Worried my teenage son is addicted to masturbating

[Branch]

Ok , I shall give u the advice my father in law gave to my husband when he was a boy , basically this is it : u can only do it in this house , use a sock so u don't leave a mess and NEVER let your mum find out about it . There u go , rather than have your son do it outside and risk arrest , have him do it at home , without his mum knowing , I'm guessing that will terrify him as it did my hubby . The thought of his mum ever catching him or finding out was enough to make sure he didn't do it often .
Rather than have your son's primary feelings towards God being sheer terror as opposed to love , get him to fear being caught by his mum . It worked on my hubby .
If u push your son away from u in this matter , how is he ever going to come to u with any of his other problems ? He won't . Being a parent isn't just about laying down laws , it's about helping and guiding and supporting your children . Don't push your son away from u and maybe even away from God , with your apparent lack of understanding and sympathy for your sons situation . B an understanding father that he can come to when he needs guidance , just as Our Heavenly Father is to us .

The account about Ted Bundy standing in the corner of his cell twisting a washcloth while reliving his murders, as described by his cellmate, reflects the disturbing nature of Bundy's psyche. According to such reports, Bundy would engage in dark fantasies and mentally replay the brutal attacks on the young women he murdered. When his cellmate confronted him about it, Bundy would deny doing anything, even though it visibly disturbed the cellmate, who had a hard time sleeping at night.

This behavior aligns with what is known about Bundy's psychological profile: he was a deeply disturbed and sadistic individual who was preoccupied with his violent crimes, even while imprisoned. The ritualistic act of twisting the washcloth can be seen as part of his compulsive reliving or mentally rehearsing his offenses, which illustrates his detachment from remorse and his ongoing fixation on the violence he committed.

Such behaviors were noted in various interviews and accounts from those who observed Bundy in confinement, emphasizing his manipulative and remorseless nature. His psychological state involved recurrent violent fantasies, often accompanied by controlling behaviors, which supports this cellmate's account

 

[Branch]

Ok , I shall give u the advice my father in law gave to my husband when he was a boy , basically this is it : u can only do it in this house , use a sock so u don't leave a mess and NEVER let your mum find out about it . There u go , rather than have your son do it outside and risk arrest , have him do it at home , without his mum knowing , I'm guessing that will terrify him as it did my hubby . The thought of his mum ever catching him or finding out was enough to make sure he didn't do it often .
Rather than have your son's primary feelings towards God being sheer terror as opposed to love , get him to fear being caught by his mum . It worked on my hubby .
If u push your son away from u in this matter , how is he ever going to come to u with any of his other problems ? He won't . Being a parent isn't just about laying down laws , it's about helping and guiding and supporting your children . Don't push your son away from u and maybe even away from God , with your apparent lack of understanding and sympathy for your sons situation . B an understanding father that he can come to when he needs guidance , just as Our Heavenly Father is to us .

There are theories and accounts suggesting serial killer Ted Bundy himself believed he was influenced or even possessed by a malignant entity or "demon" that compelled him to commit horrific murders. Bundy spoke in interviews about an "entity" in his head that grew until it controlled him, driving his violent desires beyond his control. This was described as a destructive force growing within him rather than traditional psychiatric diagnoses.

 

[Carlyw]

I would say that you can not stop him, and that God wouldnt stop him forcefully. God gives us free will to do what we want. Obviously when our children are in danger we should stop them as best we can while still giving them freedom. This means we cant keep them perfectly safe from harming themselves with their own poor choices. They are their own people, with their own will. I would have a talk with Him

I would tell him something like "hey just so you know youre hitting around the age where you may have these urges to touch yourself in ways that feel good in the moment but hurt you long term. These moments can feel pleasurable at first, but lead to guilt and shame afterwards. If you are having these urges, it may be tempting to go online and look at things that make you feel even more pleasured. This is harmful because it builds a connection between your brain and these things which change the way your brain responds to sex long term. This could result in erectile dysfunction in adulthood, addiction, or not finding your future wife sexually satisfying. If you need me im here for you, and you can tell me anything. I won't be mad at you, I love and care about you and would love to see you safe."

Obviously the dialogue would look more organic than this. Ideally it wouldnt just be a complete monologue

However I did read once that when facing something that you find totally offensive, when talking to the person it is best to write down a idea of what you may say first so that you do not react emotionally and scare them away.

I understand how hard it is.

Please weigh my words but also consider my youth and the fact that I have never had kids. I do believe I still have some insight to offer though.

And also if your child is a Christian, you can bring God into things, but if he is secular, I would recommend responding to him as such because the God talk will only lead him further away from the truth. He will not listen.

 

[Branch]

Ok , I shall give u the advice my father in law gave to my husband when he was a boy , basically this is it : u can only do it in this house , use a sock so u don't leave a mess and NEVER let your mum find out about it . There u go , rather than have your son do it outside and risk arrest , have him do it at home , without his mum knowing , I'm guessing that will terrify him as it did my hubby . The thought of his mum ever catching him or finding out was enough to make sure he didn't do it often .
Rather than have your son's primary feelings towards God being sheer terror as opposed to love , get him to fear being caught by his mum . It worked on my hubby .
If u push your son away from u in this matter , how is he ever going to come to u with any of his other problems ? He won't . Being a parent isn't just about laying down laws , it's about helping and guiding and supporting your children . Don't push your son away from u and maybe even away from God , with your apparent lack of understanding and sympathy for your sons situation . B an understanding father that he can come to when he needs guidance , just as Our Heavenly Father is to us .

Dear Suze,

The Bible teaches that our bodies are sacred, created by God and indwelt by His Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Therefore, we are called to honor God with our bodies and to avoid sin, especially sins that uniquely affect the body.

Sins Against the Body
In 1 Corinthians 6:18, the Apostle Paul distinguishes sexual sin as a sin "against the body":
"Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."

This passage reveals that sexual immorality—the misuse of the body in sexual ways outside God's design—defiles and damages the body itself, which is meant to be a holy temple for the Spirit of God. Sexual sins are therefore serious because they not only affect the soul but also violate the sacredness of the body.

Masturbation and Scripture
While the Bible does not explicitly mention masturbation, it sets principles of sexual purity, self-control, and honoring God with one's body. The Old Testament story of Onan (Genesis 38:9-10) is sometimes cited, but God condemned Onan for his rebellion and refusal to fulfill family duties, not specifically for masturbation.

The New Testament warns against lustful thoughts (Matthew 5:28) and urges believers to flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18-20), live self-controlled lives (Galatians 5:22-23), and honor God in all bodily actions (1 Corinthians 10:31). Masturbation, when accompanied by lust, loss of control, or selfish gratification, contradicts these biblical principles.

A Call to Holiness
Believers are called to exercise self-discipline and to avoid anything that might enslave them (1 Corinthians 9:27). Sexual purity requires not only avoiding sinful acts but also cleansing the heart and mind. This includes fleeing lust and honoring God by treating the body with respect, reflecting His holiness.

In conclusion, while masturbation is not directly named as sin in Scripture, it often involves lust and self-indulgence, which the Bible condemns. Sexual sins, in general, are grave because they are sins against our own bodies, God's holy temple. We are urged to honor God with our bodies, pursue holiness, and walk in self-control.

May we seek strength from God to live pure lives, honoring Him in body, soul, and spirit.

Blessings,

Branch.

 

[Randy4u2c]

Hey everyone

I got 3 sons and worried one of them is addicted to masturbating. But even if he isn't addicted then I still believe it is totally wrong and I can't allow it under my roof.

I have no idea where to start? Looking for some help and support.

I feel strongly as a Christian he shouldn't do it, especially under my roof.

Masturbation—is it a sin according to the Bible?

The Bible does not mention masturbation, self-gratification, or “solo sex,” as it’s sometimes called. In its silence on the subject, the Bible does not say that masturbation is (or is not) a sin. Some people take the view that masturbation is a lustful act and is always wrong; others believe it involves a normal bodily function and has nothing to do with sin.

A passage frequently associated with masturbation is the story of Judah’s son Onan in Genesis 38. In fact, another word for masturbation is onanism, coined from the Genesis passage. Some interpret Genesis 38:9–10 to say that “spilling seed”—the squandering of semen—is a sin. However, God condemned Onan not for “spilling his seed” but for his rebellion. Onan refused to fulfill his duty to provide an heir for his deceased brother. Masturbation does not figure into the story at all; Onan’s punishment was the result of his failing to fulfill a family obligation.

A second proof text sometimes used to argue that masturbation is a sin is Matthew 5:27–30. Jesus speaks against having lustful thoughts and then says, “If your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away” (verse 30). While there is often a connection between lustful thoughts and masturbation, it is unlikely that Jesus was alluding to masturbation in this passage.

Though the Bible nowhere explicitly addresses masturbation, it does outline the purpose of sex. According to 1 Corinthians 7:2–5, “Each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” Implicit in this passage are these truths:

– God’s plan for sex requires relationship, namely, that of a husband and wife (1 Corinthians 7:2). Masturbation is sex disconnected from relationship.

– Foundational to God’s plan for sex is giving one’s body to another (1 Corinthians 7:4). Masturbation is the keeping of one’s body to oneself.

– The solution to a time of deprivation is to “come together” (1 Corinthians 7:5). Masturbation is done alone, not together.

Paul taught that it was good to “stay unmarried” (1 Corinthians 7:8) due to the “crisis” facing the Corinthians (verse 26). At the same time, the apostle is careful to say that marriage is preferrable to struggling against constant sexual temptation: “If [the unmarried] cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion” (1 Corinthians 7:9). Marriage is not sinful (verse 28), but allowing passion to burn out of control will lead to sin. All believers have the responsibility to resist sexual immorality. For those not gifted with singleness, marital intimacy—not masturbation—is a good and proper deterrent to sexual sin (see 1 Corinthians 7:2).

Some see sexual fulfillment as a need akin to the need to eat or the need to scratch an itch. They point to nocturnal emissions as evidence that the body requires sexual release. Some go further and say this makes masturbation morally and ethically neutral—it is simply something the body needs and is no more sinful than urinating. However, the Bible never presents sexual fulfillment as a need, especially when the fulfillment relies on self-stimulation.

Regardless of the morality of the act of masturbation itself, certain actions often associated with masturbation are decidedly sinful: entertaining lustful thoughts, seeking inappropriate means of sexual arousal, and viewing pornography, for example. If these sins are curtailed, masturbation becomes less of a temptation. Many people struggle with guilt concerning masturbation when they would be better off repenting of the sins that lead them to masturbate.

So, is masturbation a sin? The Bible does not directly answer this question, but there are biblical principles that apply to what we do with our bodies:

(1) “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God” (1 Corinthians 10:31). If we cannot give God glory for something, we should not do it.

(2) “Everything that does not come from faith is sin” (Romans 14:23). If we are not fully convinced that an activity is honoring to God, it is a sin for us.

(3) “I will not be mastered by anything” (1 Corinthians 6:12). Christians should avoid anything that might enslave them.

(4) “I discipline my body and keep it under control” (1 Corinthians 9:27, ESV). Self-discipline is difficult but necessary to “receive the prize” in the spiritual race we run (1 Corinthians 9:24).

(5) “The fruit of the Spirit is . . . self-control” (Galatians 5:22–23). Masturbation is almost always a sign of a lack of self-control.

(6) Do “not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want” (Galatians 5:16–17). We are called to self-denial, not self-gratification.

In light of these principles, it is doubtful that masturbation can be a God-honoring activity. If masturbation could be done with
• no lust in the heart
• no immoral thoughts
• no pornography
• no self-gratification of the flesh
• full assurance that it is good and right
• thanks given to God
then perhaps it would be allowable. But those qualifiers seem to negate the most common reasons people masturbate.

In the beginning, God intended a husband and wife to be “united” to each other, becoming “one flesh” and being unashamed in their nakedness with each other (Genesis 2:24–25). The very least we can say about masturbation is that it departs from God’s design for sexual expression and is thus not His best for us.

 

[jacko]

extend some grace, as Jesus has extended to you

 

[the_seeker]

Grace.
Jesus gives you grace. Whatever sin, there is grace and foregiveness.

 

[sockfeet77]

My parents strictly forbade masturbation for all of us. Mom would smell my and my sisters' hands in the morning and keep us from having stuffed animals or anything too close to our beds. She would check my brothers' sheets and dirty socks for evidence and punish us if she thought we had sinned. This was mostly in the 1980s to mid-1990s.

Raising my son and then my grandnephew, I didn't take that tack although I did emphasize right thoughts and asking God for help if they had a hard time organizing their thoughts in a proper way. But I didn't indicate that they were awful if they did touch themselves, I just made sure they knew never to do it when anyone else was around.

 

[JohnDB]

Hey everyone

I got 3 sons and worried one of them is addicted to masturbating. But even if he isn't addicted then I still believe it is totally wrong and I can't allow it under my roof.

I have no idea where to start? Looking for some help and support.

I feel strongly as a Christian he shouldn't do it, especially under my roof.

He just needs something else to do that will captivate his imagination and mental focus that he will enjoy. Can be anything from model building like radio controlled aircraft to something else like leather crafting where he makes various things like purses, belts, bags and portfolios.
Lots of leather goods.

Negative behaviors aren't stopped by Negative actions. They are stopped by replacing them with positive things to do.

 

[clairesdad]

my father worked abroad for what seemed like months when i was thirteen.i didnt know my stepmother knew i was masturbating.she was a religious woman and the first one to take me to church.the very one i attend now all those years later.she came to my room one evening and said to me that she knew what i was doing and made it clear she didnt approve and not to do so in her home.i remember the awful embarrassment i felt as she talked.the authority she had over me from a child still persisted.i did stop masturbating in bed.it was very difficult to deal with at that age.

 

[Erde]

my father worked abroad for what seemed like months when i was thirteen.i didnt know my stepmother knew i was masturbating.she was a religious woman and the first one to take me to church.the very one i attend now all those years later.she came to my room one evening and said to me that she knew what i was doing and made it clear she didnt approve and not to do so in her home.i remember the awful embarrassment i felt as she talked.the authority she had over me from a child still persisted.i did stop masturbating in bed.it was very difficult to deal with at that age.

How do you think about that today?