, and trust in His love, I believe that He will show you the answer to your problem.

God be with you in your struggle.
 
I appreciate all the prayers and advice <3 I have already decided that I'm not allowing him into mine or the childs life, its just a matter of legally keeping him away....I reported to the police but the district attourney wont prosecute so he wont be formally charged and they already closed the case =( i am in the process of recording all his harrasment incedences and have already filled 4 pages, but they say its not enough...its all "circumstantial" to them......anyways, I continue to pray, as well as try any legal way possible to keep him at bay. thank you all for your prayers, eevery little bit helps
 
An idea to get the police to step up is to call the local paper, explain the situation to them and see if they will run an article. Sometimes things like that get enough outrage that government laziness gets kicked in under pressure of the masses. I know it would be hard to publicize what happened, but it may be for the best. Just an idea to consider perhaps.
 
Hava91 said:
I appreciate all the prayers and advice <3 I have already decided that I'm not allowing him into mine or the childs life, its just a matter of legally keeping him away....I reported to the police but the district attourney wont prosecute so he wont be formally charged and they already closed the case =( i am in the process of recording all his harrasment incedences and have already filled 4 pages, but they say its not enough...its all "circumstantial" to them......anyways, I continue to pray, as well as try any legal way possible to keep him at bay. thank you all for your prayers, eevery little bit helps
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I wish you all the best and pray for you!

Love
/Anna
 
Hava91 said:
I am in a situation where I don't know what I should pray for.... I was raped by a man in my new home shortly after moving state, and it has resulted in pregnancy. I have carried to full term and plan on raising my little boy as best I can by myself (with family help). But now the man is harrassing me and wants to be a part of the child's life. He is already legally not allowed to see his other child.... My rape was reported but he was never charged. The police where I am basically refuse to help, and are making it extremely hard to keep this man away from me - and from my child in the future... I don't know whether to pray that God change this man's heart, or to pray that he keep me and my son safe =(...I feel that if i pray to keep us safe then it would be saying he can't change the man's heart, but feel that if I pray for a change of heart that I am left open.... I know he will protect me but I dont know what to do now....:(
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wow..look up some domestic violence shelters and contact the people who run one near where you live.

though you're not married they might be able to help you get away from the man and have resources that will help you.

I'll keep you and your son and the man in my prayers and pray that God is able to place people in your life and your son's life with His love in their hearts so that you both can become the people He meant you to be.
 
I'll bet if you take him to court for child support he will runaway real fast and get out of your life for ever.
 
How did he find out about your pregnancy? How did he know your son was his? Why was he not charged in the first place? I am freaking out! You poor thing!!!!!! I cannot offer much advice, but if you ever want to talk I will listen. Your son is going to be a blessing to this earth. Has he arrived yet? If you don't mind what is his name? I will keep him in my prayers.

My husband is a product of rape (he was not raised very well though) Once he connects fully to God's plan, watch out satan. We went to a christian counsler and he told my husband there is something very connecting about him. He believed my husband is meant for something great in God's kingdom, and so do I. Everyone is drawn to him.

God really wanted this little boy to belong to you. You must be a special person. I am excited for your walk through life together under God. That man is no threat to you or your son. God intended for the two of you to be together and he has intentions for you both. Maybe you are going to stop this deranged man from hurting another, maybe you two are the contributing factors that will save him. One person, even one who harmed and violated you, that is not given to satan is a huge purpose. But, I believe your purpose is even greater than something that huge.
I'll pray for you to get all the answers you need!
 
Hava, even if the prosecutor's office doesn't have enough to charge the man, you should still be able to go to the courthouse on your own in most areas in the USA and obtain a protective order, especially since this man has not only raped you, he is now harassing and stalking you apparently. A lot of police officers won't get in the middle of what a guy may convince them to be a "lover's quarrel" where there is no protective order to back the police up because many times, if they do, the woman will cool off, back down, change her mind and leave them without a case in the end. I worked with abused women for years and have seen this happen time and time again. GET THE PROTECTIVE ORDER. It shows the man and the police that you MEAN IT and that it is not just a "lover's quarrel".

AnandaHya is right about contacting womens shelters near you. They can put you in contact with agencies who can help you and get someone to listen.

Catwoman's idea is AWESOME, especially if you go for back support and help with payment of the medical expenses of your pregnancy. The fastest way to get a guy like that to disappear is to hit them in the wallet.
 
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This is what I found in the bible.....
Deuternomy 25
But if out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. 26 Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor, 27 for the man found the young woman out in the country, and though the betrothed woman screamed, there was no one to rescue her.
28 If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, 29 he shall pay her father fifty shekels[c] of silver. He must marry the young woman, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.
 
Hava91 said:
I appreciate all the prayers and advice <3 I have already decided that I'm not allowing him into mine or the childs life, its just a matter of legally keeping him away....I reported to the police but the district attourney wont prosecute so he wont be formally charged and they already closed the case =( i am in the process of recording all his harrasment incedences and have already filled 4 pages, but they say its not enough...its all "circumstantial" to them......anyways, I continue to pray, as well as try any legal way possible to keep him at bay. thank you all for your prayers, eevery little bit helps
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a.) Since the man is harassing you, ask for a restraining order. You and your child's life is being threatened by him. The minute he breaks the order (and I have a feeling he will) call the police. They will then be required to put him under arrest for breaking it. If possible, ask your parents to put up cameras that will catch this man bothering you at your house. Also, if your parents have a land-line number, but it doesn't have Caller ID, get a phone that has Caller ID features and set it up with your phone company.

b.) There is nothing wrong with asking God for prayer for your safety, and at the same time, asking for the man's heart to change. Asking God for protection is not saying He can't change the man's heart. It's simply saying, until the man changes, protect you.
 
violakat said:
a.) Since the man is harassing you, ask for a restraining order. You and your child's life is being threatened by him. The minute he breaks the order (and I have a feeling he will) call the police. They will then be required to put him under arrest for breaking it. If possible, ask your parents to put up cameras that will catch this man bothering you at your house. Also, if your parents have a land-line number, but it doesn't have Caller ID, get a phone that has Caller ID features and set it up with your phone company.

b.) There is nothing wrong with asking God for prayer for your safety, and at the same time, asking for the man's heart to change. Asking God for protection is not saying He can't change the man's heart. It's simply saying, until the man changes, protect you.
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I need to add to part (a.) In most places, in order for the man to be arrested for breaking the restraining order, the police needs to see him there.
 
Catwoman - Awesome lol. I'm leaving him off the birth certificate. To even get a paternity test & lawyer will be expensive if he is that determined, and then the lawyer will explain everything else he will have to pay for - childsupport, court fees, medicaid, etc =p
 
Answers - He was with me when I found out I was preg - I knew him b4 the rape. He knows my son is his bc I was here a month b4 it happened so he is the only one any kind of sexual activity occured with. He wasn't charged bC the DA wont charge him even though I made the report. My son has not arrived yet but is expected in 4 weeks ^^ His name is to be Kael Maurice. Thank you for all your kind words & well wishes <3 I know he will be a special boy. I know God made good of the situation and Kael has a purpose. Before I wasn't even christian & until I found out I was preg, I seriously considered suicide bc I have been raped b4 and could not stand the thought that it happened yet again. but God gave me a reason to live <3
 
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