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Would you ask your future spouse to sign a prenup?? (Poll)
- Thread starter zeroturbulence
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ntw1103
Guest
What is this future spouse you speak of?
A hypothetical construct composed of 27% wishful thinking 12% leaving room for God to surprise me 37% too much cultural focus on romance and 24% cinder never rules out improbabilities only impossibilities. At least for me that is what it is, for others it might be a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow (that turns out to be a one horned rhino in a tutu standing on a paint spill in the real world).
No reflection here or any implications regarding gender. I just though this kind of fit this thread...
I'll start by saying that of course no one ever gets married expecting to become divorced later. I know it was NEVER an option in my own marriage for either of us. Until one day, for him at least, it was.
The good news in my situation is that Texas is actually very fair about divorce. Each spouse gets what they brought into the marriage, and everything acquired during the length of the marriage they split evenly. Debt included. No alimony, no taking anyone to the cleaners, unless they jumped through some serious loopholes somehow.
I like what Joseph said - if it helps relieve tension and stress, then do it. It's no one's business but yours and your spouses, and if you are both more comfortable that way, there's certainly nothing wrong with it. One of the main causes of divorce is stress over money. Wouldn't it be ironic if the very reason for a divorce could have been prevented by having a prenuptial agreement?
I don't consider a prenup an "in case we get divorced" paper. I consider it a contract outlining what both parties agree to in a marriage. It's an "agreement". I'm not sure how that's really much different than taking vows.
Honestly though, these are problems for millionaires. Since I'm not one, and I'm not likely to ever marry one, I don't really have a horse in this race.
The good news in my situation is that Texas is actually very fair about divorce. Each spouse gets what they brought into the marriage, and everything acquired during the length of the marriage they split evenly. Debt included. No alimony, no taking anyone to the cleaners, unless they jumped through some serious loopholes somehow.
I like what Joseph said - if it helps relieve tension and stress, then do it. It's no one's business but yours and your spouses, and if you are both more comfortable that way, there's certainly nothing wrong with it. One of the main causes of divorce is stress over money. Wouldn't it be ironic if the very reason for a divorce could have been prevented by having a prenuptial agreement?
I don't consider a prenup an "in case we get divorced" paper. I consider it a contract outlining what both parties agree to in a marriage. It's an "agreement". I'm not sure how that's really much different than taking vows.
Honestly though, these are problems for millionaires. Since I'm not one, and I'm not likely to ever marry one, I don't really have a horse in this race.
I'll start by saying that of course no one ever gets married expecting to become divorced later. I know it was NEVER an option in my own marriage for either of us. Until one day, for him at least, it was.
The good news in my situation is that Texas is actually very fair about divorce. Each spouse gets what they brought into the marriage, and everything acquired during the length of the marriage they split evenly. Debt included. No alimony, no taking anyone to the cleaners, unless they jumped through some serious loopholes somehow.
I like what Joseph said - if it helps relieve tension and stress, then do it. It's no one's business but yours and your spouse's, and if you are both more comfortable that way, there's certainly nothing wrong with it. One of the main causes of divorce is stress over money. Wouldn't it be ironic if the very reason for a divorce could have been prevented by having a prenuptial agreement?
I don't consider a prenup an "in case we get divorced" paper. I consider it a contract outlining what both parties agree to in a marriage. It's an "agreement". I'm not sure how that's really much different than taking vows.
Honestly though, these are problems for millionaires. Since I'm not one, and I'm not likely to ever marry one, I don't really have a horse in this race.
The good news in my situation is that Texas is actually very fair about divorce. Each spouse gets what they brought into the marriage, and everything acquired during the length of the marriage they split evenly. Debt included. No alimony, no taking anyone to the cleaners, unless they jumped through some serious loopholes somehow.
I like what Joseph said - if it helps relieve tension and stress, then do it. It's no one's business but yours and your spouse's, and if you are both more comfortable that way, there's certainly nothing wrong with it. One of the main causes of divorce is stress over money. Wouldn't it be ironic if the very reason for a divorce could have been prevented by having a prenuptial agreement?
I don't consider a prenup an "in case we get divorced" paper. I consider it a contract outlining what both parties agree to in a marriage. It's an "agreement". I'm not sure how that's really much different than taking vows.
Honestly though, these are problems for millionaires. Since I'm not one, and I'm not likely to ever marry one, I don't really have a horse in this race.
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renewed_hope
Guest
I believe it all depends. For example, if I were to have children from a previous relationship and I was a trustee for a trust fund they were to receive, I may request a prenup. Reason being, if something were to happen that money would remain safe and untouched until you sign it over to them. And I would have no problem signing a prenup in this kind of scenario because they aren't thinking of how they can protect their precious money, but more out of respect for the kids and their future whether it be a first home, car, or their college education.
Could not have said it better.
Death first? Thats a bit extreme to avoid a pre-nup, dont you think? Would it not be easier to just not marry the person? LOL
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MollyConnor
Guest
Probably not. I mean if I didn't trust him, why would I be marrying him in the first place? It's definitely tricky and there has to be a lot of getting to know each other time before the big day.
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MollyConnor
Guest
Hmm yeah probably, this way I know they wouldn't be marrying me for the cash!
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ntw1103
Guest
This wouldn't have changed my answer. Regardless of how much money either party has, if you don't trust a person enough to proceed without a prenuptial agreement, you shouldn't be marrying them.
On the matter of kids. If you don't trust that the person has the best interest in mind for your kids, shouldn't that bring into question why you'd want to marry them?
If I had kids and was widowed, and was at the point of considering remarriage, I certainly wouldn't consider anyone I didn't trust completely with my kids.
This is true, however its amazing how quickly a heart can change when material possessions and money are concerned. When my ex came after me in the divorce, I was blind-sided. I did not expect her to go for what she did. This is after 10 years of marriage.... People can give as much philosophy on the subject as they want, but unless you have been there, its not a very educated opinion.
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Siberian_Khatru
Guest
People change. Circumstances change. Motives and values change. People don't usually open a business and not opt for insurance, right? Trust is important, but it can go so far as to look like naivete. (This is not to say I would pursue a prenup in said hypothetical scenario, yet I wouldn't be offended if asked to agree to one.)
I would hope it never has to be exercised - after all, losing someone is hard enough - but the thinking/motivation behind proposing one is not outlandish to me.
I would hope it never has to be exercised - after all, losing someone is hard enough - but the thinking/motivation behind proposing one is not outlandish to me.