-
Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.
If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!
To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
L
Im not very often in the chat rooms but when i go there
- i like to chat in pm
- im very direct, if i cant chat because im busy or in another pm i tell that
- i answer all the pms and im able to invest time and effort in a friendship if the person wants too but
- i dont believe that i will met a husband on internet so i dont flirt (or date) but i do make jokes (i laugh a lot in real life so i im online like im in real life)
- if someone wants my mail, my photo or my meassures or tell me other weird things that pervs use to say then i ignore them
- if someone dont speak good english or spanish or start telling lies then i stop the pms with that person
- when im in bible study room and the topic is good i try to not pm to be able to put attention
- i like to chat in pm
- im very direct, if i cant chat because im busy or in another pm i tell that
- i answer all the pms and im able to invest time and effort in a friendship if the person wants too but
- i dont believe that i will met a husband on internet so i dont flirt (or date) but i do make jokes (i laugh a lot in real life so i im online like im in real life)
- if someone wants my mail, my photo or my meassures or tell me other weird things that pervs use to say then i ignore them
- if someone dont speak good english or spanish or start telling lies then i stop the pms with that person
- when im in bible study room and the topic is good i try to not pm to be able to put attention
Like I had said in response to Catlynn's post, unfortunately some guys will get the wrong idea if you give them the time of day. Sooooo, sometimes it is necessary to be extremely blunt, either that or make use of the "ignore" button when it comes to PM's. As far as those little boys who seem to think that steering the conversation in an inappropriate direction is the cool thing to do, that's what us Mods are here for, we don't need that type here. Copy and paste makes them disappear quickly. 
C
I get hit on every single time I enter the chatrooms. I used to go on webcam, now I never do unless Im with a group of CC friends Ive known for a good while and my husband is in the chatrooms.
And as much as I hate to say it, the majority of hit ons I get come from men (and women) from Pakistan, Bangledesh or some obscure African nation. Not being racist, I once dated a christian guy who was from Bangledesh, and I grew up with middle easterners in highschool and esp college.
I suspect even the 'women' who try to talk to me are in fact men, because they say the same thing every time!! I doesn't matter if Im married, or I put an extremely anti 'Don't talk to me' message in my pm box it still happens..
And as much as I hate to say it, the majority of hit ons I get come from men (and women) from Pakistan, Bangledesh or some obscure African nation. Not being racist, I once dated a christian guy who was from Bangledesh, and I grew up with middle easterners in highschool and esp college.
I suspect even the 'women' who try to talk to me are in fact men, because they say the same thing every time!! I doesn't matter if Im married, or I put an extremely anti 'Don't talk to me' message in my pm box it still happens..
I went back and read your original post Jullianna because i wanted to make sure that I answered it, and I think my last post fell short since I gave a pretty generic, one size fits all answer.
I've been on this site with you now for a year and a half and during that time have seen how you interact with people. I can honestly say that I have never seen you interact with a man in a manner that could be in any way be misconstrued by a reasonably mature and emotionally stable man to be "giving off signals" of interest. Your heart for people is always apparent and unfortunately some people will take that as a sign of weakness or vulnerability and try to exploit it in private, or others who are craving attention will see it as an opportunity fill that void in their heart and latch on.
So, to answer your question as to whether there is something else you could be doing, yes there is. You could never post a personal pic again to keep the guys away that are looking for arm candy. You could never let your heart be known to keep away those who want to exploit your positive qualities. You could never speak on mic again to keep away those who find your voice to be attractive. Yes, I'm being sarcastic. I think that anyone here who knows you well would echo my opinion that you are a mature, emotionally stable, and what is most important, godly woman, and that is going to attract people.
I see nothing offensive about how you described the way you handle situations at all. Obviously if someone is being aggressive or demanding, they deserve what they get whether it was just the ignore button, or a stern rebuke. If someone misunderstands your friendly outgoing nature to be interest beyond friendship, then in some way they should have made their own interest known.
As for my personal guidelines (outside of what is necessary as a moderator, come to think of it, I don't PM much outside of mod duties) some of these I will make exceptions for if I know them well
I don't chat with anyone young enough to be my kid, unless I know them extremely well, and that is rare. (just seems creepy)
If a woman is trying to get spiritual, or personal advice I will direct her to a woman I know well in the room.
I rarely chat with people I don't know from activity in the main room
Any sign of a needy woman ends the conversation
If someone seems to try to monopolize my time, as politely as possible I tell them to back off.
I am extremely cautious about what I say to women in PM because i wouldn't want to mislead someone.
There are others, but it's 2:45 in the morning and I can't think anymore, so I'm gonna go back to bed.
I've been on this site with you now for a year and a half and during that time have seen how you interact with people. I can honestly say that I have never seen you interact with a man in a manner that could be in any way be misconstrued by a reasonably mature and emotionally stable man to be "giving off signals" of interest. Your heart for people is always apparent and unfortunately some people will take that as a sign of weakness or vulnerability and try to exploit it in private, or others who are craving attention will see it as an opportunity fill that void in their heart and latch on.
So, to answer your question as to whether there is something else you could be doing, yes there is. You could never post a personal pic again to keep the guys away that are looking for arm candy. You could never let your heart be known to keep away those who want to exploit your positive qualities. You could never speak on mic again to keep away those who find your voice to be attractive. Yes, I'm being sarcastic.
I think that anyone here who knows you well would echo my opinion that you are a mature, emotionally stable, and what is most important, godly woman, and that is going to attract people.I see nothing offensive about how you described the way you handle situations at all. Obviously if someone is being aggressive or demanding, they deserve what they get whether it was just the ignore button, or a stern rebuke. If someone misunderstands your friendly outgoing nature to be interest beyond friendship, then in some way they should have made their own interest known.
As for my personal guidelines (outside of what is necessary as a moderator, come to think of it, I don't PM much outside of mod duties) some of these I will make exceptions for if I know them well
I don't chat with anyone young enough to be my kid, unless I know them extremely well, and that is rare. (just seems creepy)
If a woman is trying to get spiritual, or personal advice I will direct her to a woman I know well in the room.
I rarely chat with people I don't know from activity in the main room
Any sign of a needy woman ends the conversation
If someone seems to try to monopolize my time, as politely as possible I tell them to back off.
I am extremely cautious about what I say to women in PM because i wouldn't want to mislead someone.
There are others, but it's 2:45 in the morning and I can't think anymore, so I'm gonna go back to bed.
I
Haha I've never been hit on by women but I get pms from guys ALL the time, and like everyone else said, it's usually guys from Pakistan, India etc who send the messages. Being a Mod is kinda a bonus cos I can be like 'Unless you have something to report, I can't talk right now'... and I can say that and not feel guilty.
My tip for both guys and girls is simply this 'The IGNORE button is your best friend'. Use it often enough and people get the idea.
My tip for both guys and girls is simply this 'The IGNORE button is your best friend'. Use it often enough and people get the idea.
J
Sounds like we all pretty much go through the same thing. I used to think I was being rude by not responding to a PM, but you have to have boundaries and some people won't take no for an answer. I'd rather not start the conversation than have to be unkind later on.
Thank you, Oncefallen. I hope you got enough sleep. I enjoyed the sarcasm.
Karla and CC Bride, I get the man posing as a woman thing. Two of their most popular ploys: Pretending to be a young virgin who is afraid of her wedding night or the married woman who wants to compare her sex life to yours. Ugh.... One of the reasons I want to get to know people in the room before I PM with them is that I like to hear a voice and at least know the gender is real.
There's one guy who gives me a different story about who he is and where he lives everytime he PMs me.
My major chat annoyance: When I'm engaged in an interesting conversation in main chat and someone wants to monopolize my time in PM and has a tantrum about it. That's not socially acceptable offline, so I've always wondered why some folks think it's okay online. That's an immediate ignore.
Thank you, Oncefallen. I hope you got enough sleep.
I enjoyed the sarcasm. Karla and CC Bride, I get the man posing as a woman thing.
Two of their most popular ploys: Pretending to be a young virgin who is afraid of her wedding night or the married woman who wants to compare her sex life to yours. Ugh.... One of the reasons I want to get to know people in the room before I PM with them is that I like to hear a voice and at least know the gender is real. There's one guy who gives me a different story about who he is and where he lives everytime he PMs me.
My major chat annoyance: When I'm engaged in an interesting conversation in main chat and someone wants to monopolize my time in PM and has a tantrum about it. That's not socially acceptable offline, so I've always wondered why some folks think it's okay online. That's an immediate ignore.
What my pms consist of:
Dude with a weird username - hello
Me - Sorry, I don't do pms.
Dude - How r u?
Me - ...I don't do pms.
Dude - Ur nam? (and yes...I've had like 5 people say EXACTLY that.)
Me - *ignore*
THE END! *happy sigh* I love happy endings, don't you?
Also....you can say stuff as random as your GROCERY list and they'll still ask all these things. Believe me. I've tried it.
Dude with a weird username - hello
Me - Sorry, I don't do pms.
Dude - How r u?
Me - ...I don't do pms.
Dude - Ur nam? (and yes...I've had like 5 people say EXACTLY that.)
Me - *ignore*
THE END!
*happy sigh* I love happy endings, don't you? Also....you can say stuff as random as your GROCERY list and they'll still ask all these things. Believe me. I've tried it.
K
Karla and CC Bride, I get the man posing as a woman thing. Two of their most popular ploys: Pretending to be a young virgin who is afraid of her wedding night or the married woman who wants to compare her sex life to yours.
Two of their most popular ploys: Pretending to be a young virgin who is afraid of her wedding night or the married woman who wants to compare her sex life to yours.
What my pms consist of:
Dude with a weird username - hello
Me - Sorry, I don't do pms.
Dude - How r u?
Me - ...I don't do pms.
Dude - Ur nam? (and yes...I've had like 5 people say EXACTLY that.)
Me - *ignore*
THE END! *happy sigh* I love happy endings, don't you?
Also....you can say stuff as random as your GROCERY list and they'll still ask all these things. Believe me. I've tried it.
Dude with a weird username - hello
Me - Sorry, I don't do pms.
Dude - How r u?
Me - ...I don't do pms.
Dude - Ur nam? (and yes...I've had like 5 people say EXACTLY that.)
Me - *ignore*
THE END!
*happy sigh* I love happy endings, don't you? Also....you can say stuff as random as your GROCERY list and they'll still ask all these things. Believe me. I've tried it.
LOL