yep...I'm actually asking this question :)

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Jullianna

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I don't want to derail someone else's thread in the family forum, so I'm posting the question here. A male poster mentioned something a lot of women wonder about. We have our hypothesis, but I'd like to hear it straight. Maybe it's not even true, who knows...

Why is it that romance to a lot of guys means sex? What is romance to guys exactly?
 
Jullianna said:
I don't want to derail someone else's thread in the family forum, so I'm posting the question here. A male poster mentioned something a lot of women wonder about. We have our hypothesis, but I'd like to hear it straight. Maybe it's not even true, who knows...

Why is it that romance to a lot of guys means sex? What is romance to guys exactly?
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O Glorious Day ! Hey, julieannie, that sounds like one of your t-shirts to lead others to Christ. Looks like it too :D

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Okee, now where wuzzee I???
) Ah, yes.......

Jullianna said:
I don't want to derail someone else's thread in the family forum, so I'm posting the question here. A male poster mentioned something a lot of women wonder about. We have our hypothesis, but I'd like to hear it straight. Maybe it's not even true, who knows...

Why is it that romance to a lot of guys means sex? What is romance to guys exactly?
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It is how we are wired, it goes along with John Eldredge's book, 'Wild At Heart,' julieannie.

We want to go after something and romance is a part of the picture too, don't get me wrong, but it is like that George Michael song....

BUT, and this is a big 'but,' we have the power of the Lord in us IF we so choose to use it and keep it and pact our life outside of doing that until marriage, because The Enemy, too, knows guys think about 'I want your sex,' every 7 minutes. It's actually 7 seconds, the study they did got it all wrong :D . I am being silly, but serious, julieannie.

Anyway, I am not well versed in this subject, perhaps, because I have not done 'it' before marriage and I made a pact long ago to God I did not want to until I was married and I take NO credit for it but He has kept me from doing it in the flesh. It's all 'about you. It's all about you, Jesus. I'm going back to the heart of worship where it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus.'

I think when we make 'it' all about Him, then, guys, yes, guys, YOU, and, sigh, I, we all can do it, IF we bring ourselves down to our knees and just worship God in all our singleness until the time comes that one day, some day, maybe, He changes things.

But, until that time comes, we are to make Jesus our chief ROMANCE and I am sorry, julieannie, but I doubt I even came halfway close to giving you a good answer. I'm hopefully in some waysgreen and nice, even if I be not helpful :D
_))))))()_
God bless you, ,miladies, for staying fast to Him, your romance too, you're all and all, the treasure that you keep, the promise from Him will be deep, so alive, so there, and, kept, hidden in His heart, until the time if one day, some day, maybe, He changes things :) Jeremiah 29:11-13 , I like these verses. Not just the one about a future and a hope, which is great in itself. oh ok, I will list the verse, just for you, miladies :)

Jeremiah 29: 11-13

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future an a hope. Then you will call on me and go and pray to Me and I will listen to you. (God listens, miladies, when you call His name :) ) And you will seek Me and find Me, when you SEARCH for Me with all your....................
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0101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010101010


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<3 :) And, look , you SEARCH for God, miladies, and, He gives you a big ole yummy strawberry scrumptiouliscious ice cream cone. ;)
 
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Romance is of the [proverbial/metaphysical] heart. Sex is not (in my opinion).
 
I'm afraid i can't answer that. To me romance is basically finding ways to express your love and care for the person you're with. Whether its a note in their lunch, or a big fancy expensive romantic dinner. Or even, yes, sex. But to me, sex would just be another expression of love. And also its a product of the other ways of romance. To me the romance is what generates those feelings and makes them stronger, love, and creates closeness.. and sex is a natural continuation and enhancement of what took place previously.
Though i will say that i don't think thats the way most men think. I have found i often don't think about some things they way most men do.
 
psssst..Ugly...that's one of the things that makes you A W E S O M E :D
 
Oohh, a juicy topic! :D Hmmm.... well, I believe that adventure is the spirit of romance. The essence or heart of it, if you will. There has to be discovery, intrigue, obstacles to face and overcome together. Romance has to be about far more than sex to me, that'd just get boring, even if the sex itself was good. The whole relationship dynamic has to be attractive to both people otherwise it would get dull or irrelevant. Some people take holidays to overcome that, others have hobbies or projects that they share. Whatever it is that gives a couple a reason to team up and overcome a challenge together. If you google image 'adventure' you find all sorts of extreme environments and challenging situations. Adventure is about overcoming, seizing victory, triumphing over adversity. How could two people in love not feel thrilled about each other after working together to make a discovery or breakthrough?

Oops, I wasn't going to write so much. *stops abruptly to avoid eyebrows being raised at crazy ideas I have*

Um... so yeah, uh... sex is romantic for men Jullianna...
Pft, what are you yabbering on about woman? Now, leave me to slouch on the couch and watch generic sports and drink beer. *BUuurrppp* 'scuse me gorgeous, that's tonights meatloaf sayin' hello again. Now be a dear and bring me another cold one will ya? *throws empty can on the floor* I did take you out to McDonalds for your birthday afterall didn't I? You can't say I'm not good to ya.
 
Oh, Cheekygrin :). Yet another post of yours that I thought was funny.
 
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Hmmmm how to be tactful and honest............

I'm going to say this in the terms of how the world/non-christians/whatever would approach it. <---Now how a Christian should view things....--->

Men think all the mooshy stuff, ie, the stuff women are in to. The fancy dinner, the poetry, the small acts of kindness, watching a romantic movie together, writing poem/song, is basically a way to soften a woman's heart/emotionally manipulate her in to an emotional state where she'll want to have sex.

I think that's how men view it. They know women like that mooshy/romantic stuff, so they do it, cuz they know it will soften the woman's heart and umm..yeah...

To men it's the means to an end

AGAIN THAT IS NOT HOW CHRISTIANS SHOULD APPROACH THIS!!!

So in answer to your question, to guys, romance is usually a means to an end.

Guys don't LIKE romance. Most do it cuz they know that's what the gal likes.

I see no problem with Christian men, in Christian marriages being romantic, even though they don't 'like' romance. I mean if they're being that way cuz their wife likes it, then hey it's an act of love. But by nature, romance really isn't a thing us guys enjoy or look forward to.
 
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*puts Cheeky's dirty socks and empty beer cans into his pillowcase and hands him a plate full of Exlax brownies* Enjoy your show, Luv :D
 
Thank you for confirming our suspicions, Stilly :)

Seriously though, when you read some of the books/songs men have written, they can't possibly be as shallow in this area as they'd like us to think :)
 
Jullianna said:
Thank you for confirming our suspicions, Stilly :)

Seriously though, when you read some of the books/songs men have written, they can't possibly be as shallow in this area as they'd like us to think :)
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I went back and added to my reply. Check it out. :P
 
Jullianna said:
Thank you for confirming our suspicions, Stilly :)

Seriously though, when you read some of the books/songs men have written, they can't possibly be as shallow in this area as they'd like us to think :)
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So I guess if I could sum it up...

Guys are romantic because...

1. It is a means to an end. Sex.

or

2. Cuz they know their wife likes it, so it's more an act of love, not an act of doing it because they enjoy romance.
 
Jullianna said:
Thank you for confirming our suspicions, Stilly :)

Seriously though, when you read some of the books/songs men have written, they can't possibly be as shallow in this area as they'd like us to think :)
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Men can be great politicians. ;)
 
very diplomatic way of putting it :D women would say they were fulla...umm... sumfin er other...
 
I don't think its straight across the board like that. As far as men 'using' romanticism for a means to an end. It can be viewed that way sure, and some guys do fake it. But when you genuinely love someone, being romantic is bound to occur. But being romantic is like another poster said expressing love for eachother, however its done. Different for every couple. People say 'romantic' and immediately all the same stereotypes come up along with mens stereotypical reaction to things and blahblahblah. Being romantic can be something as simple as an inside joke with you and your significant other, or just being loving towards one another. It doesn't necessarily mean a 5 star meal with rose petals leading up to the tabel with italian guys playing the violen and reading poetry.
But when It comes down to it sex is the ultimate expression of love. Not just another topic thrown in the middle with dinner and a movie. Its on another level, as God intended it to be. Its not just some casual act that highlights a mundane marriage (although it can become that). It's the epitomy of intimacy. The pinnacle expression for love and trust. It should not be considered anything lower then that.

We ALL agree sex is totally awesome. Don't front lol. 'oh yeah sex is great but you know its just another way to express love.' Geeeet ouuutta here lol. Sex with your marriage partner is nothing short of divine.
 
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Pft, what are you yabbering on about woman? Now, leave me to slouch on the couch and watch generic sports and drink beer. *BUuurrppp* 'scuse me gorgeous, that's tonights meatloaf sayin' hello again. Now be a dear and bring me another cold one will ya? *throws empty can on the floor* I did take you out to McDonalds for your birthday afterall didn't I? You can't say I'm not good to ya.
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Cheeky?

Your real name isn't 'Bob' is it ?
:D

Rainier Beer - Marlene - YouTube
 
1still_waters said:
Hmmmm how to be tactful and honest............

I'm going to say this in the terms of how the world/non-christians/whatever would approach it. <---Now how a Christian should view things....--->

Men think all the mooshy stuff, ie, the stuff women are in to. The fancy dinner, the poetry, the small acts of kindness, watching a romantic movie together, writing poem/song, is basically a way to soften a woman's heart/emotionally manipulate her in to an emotional state where she'll want to have sex.

I think that's how men view it. They know women like that mooshy/romantic stuff, so they do it, cuz they know it will soften the woman's heart and umm..yeah...

To men it's the means to an end

AGAIN THAT IS NOT HOW CHRISTIANS SHOULD APPROACH THIS!!!

So in answer to your question, to guys, romance is usually a means to an end.

Guys don't LIKE romance. Most do it cuz they know that's what the gal likes.

I see no problem with Christian men, in Christian marriages being romantic, even though they don't 'like' romance. I mean if they're being that way cuz their wife likes it, then hey it's an act of love. But by nature, romance really isn't a thing us guys enjoy or look forward to.
Click to expand...

Hahaha Stilly nailed it!!
(no pun intended!)
 
Ugly said:
I'm afraid i can't answer that. To me romance is basically finding ways to express your love and care for the person you're with. Whether its a note in their lunch, or a big fancy expensive romantic dinner. Or even, yes, sex. But to me, sex would just be another expression of love. And also its a product of the other ways of romance. To me the romance is what generates those feelings and makes them stronger, love, and creates closeness.. and sex is a natural continuation and enhancement of what took place previously.
Though i will say that i don't think thats the way most men think. I have found i often don't think about some things they way most men do.
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Hey, ug, welcome back, big guy, glad you're back with us, there was a massive contingent on c.c. praying for you while you were away, I would actually call it more like a 'cavalry' :D

Anyway, Christ bro, most obviously and most excellently it is that Our Excellency has a lot more to do with you still. Infections are a drag, I do see it though as time that God is just wanting to slow me down and, as I told you in your thead jilly did up for your situation, give thanks in every situation....


This is a bit off base, perhaps, but, yes, Job, did not be yelling at God or curse him like his wife wanted him to do (Wife said, 'Why don't you just curse God and die.') and worse words that would cut any man in marriage to the quick despite his kids being killed, livestock gone. BUT, and, this is a big 'but' I think, Job also did not THANK God for His situation, I think Job could have cut time off of his suffering if he had done that, Job did 'bless' God in his iniquity of kids being killed after house collapsed on them and when Job was stricken with boils all over his body he just said 'we accept good from God and shall we not accept adversity? '


Anyway, ug, I just thought I would say all that, I can only hope that julieannie thinks that in some STRANGE (very strange way) I am showing miladies how a guy can be romantic in the right way, instead of the wrong way, as StilledWaters aptly did say we use the purple hearts and red balloons given for our ends of more than romance, that is, MOST guys do, I have been shielded and also have met a-many girls pretty to me, some after me, but never have I been a-taken by them aback , God's power is great. He is our 'cheif cornerstone' but He is also our chief romance, we should be able to fall in Love with His word and His ways until/if the time comes that He falls us in Love (His love given to he/she for us) with another :)
 
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Romance is the process by which two souls communicate and intertwine. Sex is a wonderful exclamation point to it, but hardly necessary and sufficient for romance to blossom.

In many ways I think the misapplication of sex has helped kill romance. Sad days.
 
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