Wrong or Weak Foundations
1. Fornication (1 Corinthians 6:15-20; 5:1-5, Hebrews 13:4)
Sexual intercourse between people who have not been married is
fornication. The Bible describes it as a sin against your own body! It can lead
to premature physical death as seen in 1 Corinthians 5 if not repented of.
Fornication also includes any intimate sexual play such as caressing, fondling
or viewing of the nakedness.
2. Don’t Get into Compromising Situations (1 Thessalonians 5:22, 2
Corinthians 7:1)
A compromising situation is a situation that causes others to doubt your
testimony as a Christian. Anything that will cause people to say things like
‘we thought you people were Christians’ is an appearance of evil and should
be avoided. This includes things like being seen coming out of dark places
together or been seen in each other company in one party’s house at late
hours of the night; or spending the night in each other’s places and saying
that ‘nothing happened’. Or you travel together and share the same hotel
room, etc
In this category also is calling each other pet names, making clothes from
the same material (and co) to wear to occasions like weddings, etc. You
should not act as married couples because you are not!
3. Don’t Start Buying Things Together!
Avoid having a joint account or buying things together whether they are big
things like a car, land or even little things like pots, kettles etc. Wait until
you are married. The engagement period is a time to start positioning
yourselves to be more relevant to the kingdom. The best way to do this
financially is to come together to give for the Kingdom not to buy things for
yourselves (Matthew 6:21).
4. Don’t Live a Lie (Jeremiah 23:14 NIV, Colossians 3:9)
Don’t do things you do not intend to keep up when you are married e.g. if
you do not intend to be following your wife to the market, then do not do it
while engaged.
5. End All ‘Close’ Relationships With The Opposite Sex
When you are engaged, you must re-define all other relationships with the
opposite sex. You must not have any relationship with someone of the
opposite sex that gives the impression that you are ‘involved’ with that
person. You have made a commitment to your fiancé/fiancée and must burn
all your other bridges. You should not flirt as a Christian so tell such aperson in very clear terms that you are engaged. If they gave you gifts
because they had a ‘special’ relationship with you before, tell your
fiancé/fiancée about it and offer to return the gifts to the person. This is
particularly true of sisters; make sure you have not collected gifts under the
guise that the brother is ‘chasing’ you and then you go and get engaged to
someone else!
1. Fornication (1 Corinthians 6:15-20; 5:1-5, Hebrews 13:4)
Sexual intercourse between people who have not been married is
fornication. The Bible describes it as a sin against your own body! It can lead
to premature physical death as seen in 1 Corinthians 5 if not repented of.
Fornication also includes any intimate sexual play such as caressing, fondling
or viewing of the nakedness.
2. Don’t Get into Compromising Situations (1 Thessalonians 5:22, 2
Corinthians 7:1)
A compromising situation is a situation that causes others to doubt your
testimony as a Christian. Anything that will cause people to say things like
‘we thought you people were Christians’ is an appearance of evil and should
be avoided. This includes things like being seen coming out of dark places
together or been seen in each other company in one party’s house at late
hours of the night; or spending the night in each other’s places and saying
that ‘nothing happened’. Or you travel together and share the same hotel
room, etc
In this category also is calling each other pet names, making clothes from
the same material (and co) to wear to occasions like weddings, etc. You
should not act as married couples because you are not!
3. Don’t Start Buying Things Together!
Avoid having a joint account or buying things together whether they are big
things like a car, land or even little things like pots, kettles etc. Wait until
you are married. The engagement period is a time to start positioning
yourselves to be more relevant to the kingdom. The best way to do this
financially is to come together to give for the Kingdom not to buy things for
yourselves (Matthew 6:21).
4. Don’t Live a Lie (Jeremiah 23:14 NIV, Colossians 3:9)
Don’t do things you do not intend to keep up when you are married e.g. if
you do not intend to be following your wife to the market, then do not do it
while engaged.
5. End All ‘Close’ Relationships With The Opposite Sex
When you are engaged, you must re-define all other relationships with the
opposite sex. You must not have any relationship with someone of the
opposite sex that gives the impression that you are ‘involved’ with that
person. You have made a commitment to your fiancé/fiancée and must burn
all your other bridges. You should not flirt as a Christian so tell such aperson in very clear terms that you are engaged. If they gave you gifts
because they had a ‘special’ relationship with you before, tell your
fiancé/fiancée about it and offer to return the gifts to the person. This is
particularly true of sisters; make sure you have not collected gifts under the
guise that the brother is ‘chasing’ you and then you go and get engaged to
someone else!