I've been confused for quite some time. I'm not sure if I've been filled, or if I haven't been filled. I'm also just rather curious to hear what it's like, and hearing everyone's descriptions. Please describe it the BEST you can.
Also, if the changes in you after the encounter took some time to happen, or if it happened right after? I also always question if I have the Holy Spirit or not, because, well, I've always had a short temper. I still do. So, that really discourages me as to wether or not I have the Holy Spirit. . .
Thanks for hearing me out, and to anyone that answers, thank you.
I once thought it would be like magic or something,I was deathly afraid I didn't have the Holy spirit. I would lay in bed at night and pray and hold my hands up and beg God to enter into me. I would cry,I would think about my children and my wife,all of my family and friends and it was like a panic attack,I didn't know so there was no way I could tell them. You see I love them so I felt completely helpless,that is if I was the daddy and the husband then I was the one to guide them(how could I if I didn't know)?
You've only made 2 post, you've only been a member one full day,don't be discouraged. You started the thread in Post#1 and then watched and now it is page 5 and you never posted again(things can be overwhelming I know). When you stopped posting I looked at your profile and realized you are married and so are probably thinking similar thoughts as others i.e. you want to know God,live a Godly life,have your husband embrace god,raise children,,,(AND KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND AND CHILDREN WILL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER IN HEAVEN),,,<------"thats a good sign",thats what made me sit back and seriously look at the things I was hearing about it all when I was young.,,,
Is it magic,when you receive it then will you then be incapable of stumbling?,,,I read the bible when I was young and didn't understand it,I read it so I could brag to people I did.,it scared me to death when i realized I just wasn't the Superior genius "I THOUGHT I WAS",,,,then hey I looked at my wife and children and was shaking with fear,I realized that there was no way I could teach them the path to God,(because I didn't know),,,
Then a remarkable thing happened,well I went out into the woods and I began to shake and tears ran down my face,,I looked up into the sky and screamed at god "how can I tell them and teach them if I don't know,why wont you touch me or come inside me and make me understand everything?",,,I still cry thinking about that day,,I was very disrespectful to God,,,
It seemed like tunnel vision(maybe me ashamed of what I had done),,but though most may never believe it,,a thought went through my mind,a voice,God speaking(call it what we will),,but it ask,,"if my son died and saved them and I received it as complete, if I believe they are,why don't you?",,,
It was probably the hardest thing to anwser I had ever been ask,that is had I been saying I believed in Jesus and the cross,but not really. You see it doesn't make any sense to live in fear if we actually believe Christ saved me and you and our spouses and children does it? Would you ask Jesus to save you if you believed he saved you already at the cross?,,,There is the dividing line,,,,,,,,"one says they believe,and begs for salvation,which means they deny it",,,the other "believes he saved them on the cross,and are at peace,they relax and begin to give thanks",,,,one is in agony,,the other is at rest.