Females....WHY?!

[David_1]

Move on. You can get someone better that treats you with respect.

There is nothing more attractive for women than a determined man, going somewhere that takes charge of his life. That attracts women to you.

So stop this doormat nonsense.

If you take the attitude, that this person is a time waster, and you can do better, chances are she may actually want to come after you.

It sounds to me that YOU can do better. Stop setting your bar so low.

 

[secularhermit]

That is how I operate too. I don't care for rules. When the missing becomes too hard to take you take the next step and actually see the one that you love. This is what I am going to do tonight. Once you are with the one that you love the next step is to pick out the rings. This is how the game is played but it is more important than that. Forget about the rules as that is a game in itself. No Rules - Just Right - Be Happy

Yet ONE of my dearest friends wrote a post of RULES OF ENGAGEMENT, somewhere on CC, sometime ago.

 

[lookwhatthelordhasdone]

I think some women really don't know what they want, and when they do know, they don't know what to do with it once they get it. Also, we all love the chase. This is why you made this thread, because she has caught your interest and you can't stop thinking about her.

Here's my advice. When meeting someone who you really click with, don't make them the center of your universe and fixate upon that person. I think we all build this idea of an imagined future in our heads with the people we have interest in, and we're disappointed when anything deviates from that fantasized path. We set ourselves up for failure because we expect so much so quickly. In my humble opinion, if we were to take it one day at a time, taking each day for what it is, instead of stressing about what each interaction means for the future, it would alleviate so much of these problems. I hope things work out, and if she isn't the one, well- we know God has a reason for that. We just have to trust him, because in the end he knows what's best.

 

[Lynx]

Careful lookwhatthelordhasdon... you'll bring out the people who like to yell about "God doesn't plan marriages, God doesn't have "the one" for you!" again. We don't want to start them going. =^.^=

 

[violakat]

Careful lookwhatthelordhasdon... you'll bring out the people who like to yell about "God doesn't plan marriages, God doesn't have "the one" for you!" again. We don't want to start them going. =^.^=

Wait, are you saying God plan's marriages? Okay, I know I'm being factitious. But you really set yourself up for that. And in truth, God doesn't plan marriages for everyone. Some He actually created to not be married and some to be married. But, I guess that's a discussion for another thread. So, will stay away from this soap box.

 

[blue_ladybug]

Careful lookwhatthelordhasdon... you'll bring out the people who like to yell about "God doesn't plan marriages, God doesn't have "the one" for you!" again. We don't want to start them going. =^.^=

​Hah hah!

 

[lookwhatthelordhasdone]

I used the term, "and if she isn't the one" speaking from his point of view to relate to how OP was feeling about this lady. I meant if he was thinking she was the "one", that God may have had other things in-store aside from focusing on developing a relationship. Not that God had another woman in mind. I thought I had made that clear by saying that we shouldn't focus on relationships and make them the center of our universe, but maybe not?

 

[Lynx]

lookwhatthelordhasdon: I was being facetious. Sorry, I was the one who, it seems, did not make myself clear.

If you mention anything that could be taken as alluding to the possibility of God having a mate for you, some people here will jump on it with both feet. I was attempting to use this fact in a mildly humorous manner.

 

[Lecrae]

So, I tried contacting her to ask her what's up because I still obviously care for her. But I haven't received a response yet. That will be my last initiation of contact with her.

 

[ServantStrike]

So, I tried contacting her to ask her what's up because I still obviously care for her. But I haven't received a response yet. That will be my last initiation of contact with her.

Yeah seriously if they don't want to talk, then you tell them what's up and then just walk away.

Don't look back either.

 

[Markum1972]

Careful lookwhatthelordhasdon... you'll bring out the people who like to yell about "God doesn't plan marriages, God doesn't have "the one" for you!" again. We don't want to start them going. =^.^=

Agreed Lynx. God does both. Some marriages God arranges. However, only those that ask God to arrange it (as shown in scripture). Otherwise, God leaves it up to us. Simple... ask and you shall receive. Otherwise, things are left up to the natural affection that God created between a man and woman.

P.S. I love your profile picture. I am a major cat lover.

 

[Markum1972]

So, I tried contacting her to ask her what's up because I still obviously care for her. But I haven't received a response yet. That will be my last initiation of contact with her.

I am sorry that you are going through this. I can completely sympathize with how disappointing and hurtful this can be. Hang in there, brother.

 

[jsr1221]

of course we do lol

Why though? That's what I don't get. In my opinion women who do this are allowing the possibility of pushing a great guy into the arms of another woman. One who doesn't play hard to get or anything similar.

 

[zeroturbulence]

Maybe she lost her phone.


...just a thought.

 

[JesusismyPonyboy]

One time this guy liked me and he would sit outside my door every day I would see him if I left. One day I felt bad for him and had sex with him and then he never waited by my door again. Girls like ice cream.

 

[Ugly]

Yep. I suspected this person was a troll the second i saw the name. Guess i was right.

 

[Ugly]

Careful lookwhatthelordhasdon... you'll bring out the people who like to yell about "God doesn't plan marriages, God doesn't have "the one" for you!" again. We don't want to start them going. =^.^=

She's liked 3 of my posts in 3 days. It's a sign! What should i do next? hmm...

 

[MidniteWelder]

Why though? That's what I don't get.

To create an illusion:
Some people feed into the supply and demand concept as if people are a commodity.
Kind of like...."shopping"
Aka: scarcity creates desire.
Diamonds are distributed scarcely to create the illusion of High Market Value and desire for them
~ even though the reality behind the curtain is there is a plentiful supply.

As we can easily see by the many posts in the singles forum Good men/women are in Demand and there is a short perceived supply.
Yet a person with Real Value as opposed to the Illusion of value will hold out for what they are seeking.
Contrary to the secular world, As Christians we don't chase simply for the thrill of the chase.
We run the race to win.

A person with low self-perceived value may continue to play the "hard to get" game identifying themselves as the prize.
Within making the other continually work for it elevates their value in their own eyes... a self-motive rooted in pride.
(Although there are times someone is just trying to send a message of not interested and the pursuer persists due to mixed signals)
The "cat and mouse" / "hard to get" game may work in building some form of attraction based on a challenge
...initially...and only for a short time.
But if you stopped receiving a paycheck at work, you'd probably quit and seek employment elsewhere.

It must be realized that once the pursuer has caught the prize, Games are over.
Any further hard to get motives carried out would now be counter-productive and then be perceived as issues now being surfaced for continuing in the behavior simply for the attention.

We hear there are many Fish in the sea
If you caught your fish, and the fish keeps struggling. Let it go.

As thrilling as the chasee is with their ego being filled...
Serial daters do that since they have gotten into the habit that's all they know.
Hence a serious relationship would likely freak them out due to uncharted waters of new territory.

Most successful people at some point realize, They have no reason to play games they can't win.
Why play the lotto if you never win
Why invest in the stock market if you never win
Why start a pet rock shopping center if it will send you into bankruptcy.
Like Tic-Tac-Toe where neither person wins...
...A constant let's play again gets monotonous in short order.
So the person with Real Value will leave the other person with self-esteem issues to their own devices to find another victim to play the game with them again. And the cycle will repeat.

People with Real Internal Value as opposed to an illusion of value....
...have many options and one carrying out a game trying to create the illusion of scarcity will not create desire in the pursuer...therefore as you well pointed out.
Will only encourage the person with Real Value into the arms of another who:
appreciates
reciprocates
shows dedication,
devotion, and loyalty.

Some may argue that we all have value in Christ...since this is the actual truth of the matter
We should all show that, instead of trying to create an illusion.

 

[Lynx]

She's liked 3 of my posts in 3 days. It's a sign! What should i do next? hmm...

The next step is growing old together... I think.

What, you thought I was going to say the next step is marriage? Nah, nobody gets married anymore. That's old fashioned, now they just live together until they can't stand each other anymore.

 

[lookwhatthelordhasdone]

She's liked 3 of my posts in 3 days. It's a sign! What should i do next? hmm...

Option 1:
I would suggest sending her fifteen dozen roses, maybe hire a jazz band, along with a couple of engagement rings made of liquorice.
...I'm pretty sure you could just send the liquorice though, and that would suffice.

Option 2:
Holdup a boombox outside her window for a few hours, proclaiming your love in the pouring rain.

Option 3:
Fight a mountain lion with your bare hands to prove you are a strong and capable suitor. She will give you her handkerchief if she approves, and also to wipe up any blood you may have acquired while fighting the lion. She is thoughtful after all.