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If he does not love you enough to give you time and an option, he is not the right man at present.
Even if he believes, you will be married, he has to give you the time to find that out for yourself
Do not marry him now. You have to be shure, you want to spent the rest of your life with him.
A person that tells, "god told me, you are wrong" and "god will make it happen, the way I desire it"
would not be a person I would want as a spouse, because a spouse is someone one wants to share
ones inner thoughts and how is that possible, with someone, who is so shure he is right.
Even if he believes, you will be married, he has to give you the time to find that out for yourself
Do not marry him now. You have to be shure, you want to spent the rest of your life with him.
A person that tells, "god told me, you are wrong" and "god will make it happen, the way I desire it"
would not be a person I would want as a spouse, because a spouse is someone one wants to share
ones inner thoughts and how is that possible, with someone, who is so shure he is right.
B
I really dig that there are several people responding here who embrace the jewish betrothal and understand it's implications regarding marital pursuit in our current age. Yet, using this particular scripture reference in the scenario of the thread is out of context.
!st, for the OP to be counseled according to the Jewish betrothal principal... both of them would have to have entered into the engagement with the mutual consent and understanding of Jewish tradition and there is no evidence to suggest that this engagement scenario is anything other than the sort of engagement that is commonly practiced by mainstream american society. Therefore it is inappropriate to elevate any "contractual" obligation as there wasn't any to begin with.
The scripture reference is about divorce... meaning the parties ARE and have been married. WHile God views marriage as a covenant even when people don't... the point is that the OP is not married and has NOT completed the necessary steps to in act a marriage ... which are ... saying vows before witnesses and then consumating the vows.
The OP is therefore NOT an unbeliever and NEITHER party is bound nor obligated to complete the marriage at this juncture of the process.
!st, for the OP to be counseled according to the Jewish betrothal principal... both of them would have to have entered into the engagement with the mutual consent and understanding of Jewish tradition and there is no evidence to suggest that this engagement scenario is anything other than the sort of engagement that is commonly practiced by mainstream american society. Therefore it is inappropriate to elevate any "contractual" obligation as there wasn't any to begin with.
The scripture reference is about divorce... meaning the parties ARE and have been married. WHile God views marriage as a covenant even when people don't... the point is that the OP is not married and has NOT completed the necessary steps to in act a marriage ... which are ... saying vows before witnesses and then consumating the vows.
The OP is therefore NOT an unbeliever and NEITHER party is bound nor obligated to complete the marriage at this juncture of the process.
J
No matter what the reasons are for the OP not wanting to marry, noble or not, two wrongs don't make a right. If she should not have accepted the ring in the first place, that's one thing. It is not an unpardonable sin or anything. To go forward with making a lifetime commitment to a marriage you don't feel right about is quite another. Marriage is tough enough when you DO want to marry and ARE deeply in love with your spouse.
There doesn't have to be a right and wrong in this situation. Perhaps the OP is not supposed to marry, but the gentleman who gave her the ring is... Maybe he gave the ring to the wrong woman in haste and God has someone far better for him. IF that is the case and the OP marries him under duress, what happens when the right woman comes along? How many times have you seen exactly that happen?
There doesn't have to be a right and wrong in this situation. Perhaps the OP is not supposed to marry, but the gentleman who gave her the ring is... Maybe he gave the ring to the wrong woman in haste and God has someone far better for him. IF that is the case and the OP marries him under duress, what happens when the right woman comes along? How many times have you seen exactly that happen?
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Just a quick question for you,first from where in the Bible do you get that most are to remain single? Two where in the Bible are we to base things on experience?
From what I know of Barley,she does the speak the truth. She is blunt and to the point but there is no guile in her. Which in the long run is the better friend,the one that will tell you the truth or the one that will tell you the socially acceptable lies and will spare your feelings in the short term but not help you to get out of where you are at in the long run? From my experience the one that tells me the truth,even though it hurts at first is the better friend.
From experience I have found that IF one is called to be single God will wire you to be so, most people are not wired that way. God designed us right from the beginning to be made for that type of companionship. The reason why God created Eve.
Genesis 2
[SUP]18 [/SUP]The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
[SUP]19 [/SUP]Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. [SUP]20 [/SUP]So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam[SUP][f][/SUP] no suitable helper was found. [SUP]21 [/SUP]So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[SUP][g][/SUP] and then closed up the place with flesh. [SUP]22 [/SUP]Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[SUP][h][/SUP] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
[SUP]23 [/SUP]The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
[SUP]24 [/SUP]That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
[SUP]25 [/SUP]Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
God's design is not for us to be alone,it is the exception and not the rule.
If one is to remain single God will give you all you need to do so. It will NOT drive you crazy. (This I know from my own experience,I am to remain single and He has wired me that way) If one is to remain single there will be a contentment and peace about it. Now as to being single otherwise because of circumstances,that is something different,then the knowing
that one is to remain single.
From what I know of Barley,she does the speak the truth. She is blunt and to the point but there is no guile in her. Which in the long run is the better friend,the one that will tell you the truth or the one that will tell you the socially acceptable lies and will spare your feelings in the short term but not help you to get out of where you are at in the long run? From my experience the one that tells me the truth,even though it hurts at first is the better friend.
From experience I have found that IF one is called to be single God will wire you to be so, most people are not wired that way. God designed us right from the beginning to be made for that type of companionship. The reason why God created Eve.
Genesis 2
[SUP]18 [/SUP]The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
[SUP]19 [/SUP]Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. [SUP]20 [/SUP]So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam[SUP][f][/SUP] no suitable helper was found. [SUP]21 [/SUP]So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[SUP][g][/SUP] and then closed up the place with flesh. [SUP]22 [/SUP]Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[SUP][h][/SUP] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
[SUP]23 [/SUP]The man said,
“This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
for she was taken out of man.”
[SUP]24 [/SUP]That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
[SUP]25 [/SUP]Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
God's design is not for us to be alone,it is the exception and not the rule.
If one is to remain single God will give you all you need to do so. It will NOT drive you crazy. (This I know from my own experience,I am to remain single and He has wired me that way) If one is to remain single there will be a contentment and peace about it. Now as to being single otherwise because of circumstances,that is something different,then the knowing
that one is to remain single.
G
If there is no peace, God doesn't reside there. The devil has been stepping all over this thing from your description of how badly it stinks.
Your fiance sounds like a nice man, but, like many people, has a tendency for being controlling. It's not going to get better by marrying him.
He says that God told him you are the one? What if that was the devil? He appears to us sometimes as an angel of light in order to trick us into doing stupid things that are contrary to God.
If the man really loves you he will respect you, if he only loves what you represent to him (future wife) then he doesn't love you at all.
I don't mean to be harsh on the guy, but he seems to disrespect you, which is understandable because of his nervous disposition, but by no means does that excuse him from the consequences of how he treats you.
God himself will sort out this mess, not you, not him, not the devil, but God.
Seek peace above all, that is what will tell you who is right for you, that inner peace that comes from the Holy Spirit.
Your fiance sounds like a nice man, but, like many people, has a tendency for being controlling. It's not going to get better by marrying him.
He says that God told him you are the one? What if that was the devil? He appears to us sometimes as an angel of light in order to trick us into doing stupid things that are contrary to God.
If the man really loves you he will respect you, if he only loves what you represent to him (future wife) then he doesn't love you at all.
I don't mean to be harsh on the guy, but he seems to disrespect you, which is understandable because of his nervous disposition, but by no means does that excuse him from the consequences of how he treats you.
God himself will sort out this mess, not you, not him, not the devil, but God.
Seek peace above all, that is what will tell you who is right for you, that inner peace that comes from the Holy Spirit.
K
We need to pray about it the more. There are two things I will like to say about the WILL OF GOD. We have the will of God and also the permissive will of God. The later is God totally in control and the later is when we insist for God to let us do what we desire - He will permit us to go ahead. I need to chat with you online, am also on facebook ([email protected]). Keep praying, am also praying for you.
AHH but that bodes the question did she speak the truth? Because if one is going by what appears rude on the surface then Jesus Himself would have been very rude to the Pharisees,I mean after all calling someone a brood of vipers,sons of the devil,white washed tombs,etc yet in all of this He did not sin. In this it would by appearances it could come across as pride,yet again in all of this He did not sin. So is it from our point of view when WE see it as being rude or are we to see it from God's point of view? If one sees on offense,what is at the heart of the offense? There are two things in there,is it really an insult or is it because we do not like the truth? If it truly is an insult then it is on them,if it is because we are offended by the truth then it is on us. It goes to the heart of the matter.
Can you judge Barley's heart to know if it is pride or not? Just because one does not like the way someone else comes across does not in and of itself mean that the other person is what we think they are. Too often it is a misunderstanding to begin with and communication between the two is needed,too often they are judged long before we get through the misunderstandings.
Can you judge Barley's heart to know if it is pride or not? Just because one does not like the way someone else comes across does not in and of itself mean that the other person is what we think they are. Too often it is a misunderstanding to begin with and communication between the two is needed,too often they are judged long before we get through the misunderstandings.
Of course. But do too often when we hear someone else do it,we often look at it as if it is out of pride or something else because they are not Jesus and what gives YOU the right to say such things. Take a look at all the prophets and the apostles,did they always come across as being sweet,kind and loving by appearances,by our standards of what we think is kind and loving? Did John the Baptist come across that way? Or does love get to the heart of the matter even though it may seem blunt and to the point and can can seem to be offensive to us?
Pride is NOT always obvious. Pride is a matter of the heart and can you see what is in their heart? People often do NOT get that thinking to low of oneself is just as much pride as thinking too highly of oneself. Thinking too low of oneself is demeaning God's creation. We are to see ourselves with sober judgement.
Pride is NOT always obvious. Pride is a matter of the heart and can you see what is in their heart? People often do NOT get that thinking to low of oneself is just as much pride as thinking too highly of oneself. Thinking too low of oneself is demeaning God's creation. We are to see ourselves with sober judgement.
P
@OP
A couple of years ago i was told who I was going to marry. I can't say that I am any closer to getting married, and I will certainately never tell the lady in question until after the fact. If God said it'll happen, it'll happen. If you want to break it off, do it. If the Lord truly spoke to this guy then it'll come around again, under different circumstances.
Above all, don't worry. No matter what happens, Jesus loves you and always will. When the time is right it'll all pan out.
LIJ
Dan
A couple of years ago i was told who I was going to marry. I can't say that I am any closer to getting married, and I will certainately never tell the lady in question until after the fact. If God said it'll happen, it'll happen. If you want to break it off, do it. If the Lord truly spoke to this guy then it'll come around again, under different circumstances.
Above all, don't worry. No matter what happens, Jesus loves you and always will. When the time is right it'll all pan out.
LIJ
Dan
For those who were asking where Ugly was coming from:
[h=3]1 Corinthians 7:32-35[/h]New American Standard Bible (NASB)
[SUP]32 [/SUP]But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; [SUP]33 [/SUP]but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, [SUP]34 [/SUP]and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. [SUP]35 [/SUP]This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but [SUP][a][/SUP]to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
If you think it's taken out of context, also look at the whole chapter. It says in verse 7 of the same chapter he wishes others were single like he was. But, if God wants you to marry, or if you have a burning desire for it, then marry. Don't just sit and let it burn. Everyone is different. A lot of people want to marry, or God wants them to marry, and God will tell others to remain single because they are better of single than they are married.
[h=3]1 Corinthians 7:32-35[/h]New American Standard Bible (NASB)
[SUP]32 [/SUP]But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; [SUP]33 [/SUP]but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, [SUP]34 [/SUP]and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. [SUP]35 [/SUP]This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but [SUP][a][/SUP]to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
If you think it's taken out of context, also look at the whole chapter. It says in verse 7 of the same chapter he wishes others were single like he was. But, if God wants you to marry, or if you have a burning desire for it, then marry. Don't just sit and let it burn. Everyone is different. A lot of people want to marry, or God wants them to marry, and God will tell others to remain single because they are better of single than they are married.