Ever OK to hit spouse?

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Feb 27, 2007
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I am curious maddog do you have biblical reference for your belief? ie: spare the rod spoil the child is the verse given by people who advocate spanking their children. Clear concise biblical instruction. I dont say this to attack you, I truly wonder if there is any reference advising to hit your wife in the Bible. Thanks.
 
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chacha

Guest
I'm glad someone asked this .. although this has been an old post .. guess I'm not too late to respond eh?? Wives/husbands were never intended to be the punching bag or the shock absorber..... I know fully of this ... ... it's heart shattering to be at the receiving end of the hitting ... and mind you the horrifying memory of being hit lingers ... only by the Grace of God emotionally, verbally and physically abused spouse holds on to their vows ... but one thing is for sure ... with God NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE even the hardest heart of an angry and abusive man/woman HE can Change...
IN the LORD there is always hope ... there is always a chance to be better... there is always the assurance that no matter what you and i have done to hurt the people we love God's forgiveness and love is as far as the east is from the west just never ever leave His side and trust Him that all things works together for good to those who love the Lord.
 
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tryingtofindhim

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I am curious maddog do you have biblical reference for your belief? ie: spare the rod spoil the child is the verse given by people who advocate spanking their children. Clear concise biblical instruction. I dont say this to attack you, I truly wonder if there is any reference advising to hit your wife in the Bible. Thanks.
spare the rod spoil the child is not in the Bible.
 
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Searching4somethinglost

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I'm kinda upset as seeing why this should even be a question. Even you are not the one bieng hit, think about if there a any children around. they watch you do it and they might get scared, become upset, or worse accept its ok to do so. Do you want a child growing up seeing its ok to hurt some one just because they're upset. It makes my blood boil seeing something of such brutish and thoughtless rage. think about it...
 
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sunshine_debbie

Guest
I already told you:


You still seem to be presuming things about the state of my health which are unsubstantiated. If you have a genuine concern for my well being then PM me, rather than slandering me in public.

Sometimes I wonder, are you really trying to say you would "discipline" your spouse in such a way as you would your child (by striking, or spanking, or slapping) or are you just trying to prove a point here that I seem to be missing?

Because you do not seem to be the type of person who really believes that women are so inferior to men that it is not enough to defer to them. I defer to my husband, even when I do not think he is right. He is the head of this household. I will pray with him, I will pray for him, but if their must be a choice between my will or his, then I will defer to him because that is what God's word tells me to do.

However God also gives men an awesome responsibility for the managing of their household. And just because I defer to my husband in matters of dissension and disagreement, does not mean I would allow him to hit me EVER. Also, although it has never happened, I do not think I could agree with my husband or defer to him if it went against the Bible or God's will.

Debbie
 
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tryingtofindhim

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I say if you are allowed to hit your kids; why not your spouse? But I stand firmly in not hitting either though.
 
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Searching4somethinglost

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I say if you are allowed to hit your kids; why not your spouse? But I stand firmly in not hitting either though.
personaly i dont believe in hitting kids, there are better ways like hot sauce (they used it on me) :p
 
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Searching4somethinglost

Guest
it hurts, stopped me from bitting kids
 
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tryingtofindhim

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oh ha!!!!!!!!!! guess it worked.
 
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Maddog

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I am curious maddog do you have biblical reference for your belief? ie: spare the rod spoil the child is the verse given by people who advocate spanking their children. Clear concise biblical instruction. I dont say this to attack you, I truly wonder if there is any reference advising to hit your wife in the Bible. Thanks.
As far as I know, there is no specific instruction advising hitting your wife. It's simply a position that logic has taken me to based on my understanding of marital roles: wives must submit to their husbands, and husbands must love thier wives as Christ loves the church. However, we chastise those whom we love (the clearest example of this is when parents correct their kids). Therefore, it seems only natural that husbands have a similar kind of authority over their wives, and in the practical order, it is useless saying that wives must submit if he has no recourse when she doesn't. From here I say that husbands have the authority, and responsibilty, to be the loving head of his family, and this may entail correction of his wife. Finally, I do not see a substantive difference bewteen verbal discipline and physical discipline (by this I mean that if we admit that the man has the authority to verbally rebuke his wife, there is no logical reason why he has not the authority to do so physically as well).
 
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Maddog

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Sometimes I wonder, are you really trying to say you would "discipline" your spouse in such a way as you would your child (by striking, or spanking, or slapping) or are you just trying to prove a point here that I seem to be missing?
I think certain instances may warrant it, but since I am neither a parent nor a husband I lack the experiential knowledge of what those specific circumstances may be. The point I'm trying to make is not one of specifically advocating such discipline, merely that it makes sense that a husband possesses that authority, and that therefore hitting one's wife is not necessarily wrong.

Because you do not seem to be the type of person who really believes that women are so inferior to men that it is not enough to defer to them. I defer to my husband, even when I do not think he is right. He is the head of this household. I will pray with him, I will pray for him, but if their must be a choice between my will or his, then I will defer to him because that is what God's word tells me to do.
Women are only inferior in a strictly positional sense, ie. all human beings are of equal worth, yet some must submit to others. You say you always defer to your husband, but what happens if you don't? Has your husband any means of maintaining his authority if you refuse to submit? As I alluded to in the post above, authority and submission are no more than words if there is no means of enforcing it when required.

Also, although it has never happened, I do not think I could agree with my husband or defer to him if it went against the Bible or God's will.
Yes, I agree that God trumps your husband.
 
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Demeter

Guest
Deuteronomy 25:11-12 "And in case men struggle together (in a fight) with one another, and the wife of the one has come near to deliver her husband out of the striking one (to save her husband), and she has thrust out her hand and grabbed hold of his private (the other man's groin), she must then get both her hands cut off, and the eyes of the men must feel no sorrow."

you must cut off her hands if you are in a fight and she goes for the other guys groin.
 
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wwjd_kilden

Guest
ooooooooouch! I better keep my hands to myself if I get a man who gets in a fight then :S
 
Feb 27, 2007
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spare the rod spoil the child is not in the Bible.
"He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24)

suppose i should of wrote spare the rod hate the child
 
Feb 27, 2007
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Ok maddog, so to love your wife is to hit her when she deserves it. I'm thinking this discussion is over.
 
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tryingtofindhim

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"He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24)

suppose i should of wrote spare the rod hate the child
Ya, isn't rod in the verse symbolic for any type of discipline if not its sad that the Bible promoted abuse.
 
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Maddog

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Ok maddog, so to love your wife is to hit her when she deserves it. I'm thinking this discussion is over.
Well, I certainly wouldn't advocate hitting if she didn't deserve it. However, you've misrepresented what I've actually said. Again.

It's not necessarily a question purely about whether she deserves it or not. It's about what's best for her and the rest of the family, and that can only be left to personal judgment on a case by case basis.